Midnight butterfly 🦋

Midnight butterfly 🦋

A Poem by KeeD

Midnight butterfly 🦋 


 photo download_zpsv0tkj0qd.jpg


Lucy your vision lights up
a dark Brooklyn sky
Down in the ghetto you're fixed
for tonight's high

You're a supernova
of personality
Sucking in attention
 like you're made of gravity 

Tomorrow means nothing
to a girl who lives for today
The streets seem to lack colour
 when you're away

You’ve possessed the city
 and you're running wild
Preying on men
who seek to be defiled

If the curbs talked they would
sing songs of your seduction
Intended or not
you lead to a hearts destruction

On your throne of trash
you claim the attention of every guy
Fluttering around the district
 like a midnight butterfly

© 2019 KeeD


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I've known midnight butterflies like this, My Keen-Minded Friend … far too many.
Bless their restless hearts, soothe and keep their searching souls safe.
Featuring nice rhymes, strong (but sad) energy, good metaphor, too, for a more impacting poetic voice, and delivers a deeply-meaningful message to those living this wayward lifestyle.

A thought-provoking work, with a perfect title and apt picture, Kee … much enjoyed! ⁓ Richard 🍃

Teacher's hints: For a more appealing presentation, easy, interesting, and smoother read, I think each of your lonnng-line Couplets would work better as Quatrains, and without proper punctuation, it has a monotonous run-on effect, reads a bit stark, lacks personality, and feels unfinished … consider my favorite verse, for example:

Tomorrow means nothing,
to a girl who lives for today.
The streets seem to lack
colour, when you're away.

You’ve possessed the city
and you're running wild,
preying on men who
seek to be defiled.

(just some poetical techniques to try)

I like the colourful blue butterfly touch, too. : )

Posted 7 Months Ago


KeeD

6 Months Ago

I really like this review and I think I will definitely take up your guidance on the presentation as.. read more
Richard 🍃

6 Months Ago

Beautifully rendered, Keegan! : )

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Added on March 20, 2019
Last Updated on October 30, 2019

Author

KeeD
KeeD

Mumbai, India, India



About
Hi I'm Keegan, most of you talented people on here know me as Kee. I'm 28 and work as a journalist. I write to release bottled feelings, so although it might not be very good, it is me. Thank you for .. more..

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