Kids Are Stupid

Kids Are Stupid

A Story by Kees Kapteyn


Kids are stupid. Young kids especially, are stupid. Cruel and stupid. It’s that mix of cruelty and stupidity that manifests itself so profoundly on the playground.   Let me relate a story that will show you what I mean.
I don’t remember what I was doing when it all happened. I might have been playing soccer, or maybe basketball. I was on the pavement, so it may have been basketball. I might have been playing with my brother, I don’t know. These aren’t things I remember from the incident I’m trying to queue in my mind. The memory that’s contained is the moment I turned to see Steven Driscoll being overtaken by two Grade Six boys, Leo Muzerdi and Paul Grazenko. It was like a chase scene from Untamed Planet; a drama of lions and springbok, tripping the prey, sending the feet airborne and setting upon it, grabbing and tearing while it struggles. Now watch; here is where the stupidity comes in. The boys then grabbed Steven by each wrist and by the hems of his pants, then swung him like a hammock, back and forth. Why they figured that doing this would be a fun idea still amazes me to this day, but its effect is indelible now, burned into the annals of history for all who witnessed it.    This caused a spectacle then, because stupidity is intrinsically entertaining, and most of the eyes on the playground turned to watch at this time, to point and laugh. Now here is where the cruelty comes in. As Steven was being swung, his pants, always loose and baggy, came off. Steven fell to the muddy ground, his arms restrained by Leo while his pants left him, possessed by Paul. There was a suspended moment, like it had been thrown in the air and hung there for a second, when we all stopped and gasped, dropped our jaws ands tried to comprehend what we were seeing. That moment, as I said, hung in the air for the briefest time, and when it came down in accordance to gravity, we all exploded with laughter, laughing at Steven laying there prone in the mud in his red brief underwear. I saw the look of terror in Steven’s eyes and was faced with a choice between either pity or laughter before I began to laugh, self consciously to myself. Steven struggled to pull his pants back on, taking them back in a brief act of  generosity from Grazenko. It was the most pitiful thing I had ever seen. Steven’s pants bunched up at his ankles and his knees as he moved frantically every which way, heels carving into the mud, rolling over to pull the pants over his a*s, covering up his firetruck red underwear soiled with sodden grass and mud. While he did this, his eyes then scanned us all , crazed and frantic, seeing who was looking and what they were thinking, as if taking account. I had never seen anything so frighteningly intense in my life. I found myself looking for a place to hide. Steven then got up and ran to the back door of the school, pounding on it when he found that it was locked. Trapped, he then turned to face us all with his face red with tears, shame and rage.
“I hate you all! I f****n’ hate you all!” 
His voice was raw and tightened with anger.  He sounded a thousand years old.  I saw some eyes look down and faces turn away, smiles fading to safety, while other kids stood defensively.   Mr. Olson, the janitor let Steven in, his face a picture of befuddlment. I could hear Steven as he raged down the hallway, still screaming invectives at us. I slid around that corner of the school building, wanting to hide, not wanting to be next and  deeply ashamed of myself for who I was and what I had just seen.

© 2008 Kees Kapteyn

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I experienced horrific things like that growing up...I know how it feels to be that kid....makes people turn into s****y adults that drink too much and don't like are mean and stupid, but it isn't their fault is the adults' fault for not watching them better. Where are the teachers at?

Posted 12 Years Ago

lol you pulled me right in on that one i guess young kids are pretty

Posted 12 Years Ago

1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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2 Reviews
Added on March 28, 2008
Last Updated on March 28, 2008


Kees Kapteyn
Kees Kapteyn

Ottawa, Canada

Resides in Ottawa, Ontario, Canada. Self-published his zine 'rhododendron' and two chapbooks: 'grubstreet' and 'coffee salt.' Has been published in,, Novella, Corv.. more..

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