Copper Wishes

Work in progress, feedback appreciated.

Forest path lined with trees

Wanders toward a stone well

Covered in velvet moss

Where magical beliefs once lived

Poking through a leafy rooftop

Sun rays highlight forgotten memories

A girls penny wishes in copper cash

To a mute god its depths mysterious

Grasping the coin with reverence

She mumbles a desperate prayer

And tosses the coin away from despair

Monetary wishes drown in darkness

Clouds drift, blanket the sun

Spotlight fades, illumination remains

Only a memory of wishes and prayers

If "hope for" had become "work for"

And a water well hadn't grown rich

On her copper covered dreams

Reviews

[Lydia Shutter]

The imagery is stunning...the thoughts so poignant. It is true, wishing will not make it so...hard work will. I like the concept of "copper covered wishes." Well written. Lydi**

[Karen Redburn]

Thank you for the kind review.

[Stella Armour]

It is easy to think that the imagery you have portrayed for the setting could be magical, but alas we all realize eventually that magic is for children..it is an illusion. She know this when her wishes just drown away and cannot be bought ...

[Karen Redburn]

Thank you for commenting on this and sharing thoughts, Stella. So much wasted talent and skill when a bit of actions would make, at least some of those dreams, reality . Dreams drowned in wishes while actions screams get to work, lol. Thanks again.

[Stella Armour]

my pleasure ..

[wordman]

wow,,you took me on a beautiful journey

[Karen Redburn]

Its all about regrets and lost chances lol. The scenery was vivid enough, I guess. Thank you so much for reviewing!

[wordman]

my pleasure

[Rosie Brooklin]

What a beautiful piece! I love a poem with a moral behind it. This is a great lesson to learn, and I feel like everyone can relate to this on some level. Very well done!

[Karen Redburn]

Thank you for the kind review.

[FJ Davis]

Stark imagery.
That offering of blood, sweat and tears in moving from "hope for" to "work for" is all-too-often a price most humans are unwilling to pay.
Powerful piece!

[Karen Redburn]

Thank you for the review. The concept is simple, really. Not sure why it is so difficult to understand. Have a great evening!

[danny]

ohhh wow what a cracker reading it i already have a story for your poem very very good work keep it going dude

[Karen Redburn]

Uh, thanks dude lol

[Karen Redburn]

If you do find a story and write it, please send read request, very curious how you might perceive the poem :) Cheers!

[danny]

will do buddy no worries