The Ascension

"Unable to perceive the shape of you, I find you all around me (...) For you are everywhere."- The Shape of Water.

Let you be my perfect storm.

I’ll drink your tears like cold rain

Coming to cleanse the fleetness of my world.

I can see your clouded eyes even now.

The passion within,

Waiting to raze my insides,

My soul, my life itself.

 

Come.

Unleash your tempest.

Every beat a thunderclap.

Every vein a lighting bolt.

 

And me, 

The willing victim who refuses to board the arc.

Let me drown among your waves;

Your winds take me wherever they may.

Fill my lungs with your sea foam and your turtles.

And as I draw my last breath,

I’ll be more than a mere mortal.

I shall have become a storm myself. 

Reviews

[Wild Rose]

May we ride out the "Perfect Storm" together

[Ralph Proenza (Docralph..]

Kaede, you burn with a beautiful passion. I hope you have already collected ALL your works into a volume (or two, or three...) Keep writing !!!
-Ralph

[John Alexander McFadyen]

This has a mythological quality to it as the protagonist expresses their deep and raging desire for another for whom they burn a flame.

[Bryad Polis Valentino]

This is very good. To become the tempest is a feat desired. I liked the part about more than a mere mortal, but remember that Edward was depressed before Bella. Isn't it funny how life as an immortal would really suck if we did not have love?

[Kaede16]

I wholeheartedly agree, but a storm isn't a person. A storm is passion and desire made liquid. Maybe even rage....
Thanks for passing by Valentino

[Bryad Polis Valentino]

It doesn't elude to anything like that. I did not perceive this as a passionate poem. If you want to see passion, read my book on Amazon "The Son Of Captain Kidd" or "An American Demon Hunter." I would think this refers to a storm and I see nothing tying it into passion. Make analogies, a little word of advice.

[Kaede16]

I cant see why an analogy is any better than a metaphor, they both have their moments in literature depending what one wants to express.
The beauty of art in general is that once we put it out there it doesn't belong to us anymore, which is why you have the right of making of this poem wtv you want. It's yours after all.
Nevertheless, the poem does elude to it. The whole piece is a metaphor, the man that is a storm, a force of nature that can nurture or destroy (being the latter the probable outcome in this case). And a woman, a mere mortal, pleading to become part of it, even if it means her own destruction. She refuses to board the arc, choosing instead her death by the hand of whom she loves most. and dying in this way (which is also a metaphorical death alluding to the great suffering a love like this might cause) will result in her own transformation, ascension into something greater, more powerful, more beautifully terrible; just like him.
I think that is passion, even if not on the most 'technical' sense of the word, but at the end of the day this is poetry. And free verse nonetheless. Technicalities are not one of our major interests.

[John the Baptist]

Very romantic offering here. Reminds me of the work of Light, who also writes for WC.

[Kaede16]

I’ll make sure to check them out! Thanks for passing by :)