Let Me Be

Let Me Be

A Poem by Gaurangi

Inject in me some hope
To deoxidize my sorrows.
Make me drink something merry
To let me see vividly
Or push me into the sea
Where I dive, explore,
Meet a world like my own.
Otherwise,
I'm alive without a purpose,
Like a meaningless song
Or a weak, incapable storm,
Living in the meadow
As an aloof, indifferent soul.
So either throw me off the highest floor
Or allow me to stay, untouched 
By your fouls and foolish prays
That preach so much more
Than they
Let you listen, ponder and grow,
Because I lust for me,
The one that I should be.
But if time doesn't accompany
And I only manage to put up
Is a play,
Where I'm the one that I betray,
I'll put myself to sleep
After I dig my own grave. 

 

© 2017 Gaurangi


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Featured Review

Gaurangi Hi. You've been kind enough to comment on some of my writing so I'm returning the favour.

If I stand back from this, what I get is a message with an either/or. The desire is to reach one's true being where things matter and make sense, where one's strengths and talents are celebrated - even if only by the giver there's still the joy that this is 'me'. The either/or is 'OK if that's not gonna happen just let me wither and die somewhere - in fact don't bother - I'll do it myself'.

As a piece of writing I preferred the first half up until ... Like a meaningless song, or a weak,incapable storm ... I can't exactly say why, for me, it falls away a little after that. I didn't really get 'meadow' and wondered if you'd meant 'shadow', and then there is 'fouls' which I assume should either be 'fools' or 'foul'. And I personally thought the rhyming parts me/be/accompany then play/betray would have worked better if those words had naturally appeared in the middle of lines rather than at their end. [BTW there's something awry in the construction and word-flow of 'I only manage to put up is a play' - perhaps 'all I manage to put up is a ...']

But my overall feeling is that this is beautiful and evocative. If you haven't read 'Our deepest fear' by Marianne Williamson I strongly encourage you to do so. It was widely thought that Mandela used this for his inauguration, but this is actually where it comes from.

Nice job!
Nigel


Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gaurangi

6 Years Ago

Hi Nigel,
Thank you so much for taking time out of your life to correct me and most important.. read more
Nigel Newman

6 Years Ago

The me/be/accompany is not awry. My comment comes from seeing too many poems on WC where writers hav.. read more
Gaurangi

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much, I will definitely keep it in mind for the next time :)
Really appreciate y.. read more



Reviews

Aloha Gaurangi, I loved the first 9 lines they are so me :) I relate deeply to to every line. The rest is also very well done. Smooth reading and I have to say your closing lines are very impactful. Thoughtful, inspired poetry. Izzy

Posted 6 Years Ago


Gaurangi

6 Years Ago

Aloha! It is wonderful that you were able to relate to it. Thank you so much :)
Gaurangi Hi. You've been kind enough to comment on some of my writing so I'm returning the favour.

If I stand back from this, what I get is a message with an either/or. The desire is to reach one's true being where things matter and make sense, where one's strengths and talents are celebrated - even if only by the giver there's still the joy that this is 'me'. The either/or is 'OK if that's not gonna happen just let me wither and die somewhere - in fact don't bother - I'll do it myself'.

As a piece of writing I preferred the first half up until ... Like a meaningless song, or a weak,incapable storm ... I can't exactly say why, for me, it falls away a little after that. I didn't really get 'meadow' and wondered if you'd meant 'shadow', and then there is 'fouls' which I assume should either be 'fools' or 'foul'. And I personally thought the rhyming parts me/be/accompany then play/betray would have worked better if those words had naturally appeared in the middle of lines rather than at their end. [BTW there's something awry in the construction and word-flow of 'I only manage to put up is a play' - perhaps 'all I manage to put up is a ...']

But my overall feeling is that this is beautiful and evocative. If you haven't read 'Our deepest fear' by Marianne Williamson I strongly encourage you to do so. It was widely thought that Mandela used this for his inauguration, but this is actually where it comes from.

Nice job!
Nigel


Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Gaurangi

6 Years Ago

Hi Nigel,
Thank you so much for taking time out of your life to correct me and most important.. read more
Nigel Newman

6 Years Ago

The me/be/accompany is not awry. My comment comes from seeing too many poems on WC where writers hav.. read more
Gaurangi

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much, I will definitely keep it in mind for the next time :)
Really appreciate y.. read more
I enjoyed the thoughts and the logic of the words.
"Let you listen, ponder and grow,
Because I lust for me,
The one that I should be."
The above lines. Should be the goals of the all of us. Seek laughter, dance and song. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

Posted 6 Years Ago


Gaurangi

6 Years Ago

Thank you so much for your comment and time, really appreciate it :)
Coyote Poetry

6 Years Ago

Was my pleasure and you are welcome.
“I'll put myself to sleep
After I dig my own grave.”
These lines are just amazing. Keep writing. My well wishes with you.

Posted 6 Years Ago


Gaurangi

6 Years Ago

thank you :)

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Added on May 8, 2017
Last Updated on May 8, 2017
Tags: #truetoyourself, #beyou

Author

Gaurangi
Gaurangi

India



About
I am an avid reader, follower of Khaled Hosseini and Jhumpa Lahiri. I am most fascinated and intrigued by human behavior which makes up most of my write-ups along with the habit of questioning everyth.. more..

Writing