Numb

Song-fic kinda story... I left the lyrics in because well, it echoes the song in a way. Lyrics are of Linkin Park's Numb.

I’m tired of being what you want me to be,

Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface,

Don’t know what you’re expecting of me,

Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes,

Every step that I take is another mistake to you…

Storm-drenched, he sneaks in silently. Slinking silently up the stairs, he slips his heavily sodden sweater from his slim shoulders.  His sea-blue eyes " rimmed with water- and tear-smudged eyeliner " barely seeing the steps in front of him, he shuffles into his room. Dropping his dripping sweater on the floor, he silently latches and locks his door.

 

I've become so numb I can't feel you there,
Become so tired, so much more aware,
I'm becoming this all I want to do,
Is be more like me and be less like you…

Turning, he glances at his reflection in his mirror. His soldier’s eyes taking in his dishevelled state. The black eyeliner darkening his eyes; his waist length, and blue-streaked, raven hair plastered messily to him, bangs falling in his face; his already fitted shirt clinging wetly to his skin; the storm water dripping from his body and hair to pool on the floor at his feet…

Can't you see that you're smothering me,
Holding too tightly afraid to lose control,
Cause everything that you thought I would be,
Has fallen apart right in front of you,
Every step that I take is another mistake to you,
And every second I waste is more than I can take…

 

Stepping closer to the reflection, he examines the chain dangling from his soft, dark-furred cat ear, noting the blood around the top hole of the piercing. Reverting his ears to a human-shape, he cringes at the now visible tear in the equivalent cartilage piercing. He winces as he pulls the first part of the chain-earring off, a trickle of blood running down each side of his ear.  He huffs as he pulls the ring out of his ear lobe, thinking he’ll eventually get the hint to not get so carried away, at least with his ears…

 

I've become so numb I can't feel you there,
Become so tired so much more aware,
I'm becoming this all I want to do,
Is be more like me and be less like you,

And I know, I may end up failing too,
But I know, You were just like me with someone disappointed in you…

Cringing, he pulls off his clinging shirt. Biting down on his lip with a fang, on a fresh puncture mark, as the soaked material pulls away the blood just starting to clot on his chest and stomach. Grumbling, he runs his fingers over the shallow claw marks along his many scars.  He’d hoped for the downpour to wash away the scent, but pulling off his shirt had reopened most of them and fresh blood was blossoming up. 

 

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
Become so tired so much more aware
I'm becoming this all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

 

He feels his sister’s gentle touch on his mind and abruptly shuts himself up within himself, pushing her away. Seconds after, loud and panicked knocking rattles his door, his fox lover having caught the scent of his cat’s blood. With a groan at the fact that he’d get no peace here, he slinks off to his window and climbs down, flitting from shadow to shadow in the rain until he reaches the fullest tree on the grounds.  Climbing up swiftly, he shelters himself from view in the thick foliage. Silently thanking the rain beating down on him so relentlessly, he knows he’ll be undisturbed, his scent covered by the storm. 

I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be
I've become so numb I can't feel you there
I'm tired of being what you want me to be

 

Perching solidly on a thick branch, he closes his eyes, letting the rain wash away his blood and tears...

Author's Note

A swords&sorcery verse story - alternate reality/world

Reviews

[Murtuza]

I can see you have a fascination with cats :)
I like how you've intensified the situation with the song. I really liked reading this. Nice job!

[KittenCaine]

Creepy? XD Not sure that was supposed to happen, but cool ^^"

And it's not exactly related no, though this guy is the came character base as Misao, it's a different universe.

[lost?]

Creepy... good, but creepy.

Is this related to the other one you wrote?