Finding herself

Finding herself

A Poem by Jyoti_Ablaze





Jiggling down the lane, she laughs

She laughs so hard that she cries

 

Running down the lane, she falls 

She falls so hard that she flies

 

Stumbling across it, she finds

Finds something deep, she loses

 

 Desperate for breath, she binds

She binds so tight that she frees

 

As a free spirit she rise

Rises so sure that nothing defies.







 

© 2016 Jyoti_Ablaze


Author's Note

Jyoti_Ablaze
Thank you for your time!

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

wonderful job done here! keep writing! :D

Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Thank you Shadowine!
A fluid poem and enjoyable read. Good work Jyoti!

Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Thank you!
Lovely wording!
Keep it up!!

Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Thanks Emily!
love the flow!! i love that kind of writing!! i do that too!
makes you feel that everything is sort of connected!
Good job!

Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Thank you Neo!
Glad to know you like the style and practice it.
I would love to read. .. read more
Desert Rose

5 Years Ago

go ahead, take a stroll :) be my guest!
Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Sure thing!
Beautiful poem! Love the feeling it conveyed and the rhyme in which it was made!

Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Cyprian Van Dyke, thank you.
I like rhyming but I am bad with technical stuffs.
Glad y.. read more
Cyprian Van Dyke

5 Years Ago

You're most welcome Jyoti_Ablaze.
No worries, there's more than one way to rhyme!
Wonderful use of antonyms here.
It is beautiful how you have portrayed the two ends of the opposites.
This poem is so lovely that it can be perfect. Let me just point out to a few things that would make this poem even better.
In the first two couplets and the first line of the third couplet you have used 7 syllables in each line.
The second line of the third couplet has 9 syllables and the next two couplets also have different syllables .
Maintaining the same number of syllables in a rhyming poem is of utmost importance.
Coming to the rhyme scheme: The first, second and last couplet have a similar rhyming pattern (a,b,c,b,d,b)
The third and fourth do not go with this rhyme scheme. Maybe you can work on it.
I have given these suggestions because this poem is so beautifully portrayed and it deserves to be “the best”.


Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Well Shabeeh, firstly thank you for your elaborate, helpful review. I am a novice but with the help .. read more
Shabeeh Haider

5 Years Ago

We all improve with time.The few flaws in a poem can always be corrected.
In the second line.. read more
Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Thank you Shabeeh. I have done as you suggested. :)
such an interesting turn of phrases you use here...i read that one word as "lose" rather than "loose"

but i like the clever repetition...

opposites can happen in an instant.

j.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Thank you Jacob. I have edited the word as per your suggestion. Glad you kindly read and . reviewed... read more
A work of free spirit and liberation. It made quite a refreshing read.

Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Thank you Avinash for kindly reading n commenting.
There is such a glorious life flowing through your words... flowing through her. A strength to go on, to rise above the struggles and fears, and to learn to fly above them all. Beautiful and lifting in every way, Jyoti! :)

Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Oh thank you, Craig!
Its very encouraging!
[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Gee
Discovering oneself through age and experience, very well penned

Posted 5 Years Ago


Jyoti_Ablaze

5 Years Ago

Thank you Gee!

Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1774 Views
47 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on June 3, 2016
Last Updated on June 8, 2016

Author

Jyoti_Ablaze
Jyoti_Ablaze

Diamond city, India



About
My Favourites: "Perfection doesn't exist in the world full of Individuals." "The soul always knows what to do to heal itself, but the challenge is to silence the mind!" "Don't die with all th.. more..

Writing
Unsaid Unsaid

A Poem by Jyoti_Ablaze



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Reflections Reflections

A Poem by MOON


barefooted barefooted

A Poem by Latifa