My Heavy Mind.

The blue sky turned black over my head,
The breeze breezed hot to make me sweat,
In the coldness of air, I still felt like in hell,
When I found that she's gone, leaving my life.

My mouth shut up every word it could say,
My thoughts and feelings were everywhere scattered,
I couldn't even hold my tears back,
Not even to show that I don't feel the pain.

She should have told me she was going to leave,
Then I would have prepared my mind ahead,
I would have started erasing our memories,
And try to get myself used to myself without loneliness,

But now she's gone, leaving me in the dark,
Of where to start without consideration.
I felt like I'm guilty of a crime I don't understand,
But what could have been my offence to earn this reward?

Author's Note

I don't just understand...

Reviews

[Jibey]

People just move on, sometimes for no reason. It hurts, but it happens. We sometimes never understand. You express the bewilderment many of us feel, regularly.

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Thanks so much for this wonderful review, Jibey.
I really appreciate it.

[gram linski]

no one does, Kay, it always takes us by surprise, even if we are expecting it, , excellent wordage, imagery,
your heavy mind makes for a good read

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Thank you for your thoughtful review, Gram.
Very well appreciated.

[Chris Shaw]

A sad situation Kay. I can:t imagine what it would be like to have your love leave without a discussion first. The shock must be so painful. That comes across well in your lines of free verse. Wishing you all the best and for your heartache to ease.

Chris

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Thank you for your kind review, Chris.
I wish my heart discern well another time before it ever loves again

[Eilis]

These are difficult experiences, indeed. The sudden break-up or loss is often harder to bear--especially when it is not something we saw coming. But, there is strength to be gained in the journey and experience that will make us better able to cope with what we are next given. And perhaps more discerning when we are seeking love in the future.

A stirring poem you've written here, Kay. My heart goes out to you.

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Thank you, Eilis.
You words are true and I really appreciate them.

[Crowley]

That's always the worst...a great piece that shows the heaviness of unexpected break-up. It makes my heart heavy. Great writing though!!!!

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Thank you, Crowley.
That's what such a feeling left a man with.

[John Alexander McFadyen]

You capture the sentiments of this situation well in your word choice and phrasiology of this freeverse poem. The final line of stanza one may need some working as it is difficult to understand. The voice you give the character is excellent and makes the reader feel his pain and confusion.

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Thank you, John.
I take a look at the error.
And thank you for your wonderful review.

[Neville]

Sudden and or unexpected departures, particularly of a loved one will obviously cause a lot of anguish.. depending on the nature of the departure, this can felt as a bereavement.. for that is what it essentially is.. and likewise, you can expect to experience shock, anger, denial and each of those stages repeatedly and not in any set order... I can feel your ache in the words you have penned.... A fine poem indeed ... Neville

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Thank you, Neville..
It's not a suitable saucing sort of experience to have a broken heart.read moreThank you, Neville..
It's not a suitable saucing sort of experience to have a broken heart.
Only that the heart itself is trying to mend itself.

[Neville]

Broken hearts obviously take time to mend....

[Ted Kniffen]

Nicely penned, Kay. The sentiment is terrifically expressed. I could feel the pain in this one and see the cloud under which you must deal with the separation.

Well done.

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Thank you,Ted.
But I think I have to learn from this.

[Kesch (Finding Julia)]

wow! What a deeply emotional write here,

[Kay Salisu Titilola]

Thank you so much, Kescha
I really appreciate this review.