Chapter Five, Alchemy Sounded Good At The Time

Chapter Five, Alchemy Sounded Good At The Time

A Chapter by Thomas Reilly Thornhill
"

Nero's adventure into the mind of a madman.

"

Chapter Five

Alchemy sounded good at the time

 

During the months, weeks and days subsequent to my arrival at what was the closest thing to a home resting in my memory, I became close to the Apprentice. He came to confide in me trivialities he deemed unworthy to concern the great mind of the Alchemist with. Our relationship refrained from adhering to cliché. We did not indulge in father son pretence. Neither he nor I held superiority over the other. He was young but possessed wisdom that far surpassed his age.


His intelligence matched my own but his knowledge spread over different fields of academia and vocation. It felt good finally having another I could consider a friend and trust. I would without a doubt have trusted the Alchemist with my very soul but his faceless demure did render him sadly impossible to relate to. His was the kindest of souls I had ever come across baring a stark contrast to my own wretched excuse for one. Although maybe his glowed not virgin purity but with redemption and he was passing on to me a forgiveness from the world he had once received himself. Could one really repent for such crimes? Could the heavens truly remorse for someone guilty of these heinous acts of mortal misconduct?


I would have to seek an audience with the Gods or consultation with the next best thing for answers to these questions but there was no hurry. My impending disappointment from answers I knew could wait for now. Besides, at this moment I was met with a conundrum. The Apprentice had become the Journeyman and as such it was his time to part ways with the Alchemist and had asked that I accompany him for even but a short while on his travels.


It saddened me the thought of parting with the Alchemist, whom I admired greatly and had taught me much about myself. Never before our meeting had I questioned my conflicting scientific and religious beliefs. I flirted with the intimidating idea of reshaping them both to create the same harmony between them attained by the Alchemist. My apprehension however did not merely lie in the possibility of losing my teacher but in becoming caught up in the Journeyman’s affairs as he had a personal vendetta to settle.


In the end, reassessing the situation, I concluded this may be my path to reconciling with my humanity, restoring an inner karmic balance through helping another. My next step in becoming something fit to even worship my Goddess. Without a goodbye, for it was not the Alchemists way, the Journeyman and I began our travels together.


We marched boldly during the bright hours of the day and made our small mark on the map with a quaint camp-site by night. My conversations with the Journeyman became easier to conduct now that he was not drenched in silence, although it was still a common occurrence for us to be communicating through signs or written literature, most occasions we felt speech was stressed and that the pervading stillness in sound was relaxing and gave us the opportunity to listen. On one fateful evening I had decided to confess my crimes.


As I hadn’t spoken of such things in such a long period of time it felt alien. I was not, unlike my former self, accustomed to the gruesome images that flashed before my eyes upon recital of such memories. Tears filled my eyes and my voice was shaking. An immortal touch of grief washed over me once more and what happened next I was unready for.


I stood tall, high above my new subject, and stared down at the ghastly figure. There was a look of confusion behind his controlled face, I could feel his fear. My lips were drying and the taste of blood was becoming ever more tempting. The masked emotions of my true nature were beginning to crack.


There was no way on earth that, if my actions had surprised me, that I did not surprise the faint image of the man beneath me. At that moment, with the chaos in my mind, I unsheathed the blade that the Alchemist had so trustfully gifted me and brought it high above my head. I made it clear to my quarry, that my insecurities had engulfed me and that the boy I stood above was to spoil my trophies on arrival to the town. With enough said I mercilessly brought my arm down heavily, the blade gripped tightly in my fist, and struck the Apprentice.


The force of the blow ushered me a few paces backwards, to a point where I could see the carnage I had caused once more. I stood puzzled as I am faced with a man holding my dagger, I had missed my mark. The energy and effort applied had worn me out and initial confusion had drained my bloodlust dry. My insanity was surely going to be the death of me, and I could not bring myself to hold my body up, I fell to my makeshift bedding and once again life seemed to fade away  leaving me in the realm of my shattered mind.



© 2012 Thomas Reilly Thornhill


Author's Note

Thomas Reilly Thornhill
Another chapter that my Friend and I spewed out from our minds, Let me know what you think... and obviously if there are any problems with it :)

My Review

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Reviews

Fascinating twist, I was not expecting such a thing to happen at all. Similar to Knight in Armor, I got confused with the ending scene. Nonetheless, an excellent addition to Nero's Decay.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Thomas Reilly Thornhill

11 Years Ago

Thank you
The ending of this chapter is a bit confusing. Nero going from guilt while confessing his crimes to deciding to kill the Apprentice to someone else entirely having his dagger causes it to be a rather confusing scene, with little explanation.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Thomas Reilly Thornhill

11 Years Ago

The Apprentice is the guy holding his knife... :D
Knight in Armor

11 Years Ago

Oh, my apologies. The Apprentice being called a man confused me, since he'd mostly been referred to .. read more
Thomas Reilly Thornhill

11 Years Ago

Fair enough, we changed the description of him to convey neros change in personality
This was really fast moving: Indeed, an amazing tale full of twists and turns, making one wonder what will happen next. Truly a well-crafted story that had me fascinated, right to the end. While there has been a lot of discussion about the absence of dialogue, questions are asked and sometimes answers are given, so this is quite a different approach. Want to read it again tomorrow :)
Looking forward to reading more,
Lizbeth


Posted 11 Years Ago


(ugh I have to write this review for the 3rd time now because my laptop is being so stupid)

Oh, madmen are just so entertaining!

Anyway, I love the writing style. I actually just have realized there is no dialogue, but that is just dandy (especially because this story seems to go just fine without it)! Whenever I read this I feel like I am reading something written in the 1800s, your use of vocabulary and sentence structure mostly is what makes it feel that way. it is unique nowadays, something I don't really get to see even in "adult" books.
I did not notice any mistakes, and I am perpetually hooked with the book. I hope you and your friend never give up writing this!

Posted 11 Years Ago


Thomas Reilly Thornhill

11 Years Ago

Haha thank you it's what we were aiming for :)
Interesting. A twist in the friendship of the two. Reading on....

Posted 11 Years Ago


His was the kindest of souls I had ever come across baring a stark contrast to my own wretched excuse for one.
I really like this line. It seems as if he hates himself, and kind of gives us insight into his mind. I like your style of writing, even though i was wary of having no dialogue. You make it work really well.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Thomas Reilly Thornhill

11 Years Ago

Thank you :) I'm really glad to hear that as it is now rather unconventional to write without dialog.. read more
I do enjoy the way you write a lot. Your sentences are long, but I have read great writers that enjoy long sentences so I wouldn't propose a change. Everyone has a specific style and I think yours is a very good one...

This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


Thomas Reilly Thornhill

11 Years Ago

Thank you :) I definitely enjoy writing like this :)
This has a more than competent opening. A good sketching out of characters, hints of the oncoming interaction, a nicely executed intro of the secondary character. There are noteworthy and creative turns of phrases; 'he was not drenched in silence' is a good example.
The style presents as ornate and richly textured by the afore mentioned phrasing. Thus, much shorter paragraphs, four sentences at a max I'd say, will let the writing flow more easily to the reader's eye.
I like this one a lot.


This review was written for a previous version of this writing

Posted 11 Years Ago


Thomas Reilly Thornhill

11 Years Ago

Thank you for your insight :)

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Added on July 22, 2012
Last Updated on July 23, 2012
Tags: Friendship, loss, love, memory, nero, help


Author

Thomas Reilly Thornhill
Thomas Reilly Thornhill

Glasgow, strathclyde, United Kingdom



About
I suffer from a multiple personality disorder. It had been a major setback most of my younger life but Ive found that I enjoy collaborating my writing with my other me´s. Ive been told its actua.. more..

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