Thief

Just a guy...hiding in the woods.

There's a damp, rotting smell in the air tonight. I can't get the taste of mold out of my mouth. It's not a pleasant taste, I can tell you that. There's no moon out, not many stars either. Just a lot of misty, moldy air, and an all too dark sky.

I hear voices now, and footsteps. Gotta lay low, catch 'em off guard. I blend in with the lifeless, strangely shaped trees. I am one with the shadowy underbrush. I am virtually invisible.

"There he is!"

A booming voice cries out into the night.

S**t.

Before I can do anything,they're surrounding me. I'm on my knees, hands up, men encircling me, trapping me like an animal.

"Thought you could run, hmm?"

One of the men asks me, his face twisted in an ugly-as-hell grin. His comrades throw insults and jabs at me as I calmly kneel before their leader.

"Well, no. But I did think I could hide."

Glancing up, around at my captors, I finish:

"Guess I was wrong."

His grin is ugly as ever.

"Oh you were very wrong, thief."

I hold back a sigh as they close in for the kill. This is what I get for robbing a bandit camp. What a pain in the a*s.

"Sorry about this guys."

Before they can lay a hand on me, I'm up, fist punching one in the face, rendering him visibly unconscious, before round-housing another, sending him spiraling into one of his brainless buddies.

"Stop him!!" 

The leader orders his men (what's left of them) with a commanding battle-cry. Despite his threat, I'm all action. I've got a little mental checklist going in my head.

Two down. Four to go.

I'm a whirlwind. 

Kicking, punching, jabbing, flipping, spinning, flying, owning a lot of ugly-bandit-butt. 

"No!!!"

The bandit leader exclaims, just before I give him a finishing fist to the face, knocking him cold.

I rub my knuckles regretfully, looking around at the messily strewn bodies. Without another word, I walk away, sighing into the silent night.

All that for a little bit of gold...

I hate my job.

     

Author's Note

A short, comedic story about a thief who robbed the wrong camp. Sarcasm and all.

Reviews

[Smith]

Really good short! Have you submitted it to any competitions? The structure is great - complete beginning, middle, and end, the character is really likable, and you got some kick-a*s writing skills! Loved the description and inner thoughts of the Thief and it was just really refreshing to read a solid, legit, entertaining short. Keep up the good work!

[Kat Blair]

Thank you;)

[ANM]

That is how it should be done I think! Can I borrow it for the competition! Great story and liked the way it was presented too!

[Kat Blair]

Thank you!

[ANM]

You are more than welcome I enjoyed reading it!