Cross To Bear

Work in progress.

Bright the afternoon's sunlight

illuminating an ancient church

Wedding skirt rays of many a young bride

Stream through shattered windows

Covering the faded red rugs

In kaleidoscopes of stained glass

A man walks slowly down the aisle

Stops before the alter

Eyes no longer searching left nor right 

Dust stirred by his movement

Bathes him in an ethereal glow

He wipes a pew and sits

Bowing his head to cry

Standing unbroken behind the altar

An old rugged cross looks on...

Author's Note

Comments, suggestions, thoughts, all welcome. Thank you!

Reviews

[John Ciarmello]

Your style is interesting. You wrote of wedding here. I feel they were of bygone days. The man? I feel he is in and empty church of old. now mourning the loss of his wife so many years later reminiscing maybe? The shattered windows the dusty pews. I felt like I were there sitting in the back. Great imagery here and great work

[Karen Redburn]

I appreciate your kind comments, thank you so much! This poem is left to the reader to decide what is happening, and I enjoyed your take on it. Cheers!

[McEltic]

A piece worth pondering over... I assume the windows are shattered because the church is abandoned, not just because it’s ancient, although some vandals wouldn’t care either way. A man stirring dust as he walks the aisle confirms the assumption and wipes a spot to sit. Perhaps shedding tears in disgust of the vandalism in a place where so many happy memories were born.
So many secluded country Parishes have fallen to the lack of parishioners. Many have been bought and converted to homes.

[Karen Redburn]

Thank you for commenting. I love your interpretation of this one. I am surprised how many thoughts the poem provokes, although with the amount of creativity on this site I shouldn't be. I agree so many churches lost to decay or turned into something new. Cheers!

[Tim]

I like the ambiguity of the ending. We have to wonder why the man has entered the church to pray and why he is crying. When I first read this, my mind conjured up an abandoned church. Could it be the man wandered in the same church where he had married a girl long ago, but now lives as a widower? Has he committed some crime that is considered manslaughter? Is he dying?

Just some interpretations that go through my mind.

[Karen Redburn]

Thank you so much. I love this review, it is exactly what I wanted. The story shall be finished by the reader and their muse. I am learning to offer and not lead the reader, and it is killing me lol.

[Tim]

It is something I want to do in the future. It is the mark of a good poet.

[Karen Redburn]

Incredible and somewhat difficult journey. And at the same time, your instructional pieces are most valuable :)

[Tim]

...............Thanks.

[Dara]

This is very moving and filled with wonderful, almost haunting images that set the tone for the sad man in the pew. One can only guess what is hidden behind the heavy heart. I love the flow and choice of words.

[Karen Redburn]

Thank you so much for the comment and kind review.

[Nigel Newman]

Beautiful poem with such clear imagery and matching words. I can see the dust. I can imagine the past weddings and happy full congregations and the light through the stained glass. And I can see the lonely soul taking a pew. Very evocative. Tiny point but 'bare' perhaps ought to be 'bear' ... unless your meaning is about stripped out emotions laid open.

Nice work!
Nigel

[Karen Redburn]

Thank you, Nigel. As much as I want it to be "bare" I see that I would need to change the title for it to work. Thanks for pointing that out will correct. I am happy you enjoyed the rest of the poem. Thanks again, cheers!

[Nigel Newman]

There's something about the cross seeing everything. Human artifice is pointless in such a place. It's a very poignant and perceptive write.

[Great Aunt Astri]

Aw, this is such a clever poem with a gentle pathos. I'm not sure about 'wedding skirt rays' giving coloured light. I expect it is the light through the stained glass? But i really like this poem. That old rugged cross must have seem quite a lot over the generations! Nicely done.

[Karen Redburn]

Thank you for the comment. In my mind the rays coming through the shattered windows reminded me of wedding skirts, and because it is stained glass when the rays hit the ground they create a kaleidoscope of color. Thank you again for the kind review!

[Great Aunt Astri]

Lovely idea. You might set a trend. Ladies might start getting married in rainbow coloured dresses!!!!!

[Karen Redburn]

I think brides should marry in whatever color they bloody well please, so why the hell not rainbows?!

[Great Aunt Astri]

Quite right too ............

[Einstein Noodle]

poignant moment ..love the imagery ...soulful in its emotive glow ..i could be that old man (i see him old and a man) ... very easily .. maybe he was married there and weeps for his bride passed on ...maybe a simple sinner coming to terms .. i especially like the "Wedding skirt rays..." and your mix of couplets, quatrain and free verse ... seems to all work smoothly somehow ;) but my favorite is your closing with the rugged cross ... every present ..ever welcoming ...always ready for our return ..so enjoyed your poem this morning
E.

[Karen Redburn]

The moment courtesy of a painting I couldn't stop looking at a few days ago. I wanted to capture the moment in words as simply as possible. There was no scheme to the poem (as you probably figured out) if couplets and quatrain's snuck in there it was no fault of mine :) The vagueness of the man's plight is intentional. I wanted this to be left to the "readers muse" as someone mentioned to me in a comment on a different poem. It is great to see you this morning E. and happy you enjoyed. Cheers!

[Einstein Noodle]

and cheers to you dear friend! :)))

[danny]

the first piece of work i love on this site thanks

[Karen Redburn]

I am happy you enjoyed and thank you for leaving such a nice comment!

[Levi Levin]

An excellent thought indeed. Great work!

[Karen Redburn]

Thank you for the kind comment. Cheers!

[Levi Levin]

Your welcome!

[Tate Morgan]

Your best work so far. Concise trims a thought beginning to end

[Karen Redburn]

Thanks Tate, did a lot of thinking after our discussion on the wedding poem. You are a great support. Cheers!

[Tate Morgan]

You are welcome you seem to have grasped something good here