Silent Waters

I'm hanging out by a river and readng Neruda

the river water at its most silent 

in the early hours 

it is the birds who break the silence 

whatever is their chatter 

we shall not know 

they shall never sound as angry 

as the years old silence between us 

what happens to a love that slowly dies?

a love once sparked with fire and dancing flames 

one which was looked upon with envy 

from all the circles and crowds 

love between you and I 

becoming accustomed over the rolling years to 

your unique ways of shutting down, closing out 

has become easier and so much harder in the silence 

as the day progresses 

the waters shift 

silence drifts

remembering anew the inadequacies 

we see in each other 

daylight seems to ignite the loathing

is this still love?

the vowing never to leave and

stay right by your side 

because I do believe a certain love is there 

It will always be there 

this unquenchable thirst for more prevails 

until this can be doused 

the fire will remain 

the water will keep shifting in it’s usual motion 

day after day 

the birds will chatter 

perhaps it is the birds who fully understand 

the inadequacies 

never mattered

Reviews

[Cassie]

Another Wow!!! you are an epic writer, have you published a book because I would want to get lost in your poetry? The last stanza closes the curtain you know like it happens in a play

[Red Pill Coyote]

OOOOH! I could feel your blood go through that valley.

[Fay Slimm]

A heart-tugging read of faded love and its results to the pair concerned - - that phrase " this unquenchable thirst for more prevails " really did for me - - - water may run silent but outing the hurt has a healing of sorts.

[Davidgeo]

If you can swim deeply, if you can fly very, very high... everything else seems to hurt for no reason. And it becomes a certain kind of mental illness that is very hard to address from either side.

Be articulately aggressive with a distinct purpose when you talk. It's a type of universal language for certain kinds of people. It drives that monkey part of our brain into being more human. Maybe you'll learn Jiu Jitsu as a side effect.

[KWP]

you know I did Bujinkan right.

my articulate aggressive communication has put me on the wrong side of my bosses.

they will never understand my drive.

[Davidgeo]

I'm just busting your balls. I don't know that many people more articulate than you in the real life.

[Davidgeo]

We should grapple one day. I won't hold back just because you're hot chick... you might get fucked up.

[KWP]

I'm already there ;p

[KWP]

If you can swim deeply, if you can fly very, very high


this is perfect :)

[Davidgeo]

It all comes down to fright and taboo questions. It's all actually somewhat easy to learn but, kinda scary to execute.

We'd have already jumped out of an airplane or climbed something tall, you and I, if doing something like that wasn't... socially difficult.

It would seem creepy, or something, for me to ask of you to go an adventure. It's taboo to find that here. We're not supposed to find people like that here.

So I've heard.

[KWP]

:) the people who were supposed to meet - were supposed to meet.

Adventures are fun - Qantas has said they may resume flights in Dec 2021 - do you know how depressing this is for someone like me ?

[Davidgeo]

I bet I can find you in person before that, if you would like me to.

[Davidgeo]

I don't like to see someone like you depressed.

[barleygirl]

This is a melancholy well-expressed message about those times when love is uninspired. I believe that people who slog thru long relationships are okay with stretches as you describe, understanding that it can't always be a big celebration of love. Sometimes love just crawls along like the silent river. Love the way you wrote this & also the brilliant concept behind it: "(birds' chatter) shall never sound as angry as the years old silence between us" . . . profound! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Wild Rose]

The raging fire, from early years, is still smouldering, she knows how to revive it
The golden tresses are now silver
I have leaned her ways and when to hold my tongue
She is still the girl I married all those years gone bye

[Einstein Noodle]

what an interesting setting, scene and soliloquy ..i especially love your river .. running silent .. at once something serene but holding that "loathing" hidden beneath the surface .. a lot of creative tension there my friend! ... the morning birds .. should be sounds of joy and welcoming of the day but ... these become "chatter" ... angry ...a universal, relateable tale says i .. commitment in relationships will be tested .. otherwise it wouldn't be commitment would it?! ;) and your river .."shifting" .. stunning allegory in this story... she is kept off balance by it .. a remarkable poem .. deeply personal and real ... it makes this old man think ... damn! i should make a play for KWP :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
great stuff my friend!
E.

[KWP]

you know I love the way Pablo Neruda brings to life the small elements of relationships so poetically - I tried to convey this here ... may have come across more harsh than anticipated ... this weekend involved a lot of time taking in the view of the river - it certainly unclogged my mins so I managed to push. this one out.

I was lucky when I got married - I managed to get one of the really really good ones. Truly he is :D

[KWP]

Thanks as always you - I love ya loads across the seas XXX

[Einstein Noodle]

yes .. from what you share you have a wonderful marriage .. and great kids .. high adventure is what i would name your family ;) ... love ya back girl!

[KWP]

ah, just like your family, we are living and learning :D beenwathing Ewan Magregors Long WaY Up Doco - he follows the same route as we did in South America.... am itching to get back to travelling gains :D XX

[Einstein Noodle]

i bet you are... love Ewan! I'll have to check out the movie! I don't think I've seen it.

[John the Baptist]

The years can be hard on once vital relationships. The speaker here seems to be holding on in the face of what comes across as living together separately. There is bitterness in this one, a bitterness born of indifference and a frustrated wish for more. Still, there is the determination to stick it out because some feeling does remain. The picture I get is one of quiet desperation.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

Inadequacies? there are always those...but do we love enough to accept those from our partner...
can we forgive the Imperfect-ness?
sitting by a river reading Neruda...what could be better for introspection!
I don't think often enough that we really sit and contemplate....Map out our path. We just barge ahead like a bull in a china shop and then wonder why we are always morose when looking back at what we could have done better.
I read the one line as "perhaps it is the birds who fully understand"----
great poem...made me look for a river to sit by in my mind.
j.

[KWP]

It’s a lovely place. What makes it even more lovely is the river dwindles off downstream and hardly any boats drift by - there’s no-one here !!!

Thanks for the editing - sending much love across the seas X