Part II: June

The first book of the Escape the Fate series, Breaking the Curse, continues with Part II

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PART II: June

[RUNO]

     Runo had been with the Wellingtons for several weeks now and she loved it there. Cynthia and Gavin had actually gotten her a cell phone! They were not strict about her dating Johnny, they just told her to call and check in from time to time. Dating would have never been allowed at the Winters, they would have probably beaten her.

 

     Cynthia was only 33 so Runo and her were developing a close friendship like relationship, but nevertheless Runo still respected the Wellingtons as parents. She frequently remembered her and Johnny's first date when he quoted Romeo and Juliet and told her he was in love with her. They still hadn't kissed yet but Runo wasn't ready. She still hadn't felt ready to tell him about her background either.

 

     Graduation had come and gone and neither Johnny or Runo planned on going to college right now. Johnny had gotten a job at Barnes and Noble, just part time. He had decided that he didn't want to rely on his dad for everything. Runo was too afraid to look into getting a job right now, she got overwhelmed very easily. But graduating was a proud day for Runo, she never thought she would actually be able to complete high school.

 

"Dear Sisko,                                      June 2

     I'm sorry it's been a while. I've just had no sorrow to bombard you with and I'm so busy. But honestly, I never thought I would understand the term 'Life is good' Johnny and I spend every minute we can together. He hasn't tried to kiss me yet and part of me is glad because I will have no idea what to do when it happens. We have connected so much, but I am in love with him, Sisko. We go to Starbucks all the time and I have come to love Soy Chai Tea Latte's and I discovered Marlboro Lights go very well with coffee. I know, I know, I shouldn't be smoking. Johnny looked at me like I was crazy when I asked him for one the first time. He told me over and over again how I shouldn't start, because stopping would be really hard and how addicting it is. I said I didn't care. He chuckled as he showed me how to light it. The first time I coughed and coughed but after a few drags I got used to it and now I love it. I don't have my own pack or anything, I just share with Johnny when we go to Starbucks. And don't worry about me getting mixed up in drinking or drugs, Johnny is against all of that because of his mother back in San Antonio. I just feel like I'm a normal 17 year old now. It's so amazing to feel this way. He is the equivalent of utopia. And I am the luckiest girl in the world. Johnny is so perfect and there is not much more I could ask for.

Here is a new poem I have written:

 

Glowing Hands

 

Learning to trust again

Learning to feel

Opening the door

And letting the steel wall

Plummet to the ground

Once upon a time

All I found was darkness

Pain engulfed my every move

Yet you have truly

Made my life worth living

I view our destiny

As a world wide phenomenon

I cannot deny

A once broken heart

Now healed by glowing hands

These hands have sealed these wounds

I no longer have to bleed

No longer have to hurt

True love found me broken

And healed me--sweetly

 

Rakastan Sinua,

RUNO*

 

     Johnny was on his way to pick her up. It was the beginning of June and the Texas heat was smothering. She wasn't sure what to wear because she had barely had any clothes until yesterday because the Wellingtons took her shopping in Dallas at the Galleria.

 

     She couldn't believe it. In other foster homes they just got her the bare essentials. Gavin and Cynthia told her to literally pick out whatever she wanted. She discovered Hot Topic, and she bought some band shirts of bands that she liked including HIM (the most famous Finnish band in America) and she got some classic bands that Johnny had introduced her to like Nirvana, Pink Floyd, and Led Zeppelin.

 

     She bought different colored jeans and regular denim jeans, and some cute plaid skirts, and black skirts with zippers on them. She had never been bold enough to wear skirts before but she felt like she was confident enough now. She got brand new pair of converse tennis shoes so she could get rid of her old ratty ones.

 

     She went to Buckle and saw clothes like Johnny wore, Affliction, Ed Hardy, Sinful, etc. When she looked at the price tags she felt bad. "Cynthia, this stuff is so expensive." "Honey, we want to do this for you. You're like a child to us." Cynthia whispered to Runo. That made Runo feel good. She knew Cynthia couldn't have kids, so this made Runo feel really special.

 

     She was picking through her clothes hoping she would be ready by the time Johnny arrived. "Cynthia, I've never had a problem with too much to wear." Cynthia laughed, "Well I'm glad we did this for you. You're a special girl, you deserve it."

 

     She decided on a pair of hot pink skinny legged jeans, and her black Edgar Allan Poe shirt and her brand new converse. She thought about wearing one of the cute skirts with leggings but she didn't want to look too s****y, she knew Johnny hated girls who did that. The door bell rang and there he was! Her everything.

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[JOHNNY]

     Every moment with his girlfriend left him breathless. He was going to see tonight if she would just give him a small goodnight kiss. Only if she wanted to of course. They had gotten so close and she had opened up a little bit about her parents, not much, but a little. That assured him that she trusted him.

 

     He didn't mind them moving slow, he was not ready to tell Runo that he was a virgin at 18, it was too embarrassing. He had saved himself for the right one and he was more than half way sure she was the one, it was just a matter of when. But that didn't have to be any time soon. He didn't care about that. This relationship wasn't about sex, it was about emotions. But most of all it was about poetry.

 

     There she stove in bright hot pink jeans and a black Edgar Allan Poe shirt. "Olet kaunis." he said proudly hoping he pronounced it right. "Hey, where did you learn Finnish?" She was so cute when she was overjoyed and perplexed. He had told her she was beautiful in Finnish. He had googled it online. He thought it would make her laugh.

 

     Finnish seemed like a really complex language. He was surprised Runo had taught herself that language by herself. But there were millions of things Runo could do. She really underestimated herself. "I love you." she said and he pulled her into his arms. She was so small, she fit perfectly in his arms. "Where are we going?" Runo asked eagerly. "It's a surprise." They were going to go to a park and read poetry under the stars. He hoped and prayed that they could share their first kiss there.

 

     He listened to her talk about her shopping spree in Dallas and he was trying to listen but he was more concerned with how he was going to go about kissing her. He didn't want to scare her or emotionally damage her in someway. He didn't know for certain but it seemed like she had been hurt by other men. Runo was too much of a delicate angel to be mistreated like that.

 

     When they were on their way to the park Runo asked him: "Johnny, have you ever watched crows?" "Do what?" he had no idea what she was talking about. "You know, like a group of crows together. Have you ever just sat and watched them?" He'd never heard of doing this before. He didn't know what to say. "Well, no I can't say I have." She was so peculiar but that made her all the more interesting and the more beautiful. "I used to watch them when I felt I had no one else to talk to. I would tell them all of my misery and woe. They actually make really good companions." she said with a quirky smile. "My Runo talks to crows. That's extremely awesome. I've never heard of anyone doing that. Why crows?" She sat up and popped her knuckles. "Because..." she began "They are spun of the darkness. They are scorned by mankind. Yet they soar in Heaven's blanket, the sky. I used to wish more than anything I could fly with them away from here and find my parents. But now that I've found you, I haven't really felt the need to do that." She was brilliant, a brilliant poet with a wonderful soul. He wished he could have kissed her right then but he was driving. "You are something else, Runo."

 

     They arrived at the park, and the sun had set and the stars were twinkling. "We're not camping are we?" Runo asked cracking up. "Me? Camping? Come on Runo don't you know me?" They both laughed "We're going to stargaze and read poetry." "You just made my ultimate fantasy real." Runo exclaimed happily. "Oh don't flatter me." he said blushing. "Johnny, I'm being 100% serious." Johnny felt like he was glowing inside. All he wanted was to make life more perfect for Runo. And he felt to the best of his ability he was doing just that.

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[SYLVIA]

     Time was passing by and it was now June. Sylvia had actually made it to Level 3 and had started making progress...sort of. She was still determined to keep her lips sealed about Ryan. No use opening up that drama. Sylvia didn't really believe in all of the values at New Foundations. But she figured if she wanted to get out of there she should just work the program, or at least fake it.

 

     Even if she had made level 3 she still didn't think she deserved to be there. Most of the girls either had severe alcohol/drug issues or they had cutting issues or they had eating disorders. Sylvia felt she was none of these things. Oh and she was so-called Bipolar. They had diagnosed Alexis with the same thing, and several other girls and Alexis and Sylvia secretly believed everyone was diagnosed with that when they couldn't conclusively come up with anything else, just to keep you in the program longer.

 

     Nevaeh was on Level 5 getting ready to graduate. She had ditched Alexis and Sylvia to be part of the "upper level girls" club. Alexis was still on 2 because she had cut while she was in the shower about a week ago. But Nevaeh had become pretty much brainwashed by the program.

 

     One thing Sylvia was really glad about was that she never got into the cutting or eating disorder world. She had listened to Alexis and Nevaeh's stories in group therapy and some of the other girls and those seemed like very hard issues to over come. She was also glad she had never tried a heavy drug. She had seen a girl named Angelica detox off of Heroin and it was horrible.

 

     Now on Level 3 Sylvia got 1 family therapy call with her father and 2 social calls. She loved talking to Johnny about him and Runo. It made her heart happy. Once she got Level 4 she could go on a home visit, and Level 5 was just your day or 2 before graduation. Also on Level 4 she wouldn't have to ask to go everywhere.

 

     Sometimes in group Sylvia would think about bringing up Ryan just so she could process through it, but then she would remember that telling everyone about that would keep her here longer. When Dr. Allen asked her who gave her the vodka she stuck to her story that she was already too drunk to remember the guy's name or what he looked like.

 

     They constantly insisted that Sylvia needed Alcoholics Anonymous. She didn't know why they thought that because they didn't know the extent of her drinking. But they mostly said it because of her genetics from her alcoholic mother, Samantha. Sylvia smooth talked her way out of it like a gem.

 

     As she lay in bed that night she thought about Ryan and was laughing to herself because she hoped to keep him as a contact when she got home. But that was her secret meant to stay between Sylvia Blackwell and Sylvia Blackwell only.

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[RUNO]

     Johnny had no idea Runo always dreamed of this since sixth grade when she heard the sonnet by Shakespeare. Johnny pulled a quilt out of his trunk. He sat down in the grass and spread his legs out and said: "Come sit." charmingly.

 

     Her heart was racing. They had never been this alone before. It both excited her and made her anxious. She had to keep telling herself he wouldn't hurt her. He was too perfect for that. She started walking over to him underneath the night sky and sat between his skinny legs. She started to tremble a bit. Stop it, Runo she was cursing herself to get it together.

 

     "Are you okay, baby?" he asked as he tightened his arms around her waist. She shivered. It was time to tell him, it was only fair. "I have never..." she stammered. How could she tell him this? "Go on, Runo. You can tell me anything." he said trying to coax her, tracing her arm with his index finger. She had goose bumps. She took a big deep breath, she knew saying it all at once would be easier than breaking it into little splices.

 

     She couldn't look him in the eye to say it. "Johnny, I've never been involved with a man in any way unless it was sexual abuse." Runo was so ashamed. Done. She couldn't take it back. He knew now. There were no erasers for words. She felt her eyes stinging and she felt Johnny's whole body stiffen. She had never seen him mad before.

 

     "Who were they?" He asked flatly. "Johnny..I..." "WHO?" he interjected before she could finish. She was bawling now and suddenly terrified of Johnny. She leaped up from his grasp. She had never felt so ashamed. "Take me home." she whimpered. "Please, Johnny take me home!"

 

     "No, Runo please listen...it's not like that. I'm not mad at you." he said regaining his composure. She was nearing the point of hysterics. Even though he was starting to act like Johnny again, she was still afraid for some reason. "You won't hurt me will you?" she cried between sniffles.

 

     "Do you honestly think I would ever hurt you?" he said calmly. "No I don't, you just seem so angry. It's scaring me." "I'm so sorry. It's nothing you did. You know that." he said taking her in his arms. She pressed up against his black shirt, not even noticing that she was getting snot and tears all over it. "You have to understand, the thought of anyone hurting you, abusing you, like that. It makes me sick." he said sternly.

 

      "Runo, you're the most amazing person I have ever met. I promise you that as long as humanly possible I will give you the life you have always deserved. I promise you that." Runo was still crying, she was so upset she couldn't really comprehend what he was saying. Her tears were overshadowing everything, and she wanted to stop...but she couldn't.

***********************************************************[JOHNNY]

     Johnny couldn't believe what he had just done. He had tried his best not to show Runo the anger, but hearing about her sexual abuse was too much for him. Secretly, he wanted to kill the men who did that to her. He had never had violet thoughts like this before, besides when he found Sylvia with a bottle of vodka and he wanted to kill the son of a b***h who gave it to her.

 

     She didn't seem like she could calm down. "Do you still want me to take you home?" he asked solemnly. "I think that might be best." she said between sobs. It was almost like a dagger. He had totally fucked up the whole evening and he hated himself for it. Was she saying it was over?

 

     He couldn't handle this. They drove home in silence. He couldn't think of anything to rectify the situation. He wanted to break this oblivion they had somehow found themselves in. He planned on this evening to be so perfect, to share their first kiss. He had turned the whole thing into a nightmare. As they approached the Wellingtons home he had to say something to break this horrid silence.

 

     "Does this mean it's over?" he asked her quietly, hoping to God she said no. "No, no that's not it. You just scared me that's all. I just need to think a little bit. I love you Johnny" she said as she got out of the car. He still felt like s**t. "I love you too." he said and she slumped to the door the way she used to back when he first met her. I'm a f**k up. Johnny thought to himself and drove away.

 

     When Johnny got home he kept his iPhone within reach hoping Runo would call him. He was too afraid to call her. He truly thought that he had torn their relationship apart with his anger. But at least now things made sense. It made sense why Runo was so timid and withdrawn. He didn't understand how someone could be so sick and mistreat her. She was such a gentle pure soul.

 

     He couldn't stop beating himself up, the fact he had lost control with his anger in front of her. She didn't deserve it at all. He should have been soothing to her, not raging. The phone never rang.

 

     He had no hope left. He was about to lose the girl of his dreams and ultimately his soul mate. He grabbed his poetry notebook and read all the poems he'd written since he met Runo, the day he quoted Dylan Thomas and his eyes started tearing up. He didn't know why he was crying, she hadn't told him it was over. But he was hurting because he had hurt her. He hated that there was tension between them when it was once so perfect. His anger had ruined all of it.

 

"A Hope In The Hollow*

 

My rage has sent me

Down a spiral

That I never thought we would meet

You're so sleek

And so succulent

I failed to console you

So now I am the criminal

With hands dipped

In crimson blood

My tears are pouring

Like a frozen waterfall

Where I cannot breathe

Due to frozen circumstances

There was once

A hope in the Hollow-

That is my heart

Dreaming of your precious self

Up close and next to me

How could I be so selfish?

You're nothing but a dream

All I yearn for

Is to show you the miracle of love

Yet can I do that?

Do I even know what that means?

Goodbye Moon, Goodbye Stars

Where this crime took place

I am nothing

But a mistaken sigh

Left out in the rain

I crushed the most innocent

I destroyed the most elaborate

Cringing as I think of

That devastated face

What have I done now?

Will this ever mend?

Or have I destroyed

All that ever was

And all that ever will be?"

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[SYLVIA]

     Tomorrow was Nevaeh's graduation. Sylvia had not yet seen a graduation because there had never been one. New Foundations had only been open 6 months, and Nevaeh would be the first. Sylvia had been wondering what Johnny and Runo were doing. She also wondered about her parents (she still cared about her mother deep down) and her lifelong friends she'd had before they moved from San Antonio.

 

     They had all been friends since first grade and had grown up together. They were devastated when they found out Sylvia was moving to Dallas. Johnny wanted to move but Sylvia didn't. Johnny was always sort of a loner until he met Runo.

 

     In San Antonio she had never felt the urge to have male attention, she never felt the urge to drink, she never felt the urge to sneak out, but the month and a half they had lived in Dallas, after she met Ryan suddenly she had the urge to be with older men. She didn't know his age until she snuck out of the apartment to be with him, but she got a thrill and a rush out of having sex with a 19 year old guy when she was only 13.

 

     Their age difference never bothered them. They had all the crazy, drunken sex they wanted. Suddenly she felt like she needed a male's attention. Desperately. She didn't care what she had to do, she was determined to get it.

 

     Luckily, Travis was working tonight. Travis was one of the laid back staff and he was flirtatious with Sylvia a few times but of course he never put the moves on her. It was 3:00 AM and Sylvia was sure everyone was asleep. Andrea was the other staff working and she was downstairs, so if she and Travis got a little friendly nobody would ever know.

 

     She walked out in the living room. She knew she didn't have to ask permission with Travis. "Hi Travis"  she said plopping down next to him on the couch trying to be as quiet as she could. "What are you doing awake?" he said playfully. "I just wanted to see you." she whispered putting her hand on his leg.

 

     They were being as quiet as they could. She could tell he wanted to, but he was scared about how much trouble he could get in. "We can't..." he said stopping as she slid her hand up to his thigh. She whispered into his ear: "It's okay. You're safe with me."

 

     He slipped his arm around her. "Alright. But you can't tell anyone. Not even Alexis" he whispered looking into her eyes in the dark room. "I know." she said softly. She felt Travis take a deep breath and he tilted her face up and he kissed her.

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[RUNO]

     Runo had not felt this sorrow in so long. She had to explain to Cynthia and Gavin when she came in that Johnny had done nothing wrong to her and that she was overly sensitive and ultimately she was a f**k up, so she believed. She was nearing the point of mania again. She had so done Johnny wrong. He hadn't done a damn thing, and her emotions overpowered.

 

     She didn't have the nerve to call him now after she had humiliated herself. She wanted to badly to be as close to Johnny physically as she was emotionally. She cried as she remembered all the precious memories they had shared. And now she felt like she was breaking Johnny's heart and he didn't deserve that at all. He was too good for that.

 

     She grabbed her journal and furiously began to write a Letter to Sisko. It was well beyond midnight but she couldn't sleep.

 

"Dear Sisko,                                      June 3

     I am a complete f**k up. Johnny tried to make the most romantic evening, stargazing with poetry. He even had me come sit between his legs and he put his arms around my waist and it scared me. So I told him the truth about all of my experiences, I didn't go into detail. I just told him I have been a victim of sexual abuse. He got angry and it scared me. I told him to take me home which I really regret now. I seriously hope and pray to God hat I haven't fucked up forever. But it has just suddenly hit me. I am so upset I think I am going to use the razor. Please forgive me, Sisko.

 

Rakastan Sinua,

RUNO*

 

     Runo's heart raced as she went into the bathroom and popped out a brand new razor blade. It had been 3 months since she had last cut herself. She knew if she did it on her arms someone would see. She didn't want to wear long sleeves, it was June in Texas. She had never cut anywhere but on her arm but she decided on her hip. She knew she was going to have to control herself and not go too deep because she didn't have a needle and thread to sew it back up.

 

     She slid the razor across her hip bone and glided it ever so delicately. The tingle made her weak in the knees. She had missed it so much. She used all the strength she had to stop before it got too deep.

 

     The blood was dribbling on the tile but she managed to wipe all of it up before it stained. She closed her eyes. This was the one place of tranquility besides Johnny's arms. No one was going to know about this. Not Johnny. No one.

 

     After she finished her self destructive act she looked at the clock. It was 4:47 AM. She wasn't sure if she could wait any longer to call Johnny, so she decided to write a poem.

 

"Bleeding Again*

 

Remembering you,

You have a smile that raises the sun

And you have words that can

Awaken a dead wilted flower

Then I ran away

For no reason or will

I trembled as you told me

It will all be okay

For all I have ever known

Is pain and true heartache

Until you charmed me

And left me breathless

Now I am bleeding

Now I am crying

All I need is a single second

To know you still believe"

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[JOHNNY]

     It was nearly 5:00 AM and he hadn't slept a wink. And then he felt a vibration of his cell phone. He answered on the first ring. It was Runo. It was his angel.

 

     "Johnny..." she whispered softly. He could tell she was still crying. "I love you" she said before he could say anything else. He had been glancing that night through his E.E. Cummings complete poems book and he had found a perfect stanza to say to Runo. "I love you. For your little startled thoughtless ways. For your ponderings, like soft dark birds. And when you speak tis a sudden sunlight." He loved E.E. Cummings so much, he was his idol. He wished he could write like him. "All of it except the thoughtless part" Johnny said laughing. "I'm so sorry." she said for the second time. He wished he could hold her right now.

 

     "It's okay, sweetie. It's my fault. I should't have gotten so angry at those sons of b*****s. Or at least controlled my anger around you." He was careful about his words while her emotional state was so brittle. They talked for a long time and the sun was coming up. Johnny had an idea.

 

     "Hey, you in the mood for some early morning coffee and cigarettes?" He hoped with all he had that she would agree so he could hold her in his arms and talk to her. All he wanted was to melt her pain away if that was even possible. She had had such an unfair deal at life.

 

     "I think Gavin gets up at 6:30 to go jogging. What time is it?" she asked hastily. He chuckled when he saw the time: "It's 6:29. Perfect." "I'll go ask him." He could tell she wanted to see him just as bad as he wanted to see her. Johnny was already getting his clothes on. The Wellingtons, especially since they had graduated were really not that strict with her anymore. And they liked him which was good.

 

     He could hear Runo coming back to the phone. She was out of breath from running all over that huge house. "He said yes!" she said happily. It was good to hear her happy again.

 

     As he drove over to the Wellington's house every minute away from Runo was beginning to feel like a mile even though he was just minutes away from having her in his arms. She was waiting on the front steps of the house and she looked decadent.

 

     She had on a plaid skirt, converse tennis shoes and an Ed Hardy shirt with the skull tattoo artwork saying: "Love Kills Slowly" on it. She was so beautiful. He'd never seen her in a skirt before and her milk white, perfectly shaved legs looked tempting. He'd never felt sexual towards her before and he knew he was going to have to control himself. He'd never had sex before, and he knew Runo would be sensitive about it and he didn't want to frighten her all over again. He couldn't screw up again.

 

     Johnny couldn't even tell she'd had a sleepless night, she looked like a million dollars, as she strolled to the car. She still looked ravishing. As soon as she got in the car she told him: "Johnny, I want you to kiss me. I have to desensitize my fear and learn to trust you physically as well as emotionally. He was so eager to but he didn't want to take the chance on another disagreement. "Are you sure? Runo, it can wait. All I want is to spend time with you. That's all that matters. Besides, I'd rather make our first kiss special and spontaneous." "But Johnny, the whole thing that happened last night was my fault. I need to just get over it." she exclaimed with frustration. "I'm a f*****g freak. And as Dylan Thomas says in 'Love In The Asylum' I am: "A girl as mad as birds"

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[SYLVIA]

     As Travis gently touched Sylvia she spun into another world. For some reason the act of being with an older man was always thrilling but since Travis was an older man and a staff member it made it even more exhilarating.

 

     As they made out in the darkened living room upstairs in the dead of night praying to God no one would catch them Sylvia took him in with all the desire she had. She thrived on every second of this out of bounds passion they had discovered. If someone were to wake up and see them Travis could face statutory rape charges and years in prison. He was 10 years older than Sylvia.

 

     Sylvia didn’t really care if she got caught as much as if Travis did. As his hands moved in more taboo places the more she wanted him but she knew they couldn’t get away with going all the way. Sylvia loved the feel of an older man. However, she had never been with a guy her own age because it never appealed to her.

 

     Men her age used to appeal to her until she was about 11. But around the time she turned 12 she felt herself starting to fantasize about older men. It made Sylvia feel sexier to be wanted by a man rather than a boy her age (which she viewed as a child)

 

     As the night progressed the more she wanted him but the more it scared her because she knew how truly vulnerable they both were in this twisted situation. But of course that made it all the more desirable.

***********************************************************

[RUNO]

     Johnny was certain that having their first kiss should be special and unexpected. He also kept trying to tell her that she wasn't crazy and shouldn't be talking about herself in a negative context. But she had decided that today she was going to confront her pain and expose the truth uncensored to Johnny over early morning coffee and cigarettes.

 

     Runo had been exploring different coffees at Starbucks, and now she was hooked on frappucinos. They sat in their usual spot. "I want to tell you my life story." she said boldly. "I don't care if you get mad, it won't bother me. I swear." "Runo, baby, I don't know if that's such a good idea." Johnny said wearily.

 

     She wasn't backing down. She needed to do this for Johnny, for their relationship and ultimately for herself. She lit a cigarette and took a deep breath. He interrupted her one more time. "You're sure this is okay?" Johnny asked taking her hand. He had sad puppy dog eyes at this moment.

 

     "I am. Are you sure this is okay with you though, that is the question." "I'm not saying it's going to be easy for me but if you feel like this is going to help you then I will back you up every step of the way." She took a sip of her soy mocha frappucino and took a deep breath. "Okay. I was born nearly 18 years ago in Helsinki, Finland. I do not know my parents names or anything else about them." "Wait Runo! I hate to interrupt but do you know your last name?" She smiled.

 

     "I didn't until I was in the psych ward, for some reason no one ever told me. I discovered it on my chart during therapy one day there. It's Soikkeli." "So you don't know anything or anyone with that last name? Why don't you google it?" "I thought about doing that but once I found you and the Wellingtons treated me so well, I didn't feel the need to. I'd really like to figure it out, but I figure when the time comes, it will all come to me." "Oh okay, go on. Sorry, I was just curious."

 

     "Somehow before I can remember I ended up in foster care when I was 3. But I really don't have much recollection until I was about 5. I was in a foster home in New York City with the      Jones family, Ralph and Sandy. They had 3 other foster girls, Ebony, Jasmine, and Alanna. I was the youngest.

 

     I don't remember much detail until the day Ralph asked me to come help him with something in the attic. Sandy had the other girls out on an errand. The reason I got left behind alone with Ralph is beyond me. I guess Sandy thought I was too young. It was really cold outside, and I remember not understanding why Ralph wanted me to take my clothes off.

 

     This was becoming much more difficult than she thought it would be. She had her hair in her face but she peeked over at Johnny and he had tears in his eyes. She took a deep breath to continue her story.

 

     "Ralph touched me, and fondled me and made me do the same to him. I remember him grabbing my hand and I tried to back away but he had lied to me and told me he knew my parents, and he told me if I said anything to anyone he would kill my parents, and he would kill me.

 

     It went on for 3 years, Johnny. 3 F*****G YEARS! He took my innocence." She lit another cigarette. "I swear to God..." he began obviously trying to control his anger. "Runo, honey, why didn't you say anything?" "I was afraid, but I finally did when I was 8. He tried to rape me and I screamed but he covered my mouth, Alanna came up the stairs and caught him before he could. Sandy came up there and called the police and my social worker at the time, Phil.

Phil helped me get his a*s taken to jail, I think he's still rotting in there." she said dazing off for a moment, remembering.

 

     "I hope some bald b***h makes him take it up the a*s for what he did to you. He deserves it." Johnny said smoking his cigarette. His face was red and puffy. He was trying to maintain composure. This was hard. She hadn't talked this candidly about it since they were in court almost 10 years ago.

 

     "So I was transferred to a group home in New York City, until a family was open to take me. I spent 2 years there and after a while they were running out of room, so they transferred a few of us to Houston. I got a new social worker, Pam and after six more months, the Davidson family took me in." She took a break to have a sip of her drink. "So how old were you then?" he asked her. "Almost 11."

 

     "So I moved in with the Davidson family, Eli and Kendall. They had a little foster boy Tommy, and a biological daughter Anna who was about 17. Until I was 13, I lived there very peacefully. It wasn't that bad. I mean it wasn't luxury like the Wellingtons, they didn't take me shopping but it wasn't abusive.

 

     Then they were taking Anna on a trip to California to look at colleges and they didn't want to take me and Tommy so they called Kendall's brother Tyler to come watch us. "Don't tell me..." Johnny said grimly.

 

     "Yeah...Tyler would wait until Tommy was asleep and he would take me into my bedroom and do the same stuff Ralph used to do but sadly he got away with...it. He raped me and he took my innocence and my purity. Johnny had his arm around her now and Runo felt comfort by that.

 

     "It felt like part of me was missing after he raped me. He got away with it the first time, but the second time I screamed. Poor little Tommy heard me and called the police. Tyler fled the scene but they took Tommy and I out of the Davidson household. She buried her face in her hands.

 

     "I just wish I could have lost my virginity with someone I loved, that loved me." She was trying so hard not to cry. Johnny took another cigarette. "Baby, that wasn't your first time. Your first time will be magical, an amazing experience. You can't let him rob you of it." She perked up. "Are you saying my first time can be with you?" "Well I hope so, we just need to take it one step at a time."

 

     "Can I ask one question?" Johnny asked quietly. "When did you start cutting?" They had never talked about this before. She racked her brain. How did he know about the razor? And then she remembered the day in the hospital, plus she had been wearing short sleeves lately. "I started using little things like safety pins and thumbtacks and just doing hairline scratches but I discovered razorblades when I moved in with the Winters, Brock and Marie Winters lived here in the DFW area. I moved in with them when I was 14. They had 2 biological daughters, Abigail and Natasha.

 

     I was so abused in their home. Not sexually but physically. I was neglected severely. They emptied out the cedar closet under the stairs and called it my bedroom. They kept a lock on the fridge and pantry for all 3 of us, they were really weight conscious. But if Natasha and Abigail asked for food they were usually given it. My food intake was restricted big time.

 

     Brock was a horrible alcoholic and he would hit me and I would sneak into Marie's bathroom and steal her foundation to cover up the bruises." Runo sighed. Johnny looked blank to her- Maybe this was too much for him to take in. Runo felt guilty but she had come this far she had to finish the story up but she had to check on him first. "Are you alright?" "I'm hanging in there. This is the most painful story I've ever heard.” "Brock and Marie were never sexual with me, just physical and I figured physical abuse was better than sexual. That's why I never said anything to anyone for 3 years. You saw me how withdrawn I was, I was a basket case before I went to the hospital."

 

     "My cutting got so bad after a while of using the razorblades that I taught myself how to sew my wounds back together with a needle and thread." She said sighing. That was a mouthful. "So that's what got you send to the psych ward. How did they catch you?" Runo almost laughed as the memory came into the picture of her and Abigail.

 

     "Abigail and I got in a physical fight over me getting blood on her dress on accident and she got pissed at me. I wasn't going to let a child beat me up so I fought back. I went to slap her and I split a freshly sewn wound open and passed out when she head-butted me. So I went to the hospital, and now here I am. And that is the life story of Runo Soikkeli." She said about to pass out from talking so much.

***********************************************************[JOHNNY]

     Johnny couldn't believe what he had just heard. Her story was simply a tragedy. He couldn't believe she had such a haunting story. It took every ounce of control he had in his body to not show his anger towards these sorry excuses for people. Runo was too good of a person to have gone through all that. Her story had brought him to tears.

 

     He wiped the tears from his eyes and took Runo's right arm and delicately kissed each scar that lined her arm. She didn't back away but looked a little puzzled. "I'm just letting you know today, that from this day forward you will never have to feel pain like this ever again." "Oh God, Johnny, I love you so much." He felt like that was the best thing he could have ever done for her to show the extent of his devotion.

 

     "Do you have to work today?" she asked him after a moment of silence had passed. "Nope. I was planning on spending the day with you." "Sounds good to me. But I am a little tired from having a sleepless night." "Do you want to go to my place and you can take a nap in Sylvia's bed?" "That sounds wonderful." Runo agreed with a smile.

 

     When they arrived at the apartment Johnny's dad was still asleep. It was not even 8:00 yet. Runo, although tired, still looked beautiful. He had never seen her in makeup but she did not need it. She was perfect in every way.

 

     She kicked off her converse while Johnny made Sylvia's bed back. It felt weird to be in her room. He really missed Sylvia. Maybe while Runo napped he could write her a letter. It was very difficult. Her therapist had told them it would still be a while before she would be considered stable to go home. Runo crawled in the bed and was asleep within the wink of an eye.

 

     Johnny tiptoed out of the bedroom and saw his father making coffee. "Morning. What were you doing in Sylvia's room?"  Michael asked his son with a yawn. "Oh Runo is tired, she didn't get much sleep last night." Johnny said realizing he was tired himself. "She was here all night?" Michael asked uncomfortably. Johnny knew what his father was thinking.

 

     "No, Dad. I took her home around midnight but she couldn't sleep and I picked her up around 6:45 this morning and we went to Starbucks. She wanted to come here and take a nap." "Alright, I'll try to keep quiet. I'm going to run some errands here in a little bit." Michael said sipping his coffee.

 

     Johnny poured himself a cup of coffee and went to his room to begin a surprise project for Runo. He was going to try to locate her parents in Finland. He wasn't going to say anything until he found something concrete. There was no point getting her hopes up for nothing. He sat down, took a sip of his coffee and went to google.

 

     He couldn't remember the last name for the life of him. He scanned his brain until the name finally came. Soikkeli. It was Soikkeli. He wasn't sure how to go about doing this. He typed in the name and tons of things popped up, most of them in Finnish. Then he saw one in English.

 

     Aleski Soikkeli, a lawyer in New York City. He figured that would be his only hope of getting any information. If this Aleski Soikkeli lived here he had to speak English, and didn't he have a chance at knowing who Runo was? He did more research on this Aleski and he was married to an American woman named Shelby. Could this be Runo's father remarried? She had come originally from a foster home in New York City! This had to mean something.

 

     He looked at the clock on his iPhone. It was 8:32 AM here and New York was 9:32 AM. This would be an appropriate time as any. But he didn't want to do it while Runo was there. He wanted to wait until he was alone and had a final conclusion who her parents really were. He made a mental note of the name Aleski and Shelby Soikkeli and grabbed his poetry notebook and went to check on Runo.

 

     She looked so peaceful sleeping. A poem came to his head as he watched her breaths circulate.

 

"The Sleeping Angel*

 

Breaths cycle in and out

How my luck filled in so well

To be blessed with a sleeping angel

Wondering how such innocence was corrupted

Against her very will

How I long to vanish the pain she feels

And repave with memories of passion

She is my everlasting

She is my eternal

Remembering the first moment

My heart felt love

Remembering the journey

We have walked

Hand in hand, each step

I want to runaway with you

I long to close my eyes

And we fade into this world

Of creativity and love

And I am still dreaming of our first kiss

Which shall be a symphony"

 

     He got up to walk out and then he turned around and gave her a soft kiss on the forehead and turned to walk out of the room.

*********************************************************

[SYLVIA]

     When Sylvia was woken up at 5:30 she was exhausted but satisfied. She and Travis had made out for about an hour. She grinned as she thought of his hands caressing her on the couch. He made her swear up and down 3 times that she wouldn't say a word to anyone. She made him do the same and he was like: "Are you crazy?!" she had snickered quietly.

 

     He had even touched her b***s when she was laying on top of him! She felt jumpy inside as she lay in bed remembering. The girls here needed heavy drugs to feel good, all she needed was a little physical attention from an older man and she was set.

 

     She had crawled back into bed around 4:45 AM, so she really only got about 45 minutes of sleep...it was worth it though. She couldn't wait until the next time Travis worked. This had to become a tradition! She laughed as she brushed her teeth and got ready for P.E. The most beautiful part was that nobody knew and nobody ever would.

 

     Today would be an easy day, just Nevaeh's graduation. After they had done P.E., had breakfast and done their chores Nevaeh's parents arrived and they got ready for her ceremony. Neveah was one of the first people to be nice to Sylvia when she had first arrived and Sylvia was really going to miss her.

 

     Sylvia could barely concentrate in Nevaeh's ceremony, all she could think about was the next time she would see Travis again and the fun that they would have. She almost felt a bit devious but she enjoyed that feeling. The graduation seemed a bit cheesy to Sylvia. It was definitely something she could live without. Suddenly the little bit of the program that used to matter was erased.

 

     The only thing she wanted anymore was to escape this place and be released back into society with alcohol and men. She had a few weeks until she was eligible for Level 4 and then she could go on a home visit and really have a good talk with her father about pulling her out for good. Parent Weekend was coming up soon but she didn't know if Johnny would be there or not.

 

     She knew her brother was busy with his girl but she hoped that as soon as the high of being with Runo wore off he would come around. Johnny had never been in love before so it would just take a little time for it to cool off and things would be back to normal again...wouldn't they?

***********************************************************

[RUNO]

     The kiss from Johnny on her forehead made her stir. Suddenly she wanted more from him. "Wait." she whispered. "Come back." "What's wrong, angel?" he asked concerned. He was so perfect. "I want another kiss." she said softly. Runo was so embarrassed. She had never tried to be flirtatious before. She was completely oblivious what to do.

 

     "Runo, I'm not going to kiss you right now not right after you told me your painful story and it's stirring around fresh inside your head." She frowned. "But Johnny I actually think bringing it to the surface helped me. I'm not afraid anymore Johnny. I'm ready to share my real first kiss with you, I'm ready to erase all of my painful memories with good ones. I want you to make it right, please." She watched Johnny reconsider and walk toward her.

        

    She sat up in Sylvia's bed and whispered a quick "i love you so much" "I love you too, baby and I don't want to make you uncomfortable or scared by doing this." Runo thought about it for a second. She had never been so compelled to do something in her life. She was ready to pave over her memories with happy ones and have a beautiful life with Johnny.

 

     Her heart was galloping. She scooted over in Sylvia's bed and let Johnny sit down. She looked straight into his chocolate brown eyes and he slowly moved in and touched her lips gently with his own.

 

     As both of their mouths fell open and everything just fell into place she was worried she was doing a terrible job but she pushed those fears aside and enjoyed her true first kiss. A kiss of passion and a kiss of faith. She had her hands on her lap but the passion encompassed her and she wrapped her arm around him.

 

     So this was what making out was all about? She felt his hand on her bare leg, because she was wearing a skirt, but she didn't feel uncomfortable. This felt so pure and real. She would have thoughts of the painful past but would shun them away. This moment solely belonged to her and Johnny. Nobody else.

 

     It went on for a minute or two and the only sound came from their breathing. Johnny was so careful and gentle with her, she didn't understand how a woman could date a man who wasn't like him. Slowly he pulled away and whispered "Was that alright?"

 

     "Alright?" she asked with a huge smile creeping onto her face, "That was seriously the most amazing moment of my life." "That feeling is mutual." Johnny said "I've never really had an intimate relationship before either. I've kissed a few girls here and there but that's it." Runo couldn't believe that. She started laughing and said: "No way Johnny. Tell me the truth, it was the worst kiss of your life..."

 

     He wasn't laughing at all. He wasn't even smiling. "Runo, I'm not kidding. That was beautiful. And yes I am a..." he hesitated for a second and took a deep breath "I'm a virgin. I know it sounds crazy because I'm an 18-year-old guy. But I have saved myself for the right person, who I believe is you." He said brushing a strand of her hair from her face.

 

     Her heart skipped a beat or two. "God, I love you Johnny." She threw her arms around him and they kissed with the same passion all over again.

***********************************************************

[JOHNNY]

     His lips still tingled from Runo's kiss as she got out of the car to go home. They had made out on and off all day. She had gotten startled a few times which was obviously her struggle with the memories, but they would pass.

 

     He had never shared a kiss from any girl with such passion before, with such warmth and desire. Even with his only semi serious relationship with Christa, nothing they shared compared to the day he had shared with Runo. He felt so many emotions all at once. He could hardly drive home. Runo's lips were so tantalizing and her kiss was vehement, she smelled like a mixture of apples and honey. He'd had his hand on her flat stomach at one point and for a second he thought of feeling her breasts but he didn't want to push her too far.

 

     He never wanted to push her over the edge no matter what the circumstances were. She was too beautiful to hurt in any way, shape or form.

 

     When Johnny got home he switched on his laptop. He had a cup of coffee and he was on a mission to locate Runo's parents. He was going to do it tonight. After that miraculous day they had shared (their day of passion) his heart was fueled to create the impossible for her. He was going to find her family.

 

     He googled the name he had pulled up earlier, Aleski Soikkeli and up came a page with information and a phone number. The only problem was it was 3:36 AM in New York City. He figured he would have to wait until morning to call. He knew he needed to write a poem about this day with Runo. It was too amazing of a day not to.

 

     Johnny grabbed his poetry notebook and eloquently wrote about his experience.

 

"Apples and Honey*

 

Skin as smooth as silk

My heart stopped ticking

Just for a moment

While I in took all of you

Your honey-apple scent

Interlaced with a fire of passion

I never believed in love like this

Never believed in fate

Until our eyes met

Until our lips locked

Until I caressed your beautiful face

Time and time again

I'll relive it countlessly

For I found forever in your smile

And eternity in your delicate touch

Lying side by side

Locked in dreams and fantasies

And all we ever create

Longing for more,

Breathless and stunned

Finding peace and tranquility

In your flowing breaths

As my hand lay on your stomach

The taste of your kiss

Quenches my thirst

And now we are truly living

The love of a lifetime"

 

     Johnny fell asleep right after he wrote the poem. He didn't realize how tired he was since he had stayed up all night the night before and had not gone to sleep this night until 3:00 AM.

 

     He didn't wake up until around 10:30 AM and he still felt a little tired and groggy. Then he remembered he had to call the Finnish lawyer in New York.

 

     He dialed the New York number, he had no idea what to say when the secretary answered. He asked if Aleski was available and she said he was at lunch and asked if she could take a message. He just winged it and said he might have important information about one of his family members and to please call at his earliest convenience. He hoped that sounded professional enough.

 

     Johnny also hoped that he was doing the right thing. He hoped Runo wouldn't be offended if he did this without her knowing. Suddenly just the thought of her made him want to see her but he knew they had been spending an awful lot of time together, so he decided to let her call him.

 

     He went out to visit with his father. Between both of their work schedules and Runo they hadn't spent much father-son time together. Johnny knew that if anyone could give him advice about this finding Runo's parents s**t, his dad definitely could. "Hey stranger..." Michael said to his son as Johnny staggered into the living room. "Dad, I need some fatherly advice." "Okay wait, you're not popping the question are you?" Michael asked looking up from his cereal bowl.

 

     Johnny laughed. "Not yet. I've been considering it here and there. But I told you Runo has been in foster care since she was 3, right?" Michael nodded. "Well, I think I found her father." "What do you mean? How?" "Well I found a Finnish lawyer with the same last name and he is in New York City!" "What does New York have anything to do with it?"

 

     "Her first foster home was in New York. But do you think she is gonna get mad that I am doing this behind her back? I'm trying to make it a surprise for her." "I don't think she will get mad, you're trying to do something nice for her." Michael said confidently. "To me it sounds like you are doing Runo a huge favor. Imagine going your whole life and not knowing any of your family and not knowing a damn thing about your past-that would be horrible."

 

     That reassured Johnny big time. He realized he had to work in an hour and he hoped Aleski would call soon. He stared down at his iphone, no calls. He was on the patio chain smoking. About 30 minutes passed and then finally a call came through with an NYC area code. He panicked and then picked up the phone.

 

     "Hello?" His heart was beating a zillion miles an hour. "Yes, I'm trying to reach a Johnny Blackwell." "This is he." Johnny said not sure what was going to happen next. His accent was thick, Runo didn't have an accent at all compared to Aleski Soikkeli. He ended up being very rude and confrontational at first. "This is Aleski Soikkeli and I just want to know who the hell you are, and what the f**k you know about my family?!"

 

     Johnny hadn't expected to deal with anger. "Calm down please, sir." Johnny said timidly. "I just have one question." "You have 3 minutes..." Aleski said in a non interested tone. "Okay. Do you have or do you know anyone who has any relation to a 17-year-old girl named Runo Soikkeli?" Then Aleski fell silent. "Sir?" Johnny asked. "That would be my niece."

***********************************************************

[SYLVIA]

     Sylvia was so confused when one of the staff passing out mail handed her a letter from her mother! She hadn't heard from her mom in months, since they had left San Antonio. It read:

 

Dearest Sylvia,

I know we have had a rough time but I wanted to write you because your father told me you are in a treatment center for your suicide attempt that no one bothered to tell me about. I just want you to know that even though we're not really on speaking terms, you will always be my daughter. Please don't ever hesitate to call me if you ever need a shoulder to cry on. Even though nobody believes me, I have changed the best I know how.

 

Love Always,

Samantha- Your mom

     What the f**k? Sylvia thought and shed a tear as she reread the letter. It was so simple, so few words yet it said so much. She had hardly cared about her or Johnny in years, her pills and alcohol had always taken priority. She needed to talk to Johnny, ASAP.

 

     She had the right on Level 3 to change her social calls if it didn't interfere with the schedule. The staff told her it was okay, so she dialed Johnny's cell. He'd been really bad about answering lately, but hopefully he would answer this call.

 

     "Hey Sis." he said, she could tell he was smoking. She was trying so hard not to cry. "Did you get a letter from Mom?" He fell silent. "No...did you?" She let her tears fall. "Yes I did and she was just really blunt trying to make me feel guilty and confused and...Oh, Johnny what do I do?" she couldn't hold back her tears anymore but she hated crying in front of Johnny, even though she was older now, she still looked up to him like always.

 

     "Don't talk to her. She's not going to change. Think of everything she put us through. Do you really want to get mixed up in her drama?? She's so gone emotionally. We don't know if she is sober or not. She's probably just trying to f**k with you. I know that Dad has done more for us than she could ever do." "Okay thanks. Oh yeah, how are you and Runo?"

 

     He perked up. "We're absolutely fantastic. She's the most wonderful thing to ever happen to me. She has changed my life. We had our first kiss, it was like a symphony-that's how beautiful it was. I also found her uncle in New York and he gave me a contact to her parents. I'm going to surprise her with it soon." "Oh I am so happy for you." Sylvia said with tears still streaming down her cheeks.

 

     They talked a little longer and as soon as they got off the phone Sylvia couldn't help feeling a little envious for a moment about Runo and Johnny's relationship. She wondered if she could ever have a guy care about her the way Johnny cared about Runo. She pushed the thoughts away and told herself that love was just a joke and a game and that it would leave you hurt and broken. She told herself that no strings attached relationships were the only way to go.

***********************************************************

[RUNO]

     Johnny left her breathless the day before. Runo couldn't believe they had made out several times and the memories of Ralph and Tyler forcefully kissing her only crept up a couple of times. But she wasn't letting it get her in a state of panic and her anxiety didn't get the better of her. She had enjoyed every minute of this sheer utopia she had shared with Johnny that magical day.

 

     She could taste his kiss, still feel his breath on her. She was surprised that his hand on her bare stomach didn't bother her. Nothing made her uncomfortable with him anymore. She loved that she was given this chance to recreate all of her physical firsts with someone as gentle and nurturing as Johnny.

 

     She knew she wouldn't ever be this comfortable with any other man besides Johnny. She even caught herself imagining getting married which she knew was a little silly of her. She was reading through her books of poetry that Cynthia and Gavin had bought her at the book store. They were really becoming the mom and dad she never had. She really had come to love them, not just because they bought her stuff...that was great. But it was because they showed her love back.

 

     She got The Sonnets of Shakespeare, and the complete works of Dylan Thomas, E.E. Cummings, and T.S. Elliot. She looked for Finnish poetry but they didn't have anything which was disappointing. She was trying to pick out a poem to read to Johnny and memorize it, and E.E. Cummings was definitely Johnny’s favorite poet of all time, and finally she found one that caught her eye.

 

"i love you much(most beautiful darling)

 

more than anyone on the earth and i

like you better than everything in the sky

 

-sunlight and singing welcome your coming

 

although winter may be everywhere

with such a silence and such a darkness

noone can quite begin to guess

 

(except my life)the true time of year-

 

and if what calls itself a world should have

the luck to hear such singing(or glimpse such

sunlight as will leap higher than high

through gayer than gayest someone's heart at your each

 

nearness)everyone certainly would(my

most beautiful darling)believe in nothing but love"

 

     E.E. Cummings was astounding. She sighed as she studied the poem. She was going to read it and quote it to Johnny when he got off work. Just thinking about him made her want to be with him even more. Even though they had only been apart several hours, it seemed like years. She knew she needed to write a poem about her first kiss:

 

"An Ode To That Kiss

 

Sweet lips connecting to my own

Creating a surreal moment of sure knowingness

Your arms wrapped around me

I allowed you in and have no regrets

All that is mine is pure joy

In the highest of high

All I have are tantalizing memories

Of our blissful existence

Soft hands caress my skin

I am safe and sound

Nothing can erase the ecstasy we possess

You call my name- and I look back at you

With nothing but longing

For you are my treasure and my talisman

And you are my purity

I am loving you like a jewel

Encrusted in the earth

We sing in glory- We cry tears of joy

For we are truly sanctified

In this kingdom of eros

Our love is as intricate

As the lines in our palms

For once again you have left me breathless and gasping

Only to beg for more

 

Dear Sisko,  June 4

     OMG yesterday Johnny and I made out and no, I didn't freak on him. I allowed him in and now there is no going back. What we have created is more beautiful than any poem or painting or crow I have ever seen. I never dreamed I would experience true love. The only thing I'm a little nervous about is once we get a little more intimate- I want to but how will I explain the fresh cuts on my hip? I know he will freak out. I only did it because I thought I hurt him the other night but this will hurt him even more. Hopefully it heals up before then. I don't want him to see it. Knowing Johnny he would think it was his fault. He has done nothing but make life beautiful and I adore him with everything I have. There is no one else in the world I would want to spend the rest of my life with. I'm not saying I'm ready to get married right away but if everything keeps going like this I would marry him in an instant. I guess I need to slow down and take one day at a time it's just so special what Johnny and I have. Sigh. He's working till 9:30 tonight, then he's picking me up. What will I do till then? I'm going to try and memorize that poem by E.E. Cummings.

 

Rakastan sinua,

RUNO

 

     The day dragged on and on until Johnny arrived to pick her up. She got in the car and she greeted him with a soft kiss. Then he said: "Babe, I have a surprise for you. Let's go the park and sit and I'll tell you." Her heart was racing. What could the surprise be? She pondered as they drove to the park.

 

     They went over and sat on the swings and sat and he said: "Does the name Aleski ring a bell?" Runo searched her brain through all the people that she had met in foster care. Nobody by that name came to mind. "Nope." she said with caution in her voice, kicking the gravel underneath the swing. "He's your uncle and he's given me a contact number to your parents!" Runo didn't know what to say but she was shocked. She was so shocked that she fainted right there on the swing.

***********************************************************

[JOHNNY]

     He knew Runo would be excited and shocked but he didn't think she would faint. She had face planted right into the gravel, she had a few scrapes on her face but she wasn't gushing blood. Johnny was freaking out trying to decide if he should call an ambulance. While he tried to figure out what to do He thought of Sylvia and her Parent Weekend coming up and he knew he could not part with Runo for that long. Even though it was only 3 days that was still too long to be away from the girl he loved.

 

     He suddenly felt really guilty. Had he done the wrong thing to Runo? He hadn't had a chance to tell her that he had gotten her parents number from Aleski. Aleski was stunned to even hear Runo's name. Aleski had explained the whole story to Johnny.

 

     Kukka and Jalo Soikkeli were still in Helsinki, Finland's capital. They were very young when Runo was born. Kukka was only 14 and Jalo was 17. They had both dropped out of high school to be part of the art and music scene in Helsinki before Kukka got pregnant.

 

     According to Aleski, Runo was their pride and joy. Simply, they were just too young to handle the complexities of parenthood and the responsibility of Runo. Kukka and Jalo showed up on Aleski (Jalo's brother) and his American wife Shelby's doorstep in New York and surprisingly asked them if they would adopt Runo. Jalo and Kukka didn't even call to prepare them. Their reason was that they just didn't feel like they could emotionally handle the responsibility of parenting. They hated to give her up, but they wanted what was best for her.

 

     Aleski and Shelby agreed knowing they couldn't turn down precious Runo. Shelby was 18 and Aleski was 19, and soon, they too felt they were not ready for the responsibility of a child. Aleski said they tried so hard to take on the responsibility of a 2-year-old for a year and they ran out of options. They had no family members that could take her, so they resorted to foster care and asked that for Runo's best interest they keep her last name and history a secret from her. The only thing they told her was that she was born in Finland, to let her at least know a little about her history.

     For a moment Johnny was angry at all of them: Kukka, Jalo, Aleski and Shelby. Because of them, Runo'd had the toughest life out of anyone he had ever met. But when he thought about it deeper he realized that if it wasn't for all of them deciding to give Runo up, Johnny would have never met her, and that, in itself, would be a tragedy.

 

     After he shook her a few times Runo awakened from her fainting spell. "Are you alright?" Johnny asked giving her a tight hug breathing in the smell of apples and honey that she had. "Yeah...I think so." she said scratching her head. "Did you say you know who and where my parents are?" she said with the look like a deer in headlights. "Yes, Runo. Are you mad at me?" He suddenly was afraid he had hurt her.

 

     "No...I'm not...I'm just in shock." she stammered, he leaned in and kissed her. They kissed passionately underneath the night sky in the gravel by the swings at the park. "Please, tell me about them!" she said eagerly. "Their names are Kukka and Jalo."Johnny said giving thanks he hadn't hurt her feelings. "That would be Flower and Noble, translated into English." she said taking the information in.

 

     "Hey, you never told me what Runo means!" Johnny said sadly. "Guess." she said playfully. She was so beautiful with that coy grin on her face. "You won't believe me. I can't believe you never asked before! Runo means poem." "You're serious?" Johnny asked in shock. She had left him breathless once again. Her own name sake was the very thing that had brought them together. "Yep! Johnny I..." he interrupted her with a kiss.

 

     His hand wrapped around her and rested on her stomach once again. He slid his hand up her black tank top just a little bit. She didn't stop him. His breathing was getting so heavy, he tried to slow himself down. She was so luscious and tempting. Then she put her hand under his shirt and onto his bare chest. Her hand felt warm and welcomed.

 

     He couldn't help himself at this point. He slid his hand all the way up her tank top and cupped her perfect breasts with his hand. She was absolutely stunning. He felt her jump so he stopped immediately. "Did I scare you? Are you okay?" Damn it, Johnny! he thought to himself. Control your hormones! “You're fine, Johnny. I'm fine. I've just never felt anything like this in my entire life." "The past memories aren't bothering you?" He hated to even bring it up.

 

     "No, not at all." she said seeming eager for more. "I'm ready, Johnny. I really am." What was she saying? He thought he knew but he wanted to double check. "Are you saying???" "Yes, I want us to become one. You're everything to me. You found my parents too! Make love to me Johnny." He wanted to. He wanted to so bad. But not here. Not in this park where anyone could just walk by and see them. He wanted to have a beautiful first time for her and himself as well.

 

     "Not here." he said trying to breathe in between kisses. "You're right. I feel stupid." "Don't feel stupid. You're never stupid." he said kissing her neck. "Do you want to hear the rest of the story about your mysterious parents?" he asked her softly. "Oh yes! Haha you distracted me! Thanks!" she said, her laughter ringing throughout the vicinity.

 

     Then Runo quoted an E.E. Cummings poem, from start to finish. It started with "i love you much(most beautiful darling)more than anyone on the earth and i like you better than everything in the sky" and she finished quoting the entire poem and said: "I love you much(most beautiful darling)” and she smiled that arresting smile that could raise the sun. They both laughed and shared one more passionate kiss before Johnny told the rest of the story.

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[SYLVIA]

     Finally it was a night that Travis was working graveyard shift. She had thought about it all day long. She had finally emotionally recovered from her mother's letter. After she had spoken to her brother about it, she talked to her dad and he said he was sorry for giving her the address but Samantha always had a way of "making him do crazy, wrong things" so he said. Sylvia asked her dad if Johnny would be coming with him at the end of the month to parent weekend. He hesitated and said he wasn't sure if he would want to be away from Runo that long but he would talk to him.

 

     This infuriated her. He couldn't part with Runo for one weekend? She suppressed her anger and ignored the pain of being rejected by the one person she looked up to more than anyone. Her father advised her not to talk to her crazy mother. After she got the third suggestion not to talk to her from Dr. Allen she ripped the letter to shreds with her address and phone numbers on it and threw it in the trash can.

 

     She had felt guilty for some reason but she knew her mother wouldn't be a good choice to be in her life and if 3 important people were suggesting against it that had to mean something. She knew Johnny would change his mind as it got closer. In a few weeks she would be going up for Level 4 and going on a home visit. She hoped Ryan would remember her and that she could get fucked up with him again.

 

     She wanted out of this program so bad. Alexis and her had sort of drifted apart because a new girl named April had come and she was a cutter like Alexis so they had more things in common to talk about.

 

     Sylvia didn't care if she was off by herself. This place didn't mean s**t to her and neither did the people...with the exception of Travis of course. But she didn't love Travis, she only wanted him as a make out buddy. She just wanted to be promiscuous with him, same thing with Ryan.

 

     Then it hit Sylvia. She truly did not know what love was in any way, shape or form. And for a moment in time it bothered her but as soon as she saw Travis sit down on the couch she didn't give a f**k anymore.

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[RUNO]

     Runo was in complete shock when she found out it was her aunt and uncle, not her parents who had put her in foster care. Johnny had told her everything, the whole story called her past. Her parents spoke pretty good English which was comforting because Runo was not fluent in Finnish whatsoever. The most exciting part was that Aleski had decided he would pay for the air and hotel for them to go to Helsinki for 10 days to meet her parents!

 

     Runo was both nervous and excited to go. She didn't feel right just bombarding their lives and showing up after almost 16 years. But most of all she didn't want to upset Cynthia and Gavin.

 

     She couldn't believe she had told Johnny she wanted him to make love to her, and she was embarrassed that she had picked such bad timing since they were in a park. Johnny had good judgment, she was impulsive she decided as she made back her bed to go to sleep. She suddenly wanted to spend the entire night with Johnny when they had sex. She knew once it happened she would be very attached, even more than she already was, and she wouldn't want to be away from him.

 

     She had always dreamed of her first time (excluding how Tyler had stolen it from her) making sweet passionate love and then spending the night together. She had quoted the E.E. Cummings poem to Johnny and he had loved it. Poetry was the most sacred thing to them. She told Johnny about her desire to spend the night and he said he would do everything in his power to make her fantasy a reality.

Johnny had talked to Sylvia and found out that their mother had contacted Sylvia and it had really upset her. Runo did not know that much about Samantha, their mother but what she did know wasn't good.

 

     What she was really worried about now was the trip to Finland. How would she tell Cynthia and Gavin when they had been so good to her? But what did she have to be guilty of? All she was doing was going to answer some questions that had been tormenting her and to see her homeland, Helsinki, Finland. Besides, her 18th birthday was a month away and they probably weren't planning on letting her stay there, they would probably adopt a baby and she would have to figure out where she would live, and get a job. Sometimes in the back of her mind she hoped her and Johnny could move in together soon. But she never said anything.

 

     Johnny had told Runo that he promised they would have sex before they went to Finland on the 13th. Runo had a lot to look forward to. She thought of Johnny's hands gliding over her body and how perfect it felt and how delicate and careful he was when he touched her breasts, so unlike the men who had tortured her in the past. What Johnny had done had felt so right.

 

     She felt love in the maximum form. She didn't know it was possible to feel this way. She didn't know feelings this good could exist, at least in her life after living a life full of disappointment and heartache.

 

      The last thing Runo expected was to find peace and harmony. Johnny had saved her life. And now he had found her parents. Things were just going to keep getting better. Runo sighed in solace as she crawled into bed.

Author's Note

RUNO + JOHNNY = LOVE <3