To Spite a Vampire

To Spite a Vampire

A Poem by Twilight
"

In this poem, it is suggested how one might cheat a vampire. Even as such a fiend is about to strike, you would be wise to follow the advice.

"

Is it any surprise,

that the dead souls rise,

to slake their thirst,

with the alive

 

Young or old,

even young at heart,

the soul is sure,

to depart

 

Instead of life,

the vampire brings,

a living death,

so fear those wings

 

Which flap and batter,

at your window panes,

in an evil quest,

to tap your veins

 

Of that crimson flow,

which shall suffice,

to take the life,

like some unholy sacrifice

 

But fear not,

there is still hope,

for a brave mortal,

just take the rope

 

And a noose you make,

for your tender neck,

to kill the body,

yet save your soul

 

From eternal damnation

in vampiric hell.

© 2009 Twilight


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Featured Review

This is a really dark write. The poem seems to descend into darkness as it flows. From the beginning which is an impersonal description it turns midway by taking it to our window and ends with horrific direction. I thought this stanza had some forced flow issues in the last line:
"Of that crimson flow,
which shall suffice,
to take the life,
like some unholy sacrifice"
Especially because the two stanza's before it are masterful in their flow. Really great portrait of your vampiric world. Loved the dark write. Keep up the fantastic work, you know I'm a fan!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

This is a really dark write. The poem seems to descend into darkness as it flows. From the beginning which is an impersonal description it turns midway by taking it to our window and ends with horrific direction. I thought this stanza had some forced flow issues in the last line:
"Of that crimson flow,
which shall suffice,
to take the life,
like some unholy sacrifice"
Especially because the two stanza's before it are masterful in their flow. Really great portrait of your vampiric world. Loved the dark write. Keep up the fantastic work, you know I'm a fan!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Twilight shows some very vivid imagery in his masterpiece. For example, (I like this part):

"Which flap and batter,
at your window panes,
in an evil quest,
to tap your veins

Of that crimson flow,
which shall suffice,
to take the life,
like some unholy sacrifice" ~ His rhythm is on point and flows well. Twilight also has mad skills in storytelling poetry. This piece was great to read, sending me on a dark journey inside the life and death of a vampyric soul.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

From eternal damnation
in vampiric hell.

Amazing. I loved how you conveyed that a vampires life was a living death. Great job. Keep up the great work!

~Veralily

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

"Instead of life,
the vampire brings,
a living death,
so fear those wings" I think the last line should have more to it like so fear those blackened wings or something like that.

I like this piece although i do not agree but well my name says it all lol. I think that you did this very well however i thought you used "," a little too much for my taste. I felt it took away for the poem and the feeling of it. The other part was that the last two stanza didn't seem to flow right to me and felt alittle rushed to end. This was a fun poem and shows the side that not many people see, the don't give in they're vampires not lovers part. Great Job!


Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I agree with Duchesspoet, about the noose, and tender neck and all,
very alluring, great poem Twilight, --mishel

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

i really like this peice especially the part where its better to die in the body then loose your soul to the damnation of vampires. Love it....

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

And who knows, one soul may not be saved, for the vampire could
haunt you on the astral plane;). AD

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Here in the states is an HBO series called "True Blood" that I've been watching.
I was traveling and listening to talk radio when I heard the director talk about ( what at that time was an upcoming series) and I was particulary impressed by the bold direction he elected to take!
I'm not sure if it is a broadcast there but if it is I certainly hope you're watching because I think you would find it interesting to say the least!

I love how you use bold and descriptive metaphors to lure your audience!
Here is one of my favorites:
""And a noose you make,

for your tender neck,

to kill the body,

yet save your soul



From eternal damnation

in vampiric hell.""

Another very impressive write!
Oh my... you've definitely got my attention... should I be honored enough to say that I've shared my work with a sceen writer...?
Perhaps my acting abilities will have an emergence and I'll be coming to London to do a screen test! :)

I love what you do my friend!
Keep rockin'!

Your fan
The Duchess...




Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

It is never a vampiric hell, yet think of it as rebirth.

;o)

Check out some of my writings, there are some Vampire ones there, you just have to look through.

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

What a choice ... a soul kept, a life lost; a soul lost, eternal hell.

If one believes in a soul, I don't think the choice is difficult.

Sound advice for living.

Linda Marie

Posted 12 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

353 Views
10 Reviews
Rating
Shelved in 1 Library
Added on November 21, 2008
Last Updated on February 14, 2009

Author

Twilight
Twilight

Belper, Derbyshire, United Kingdom



About
My first name is Julian. I'm a white male, straight, English, christian, pro-life and 42 years old. Writing is just an interest to me. However, maybe I have the potential to achieve more? My favourite.. more..

Writing
Eden Now Eden Now

A Poem by Twilight



Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..