Excerpt 01

this is just an excerpt from a book. My book. I write in excerpts. Hope you enjoy.

"It's late" Nanin said quietly. Yara glanced at him, and then glanced back at the moon. It was a full moon tonight. The kind of moon with red, and black, and gold all around it at the same time. And she quitly observed it. "Father will not like it if you return late" Nanin continued. "I Know" Yara replied finally. Nanin was silent too and then he began to smile. "The full moon is a sign of blessing, you know" he said. "I know, Nan, I know. I'm just worried. That's all". Nanin shrugged and nodded, and they both observed the moon together.
Suddenly, in the distance, the drums bagan to beat. A slow and steady beating that seemed to have a life of it's own. "No" Yara whispered. Nanin too, was frozen beside her. "We have to go and get mother, and Gerda" he was muttering. In the split second of decision, Yara made up her mind. She grabbed Nanin and whispered in his ear "run" and then turned and headed to the village. "I'l meet you later. Run!" she screamed at him as she turned and fled to the war front.

Author's Note

hey. This is an excerpt so no back story and you don't really know the characters. Please enjoy...

Reviews

[Grimshaw]

Only two pieces of advice: the part of 'nan was silent too' might read better as 'there was a moment of silence' or something because there is no indication that Yara was silent. And where you say 'The drums began to beat' that might sound better simply as 'drums began to beat' because we don't know what drums you are talking about. But other than those two things I thought this was very good. I love the relationship between the two of them and the whole moon thing. Nicely written!

[promqueen]

thanks a lot!! It's always motivational to get reviews