Existence

A poem about myself

I'm under a lot of strain as of late
I wanna disconnect from the world
Lay alone
And punish myself with loneliness
My heart is growing colder
And the sadness is gnawing at it slowly


" you were much happier before, what happened?" he asked
I numbly stared into his eyes and asked myself the same question.
Is it because the year started off so badly at home, or because things didn't go so well at school or because you tried so hard to be good and pull yourself together that at one point you saw yourself breathe the last breath of the you
You've always known?

You not taking calls from home, not talking to any of your friends
Shutting yourself out
Blindly living thinking you can see
Thinking that your infant self lives beyond existence.

What are you searching for so badly?
All dead inside
Your heart aches from time to time and you're not sure whether it's pain you feel
Or the soon coming of your death.
You don't recognise yourself anymore
Dunno how it feels like to feel.
You lie to yourself sooo much that you end up lying to everyone around you with hopes
That they won't see what's truly happening to you and in you.

I was never ready to exist in the flesh
I sometimes wish they'd let my spirit wander freely in the universe
I can already imagine how happy I was
With no form, no shape and no size
Roaming around from galaxy to galaxy
Stretching my soul from as far as I wanna go
No limitations
No restrictions
No boundaries
Just infinity
Beautiful infinity..

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I don't know dear Kaybie.
"I was never ready to exist in the flesh
I sometimes wish they'd let my spirit wander freely in the universe
I can already imagine how happy I was
With no form, no shape and no size
Roaming around from galaxy to galaxy
Stretching my soul from as far as I wanna go
No limitations
No restrictions
No boundaries
Just infinity
Beautiful infinity.."
Freedom can be lonely. One of a kind. Maybe we would become a mist of a memory. Interesting poetry my friend. Made the reader think and ponder.
Coyote