what you are to me <3

what you are to me <3

A Poem by Kelso
"

this is your answer

"

you ask me what you are to me

you ask me why i love you so much

you want to know what i see when i see you

 

your touch, leaves me begign for more

your breath, keeps my heart racing

your eyes, give me comfort

your arms, are my shelter

your lips, touch mine

your fingers, trace circles

your chest, is my pilow

your voice, gives me butterflies

your hair, so soft

 

© 2010 Kelso


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. . . okay, I'm assuming you're new. This is nice, don't get me wrong, but it's rather bland. Starting with "you" and "your" might be creative, but your over-repetative use of them isn't earning you any points with this poem.

My suggestion is to add more meat to this poem. Use a stanza to describe each charactersitic (touch, breath, eyes) as well as cut back on those you can't describe very well. Overall though, keep it up. That's the only way you'll get better.

Posted 11 Years Ago



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Added on March 23, 2010
Last Updated on March 23, 2010

Author

Kelso
Kelso

About
im an 18 year old girl who is very interested in writing more..

Writing
your the one your the one

A Poem by Kelso


my life my life

A Poem by Kelso