The House

The House

A Poem by Twilight

I remember well,

When we used to dwell,

Two brothers,

In that house from hell

 

But I was lucky,

For I escaped,

Before the hour,

Of night was late

 

The shuttered doors,

Creaked and groaned,

Unholy moans,

As I lay alone

 

But my poor brother,

In another room,

Slept alone,

So near to doom

 

He knew not,

Of this evil house,

What our heirs,

Would never share

 

Until that night,

When I took fright,

Leaving him alone,

To die or fight

 

Down those stairs,

As they creaked,

I heard my brother,

Start to weep

 

I turned once more,

To face that place,

With rude fear,

Upon my face

 

Then all at once,

I heard the wind,

Knowing that,

I had sinned

 

Before my eyes,

I saw the sight,

And heard the wail,

Of an evil wight

 

Its ghostly shape,

Of an evil wraith,

Grey and misty,

Formed a dark cape

 

In my fear,

I swooned and fell,

In that howling wind,

I could not tell

 

If that weeping sound,

Which I heard before,

Was my brother's moans,

Or the creaking door.

© 2008 Twilight


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Featured Review

The rhyming flowed perfectly. I loved it. Of course, you know how I love some supernatural pieces :D


Before my eyes,
I saw the sight,
And heard the wail,
Of an evil wight

I love these lines. I don't think I've ever heard "wight" before. Very different. I like how you used old English throughout the piece.

Nice work! :)


Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

Chilling poem! Much enjoyed.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Amazing, I love it. Defiantly my favorite poem on WC. By far.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Very nice work. A scary yet well written poem. Thank you for sharing. Debileah

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

scary, I liked it but it makes me think of nightmares I used to and still do have sometimes. Very descriptive.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Nice mixing of old and new. You've managed to marry the old scots word Ken (for know) with modern words. Awesome job. And your use of Wight and Wraith.... Ahhh simply wonderful!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Twilight, um, seems more abusive than creepy to me,
maybe because I've been abused, so it triggered those thoughts,
but either channel, it is morbid, ---much love, mishel

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

J, you placed me on a journey of fear and betrayal. This piece read like a well-crafted story. You did good with imagery and cut out all of the unnecessary words without compromising the theme. Nice job.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I liked the feel of this read...it was very melodic, and you did a good job with keeping up a rather difficult rhyme scheme without making it seem terribly forced. I also like the imagery and word choice that you used, because you were able to illicit a definite feeling of fear and dread. Nicely done.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I really appreciate how your words weave an atmosphere of dark despair. The direction of your poem is in complete opposition to where I thought it was originally go, but that's a good thing. Keep shining!

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

The rhyming flowed perfectly. I loved it. Of course, you know how I love some supernatural pieces :D


Before my eyes,
I saw the sight,
And heard the wail,
Of an evil wight

I love these lines. I don't think I've ever heard "wight" before. Very different. I like how you used old English throughout the piece.

Nice work! :)


Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on November 11, 2008

Author

Twilight
Twilight

Belper, Derbyshire, United Kingdom



About
My first name is Julian. I'm a white male, straight, English, christian, pro-life and 42 years old. Writing is just an interest to me. However, maybe I have the potential to achieve more? My favourite.. more..

Writing
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