Halley

Halley

A Chapter by KeeD

photo girl_in_space_v_by_sissorelle-d5iro1z_zps484a13b9.jpg

I see it in your eyes the lies of a thousand moons

Orbiting this disguise that you resorted to

The wind blew tonight whispers of sighting you

Reach out for my hand I am the satellite that watches over you

 

Halley understand I know your plans I see the truth

This comet of a life takes you by the knife and cuts your fortitude 

Like a stellar collision of constellations in your head

Giving rise to dead horizons fallen stars they bled

 

Beams of light bursting inside you've lost control

You scream there is not enough time in space to save your soul

So I gather your pictures lay it down in rocket fuel

Blaze it all up I've had enough of you just shooting through

 

I see it in your smile wicked child of the universe 

Watching us pass by generation at a time immortal curse

Living in the sky just waiting to die when will you burst 

The intentions in your eyes harboring secrets of the universe

 

 

 

photo girl_in_space_i_by_sissorelle-d5fw17j_zps7263985c.jpg


© 2017 KeeD


Author's Note

KeeD
Picture Credit goes to the artist sissorelle from deviant art


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Featured Review

The poem is so good. Each statement worthwhile and wonderful.
"I see it in your smile the wicked child of the universe
Watching us pass by generation at a time immortal curse"
I love the above lines. I could write a epic tale from. Thank you Keegan for sharing the amazing chapter.
Coyote

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

"I see it in your smile wicked child of the universe
Watching us pass by generation at a time immortal curse"

Beautiful lines Keegan, this comet has a mystical side to it. Perhaps it watches over earth, sweeping past us as an omen, a harbinger of dark, unforeseen events. Mocking our ephemeral, fleeting existence. It is to appear next in mid 2061. I hope to be witnessing the amazing spectacle from somewhere among the stars. A very memorable write from you.

Posted 6 Years Ago


If writers were immortalized by their work, yours is one engraved in immortality, Keegan. I wish the stars can thank you enough.

Overview:
Halley is a comet with a personality that is very questionable or suspect as to true nature or quality.While it can be perceived as a rare comet, the author gave it life which may well be perceived as a person.

Review:
1. The strong metaphors, personification, and metonymy is wonderful. Example; "I see it in your eyes the lies of a thousand moons"
2. Although, Keegan, you haven't given an author's note reflecting your reason to write this, I wonder why you painted Halley with strong negative compliment "....Your eyes the lies of a thousand moons" Line1 Sta 1. "Halley Understand I know your plans I see the truth" Line 2 St. 2"...Your smile wicked child of the universe" Line 3 St 3.
3. Yet you offer help, show compassion, and even death Line 3, 4 st.3 "So I gather your pictures lay it down in rocket fuel
Blaze it all up I've had enough of you just shooting through"
4. There is contradiction of Halley's condition: "Beams of light bursting inside you've lost control
You scream there is not enough time in space to save your soul" Line 3, 4 st.3 shows Halley's destruction. Then comes this line 3 st.4 "Living in the sky just waiting to die when will you burst "

This piece is fantastic. First it feels as the voice of this work is in love even though Halley seems to be Wicked. At this point, this negative compliments seem they are meant to show love. Or perhaps, it simply means human love for wickedness is desperately endless since it is relative to endless universe.

Remember, Keegan, this is review of your mind in MY perspective not who you are. Kisses***



Posted 6 Years Ago


KeeD

6 Years Ago

This is such an incredible, well thought out review.
Truth be told the meaning behind the po.. read more
Mirror

6 Years Ago

to me, it also feels wicked she never knew about your deep love for her. She has missed a thousand w.. read more
The poem is so good. Each statement worthwhile and wonderful.
"I see it in your smile the wicked child of the universe
Watching us pass by generation at a time immortal curse"
I love the above lines. I could write a epic tale from. Thank you Keegan for sharing the amazing chapter.
Coyote

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love everytime I reead something of yours. Its like looking at a spiritual twin. Funny how you always encouraged me to keep writing. You're the one with the better talent. We certainly need to work on a collaboration. xo FLB

Posted 6 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love the comparisons and metaphors you use.
Sometimes, someone passes through our lives so quickly, leaving behind a trail of fire, a scorched path.
Good poem.

Posted 9 Years Ago


KeeD

9 Years Ago

Thanks for the visit and support Ana :)

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Added on November 20, 2014
Last Updated on September 22, 2017


Author

KeeD
KeeD

Mumbai, India, India



About
Hey I'm Kee, I'm 32 and work as a journalist in Mumbai, India. I dabble in writing poetry and do it purely to pump out the creative juices in my being. Thank you for stopping by, live, laugh and love .. more..

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