Bricks onto Bricks

A discussion between two construction workers John and Saul on the side of a building about Saul's questionable past. Any criticism is welcome and encouraged, I'm a novice writer. -Peace and Love Sam

                Brick on brick onto brick to some brick, I loved this mindless metonymy. Bricklaying was perhaps the profession that God always wanted me to do. I looked around, it was sunny out, but not too sunny. The air was cool and the whole of nature was seeming to enjoy itself. Lovers walked in the park a hundred feet below me, but I could still see the smiles on their faces.

              I bobbed my head to my right and saw my partner sitting their looking terribly depressed, I couldn’t stand him being depressed for a reason I don’t even know about so I asked him, “What causes you all this distraught?”

                He looked away from his hands and into my eyes and asked me soberly, “Have you ever been to prison, John?” I wasn’t sure what to say, I don’t know why he would ask me such a thing on such a happy day.

                I couldn’t stand talking about such terrible things on a day that is so holy and worthy of other things to talk and chat about. I turned my head away from him and mumbled, “No, I don’t think I have ever gone to prison, Saul.” I said it quietly with my head turned so he wouldn’t be able to hear me, and maybe he would forget about asking about such strange things.

                Instead he took the liberty of explaining why he had asked, “I had gone to prison when I was about your age, spent fifty years rotting in this same building we’re repairing right know. Sort of ironic, eh?” I felt absolutely intrigued and confused, Saul was a nice old man. The last person who I would expect to have had a fifty year sentence.

                I was interested in what he had to say, but also a little scared. What if he went crazy and threw me off the lift and I landed on the ground with a splat. He seemed to be silently asking me if it was ok if he could continue. I didn’t really want him to continue, but I also didn’t want to be rude so I coughed into my fist and barely nodded.

                He caught the memo and started off again, “When I was young I used to go to school, a nice college downtown, on my parent’s money. I had very little money of my own so I was almost always working part somewhere.” There was a slight pause in his story where he had a small coughing fit and plastered a sour look on his face, “There was one place I worked that was called O’Malley’s Vegetable Mart, they sold very little vegetables, mostly candies. The guy that owned the place was called Donald O’Malley, it was a family business that just recently started booming. He had bought some other chains and even expanded down into Kentucky, he started making millions.” He paused again this time not to cough, but to steady his breathing, he hadn’t realized how fast he was talking.

                Saul had a pained look on his face, perhaps he didn’t know how much talking about the past hurt until he had already done it. I wanted to tell him he could stop talking anytime he wished, and how nothing that he said would change my opinion on him, but I knew that wasn’t true. Some twisted part of my wanted to know what he did, and my thoughts on him had already changed.

                Ready to talk again Saul resumed, “O’Malley had a daughter named Penelope who was as near damn old as he was, he must have had her when he wasn’t even sixteen yet, and this girl named Penelope always bought her groceries from this store, seeing that it was her pop’s, but she always payed in stacks and stacks of twenties. Everyone that worked there knew that she must have had a ton of money stacked up at her house. A few guys and I worked up a plan to rob her for all she got the plan was we wouldn’t even touch her, just sneak in, get the money, and leave.” I was a bit lost at this point, because I don’t know how he managed to get fifty years for non-violent robbery.

                Saul seemed to have gotten better control of himself now and directed half of his attention back to his work and continued his story, “We followed her home and waited for her to go to sleep, and I’m not sure why we did it, all of us had enough money, especially the other kids who came from wealthy families, maybe we just wanted some adventure. We waited for her to go to sleep, and then we snuck in. There was so much money I couldn’t believe my eyes. Money and drugs littered her living room, our original plan did include taking all the money, but the room was so depressing we just had to leave. Excited we drove back to our dorm room and stashed the money in show boxes. To commemorate our great heist we all went out for drinks, I remember all of us getting pretty wasted, and I guess one of us told everyone what we just did, and how much money we left behind. Someone pretty bad overheard.” I had goosebumps at this point and my work was getting sloppy, Saul didn’t seem to notice.

                I knew what was going to happen next, those bad guys at the bar go to Penelope’s house and kill her and take all the money and drugs. Saul went quiet for a few minutes and allowed me to recollect my nerves.  After what seemed like ages of us sitting there in silence Saul spoke up, “I didn’t want her to die, when I went to prison I was harassed and bullied. The only way I could survive was to join the Neo-Nazis, they forced me to get this big Swastika tattoo on my back, I’m f*****g Jewish for crying out loud.” Saul was weeping now, it made me so uncomfortable to see an old man cry, and in this moment I realized how old Saul really was, and how much I hated being a bricklayer.

                

Author's Note

Any advice is helpful, don't hold back!

Reviews

[The Heimerdonger]

Saul is a interesting character but he seems very shallow as basically a antithesis of normal old characters Overall i love this story as explains how messed up Jail is I think its a little slow but its perfect for the time and setting I rate 8/8 m8