Butterfly

Can you figure it out?

Butterfly, Butterfly, wings so strong,
open and close without a sound.
Butterfly, butterfly, mouth delicate and thin
Can barely feel it when it goes in.
Butterfly, butterfly it's been too long;
Let your blood wash the blade of my Balisong.

Author's Note

Two minute write. What do you think?

Reviews

[Jock Engelman]

You say this took two minutes to write?
I think that it is amazing.

The only judgement that i could make is that the first two lines do not fit the rhyming scheme. This however is a very small thought.

I am still picturing the imagery that you presented before me despite the fact that I have finished reading your piece.

(I give a rating of 95/100 for this piece.)

[Alex Vidmar]

Thank you, I appreciate your input and will consider it the next poem I write. I have a story on here, Snow Angels, that I'd like some input on. Would you mind reviewing it, at your own convenience, of course.

[Jock Engelman]

I shall. Assuming that you could also review some of more recent work to your own convenience

[Alex Vidmar]

Sure, Jock. I will.

[Alexa Tasch]

Very impressive for a two minute write! Its very pretty!

[R.A. Youngblood]

Two minutes?! Well, that's so freaking awesome! Butterly knife..interesting. First two lines are not rhyming, but it's still amazing. Thanks for sharing, dude. :D

[quixotic_rose]

pretty good for a 2 minute write!! The non-rhyming of the first two lines makes me kinda want to go grr, just because the rhythm gets thrown off, but otherwise trying nicely done! Also, I love butterflies, so sweetttt!

[Alex Vidmar]

Well, Frieda P put it best. Cutting. A balisong is a butterfly knife.

[Frieda P]

'Cutting' piece of poetry, and clever too.

[K-mo]

Wow! This is such a wonderful piece, short simple yet powerful! Love it!!!

[TL Boehm]

a deep poem - darkly written even though its on the surface carried on a butterfly

[MandaBear]

I don't know that I can figure it out but I can say I love butterflies so very much! Well done

[Alex Vidmar]

Well, a Balisong is a butterfly knife

[joshua deathdealer]

Well I like butterflies and metaphorical poems. This works well.

[Alex Vidmar]

Thank you. Appreciate it.