Molasses

I don’t think anyone before you ever saw me
I don’t think anyone before you really tried
is this what I’ve been missing for the longest time?
it feels so beautiful to be seen through your eyes
I hope you know how much it means that you wrote to me
that you were thinking that hard and that soft
because sometimes I feel like I notice everything
and no one else notices enough

I like the nervous tics that play out when I’m with you
you tap your feet and twist your body side to side
and you say what and I say nothing but that’s so far from the truth
my heart is in my throat, my airways tied
I like the way you say my name like it’s no big deal
it’s so much harder for me, couldn’t tell you why
you always make a point to say you like what I’m wearing
some time I’ll tell you why that makes me want to cry

love, for me, sets into all the little things
and there’s so many little things about you
the clink of your rings against my earrings
or when you smile when I’m just breathing into you
the way you act like you’re surprised when I remember
things about you that I took to heart
your birthday and the way that you feel about books
and I agree, beautiful, they make nice art

and if this is just the beginning
I hope it lasts a long, long time
taking it slow and easy
no rush nor expectations by design
and the old anxieties kick in
but you’re gentle when you brush them aside
no one’s ever taken care of me like that
you’ve always got the edge of surprise

cause I forget to be self conscious when I’m with you
forget to keep the front up and to hide
but apparently you must like what you see
you’ve got a certain look in your eye
and I’m feeling like it’s good to be me again
I can be comfortable in my own skin
no one to prod at me or pick apart my insecurities
it’s feeling safer to let you in

feeling safer to say that I’m starting to miss you
safer to kiss you when I want to kiss you
which, if I’m honest, I want to do often
even if it kills me, just build me a coffin
my heart feels like it might just burst
but let me get this off my chest first
I’ll try to be bolder and brave
like a soldier, head high, make my case

I’m definitely going to fall for you
it’s already happening
but I’m not scared to say that to you
it’s just harder to say than you’d think
this isn’t “blink and you’ll miss it”
not a “wake up and it’s gone”
it’s sticky molasses
there’s no test to pass
it’s the tune to my new favorite song