Paradoxical Love

When you don't know if you're coming or going...or both.

Your gaze, it invites me.

It whispers encouragements

To draw the secrets from my lips.

Your stare, it expels me.

It screams at my imperfections

And laughs with grand contempt.

Your persistence inspires me,

Uncast the shadow that obscured my light.

Your present absence expires me,

As your absent presence has done.

Your embrace surrenders me,

A gentle tyrant you are.

Your affection makes a warrior of me,

Wielded weaponry of walls.

It is in your attendance that I feel most alone"

Alone when your rhythm catches the beat of mine,

And for a moment in time and space we converge

And our melody transcends beyond you and I

Until I sit not next to you, but in you, and you in I.

Alone when I am brutally aware of your presence,

For it surges heat towards my cold shoulder.

Not in an attempt to dissipate the frost,

But as an unnoticed notice of my insignificance.

Until the bass in your rhythm drowns the harmonics in mine.  

It is with you that I am most uninhibited,

Like a familiar habit with no apparent outcome"

Or an outcome that is void of necessity.

It is with you that I am most guarded,

Contrived in my speech, my movement, my mannerism.

Careful not to expose the secret that compels me to you.

Loud enough so as to deafen the blows of my heart against my chest

So they don’t speak the truth to your ears

Quiet enough so that I don’t reveal the unworldly passion

That fuels this mechanical heart.

I need you here with me, I am not me without you.

I need you gone from me, I cannot be me with you here.

How can you carve the deepest sorrow into my soul,

Only to fill it with the most joy it has even seen.

I love you.

I hate you.

I love you & i hate you. 

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

Poem is the truth. What is bad for us. Made us crazy with desire and want. I like this poem. The emotion and struggle to understand love is a battle in your words. I like the ending. Love and hate are a heart beat apart. A excellent poem.
Coyote

[Wallflower]

Ed, i agree. I'll be back-packing Europe this summer, a good 6 weeks of me time!

@ Michael, thank u very much--trying to find an equal balance amongst these polarities is precisely what drives me insane! lol

[Michael X]

this is beautifully conceptualized romance, has an equal balance of rawness,
love and longing. formualted into a captivating poem, excellent job,

[Ed Hart]

i'm thinking you need to spend some time alone...months...