Cope

It's easier to never take the blame.

He created a problem,
So that he could cope.
Made her the monster, so he could let go.
It's easier to look at the sickness of someone else.
Than to place the blame.
And face the reality of the monster you became.

He sat there lying.
Lying and blaming.
In hopes the pain would stop.
Someday? He prayed.
Did it?

He waited.
Hating,
Regretting,
Blaming.

In hope the world would calm his fear,
That the pain and truth would fade away.
That all that he had lived and cared would be a distant memory.

But as he sat there stewing on her messed up fate,
The world for him turned to grey.
He saw his fear,
He caught his pain.
But too afraid to place self blame.

He fled and found another,
One to calm his fears at night.
To tell him all his fears were lies.
So that he could once again live in the fantasy,
While the monster kept growing in the dark.
Waiting for her to make a mistake.
So he could hide his shame.
So he could cope and live the lies Away.
Away from what he truly was.
What he knew,
He could become.

Reviews

[Hello, Goodbye]

Regret leading to defensiveness, and ending in deflection. Applying it to self, I see too much truth in this, despite wishing that I wouldn't. That irrational compulsion to impulsively blame everyone but one self. Its a vicious cycle of verbal violence that leads to nothing but futility and regret. I may be giving it unintended application. However I read a dysphoric story all throughout the narrative.