This Black Box

A look into a mind filled with pain and sorrow.

This Black Box
It's so dark in here,
It feels like this box
Will never open again.
I'm alone in here.
I can smell the fear and blood
That never goes away.
I hear voices in this box,
But how can it be?
This box is too small
And it's getting smaller by the day, So the voices must be in my head.
They come so fast
And are gone just as fast.
Sometimes this box will open
And I can see the light again!
But the box will always close on me
And it'll start all over,
The fear,
The smell of blood,
The dark,
And I'm left alone with only the voices.
It feels like night all the time.
How did I get into this box?
Will I ever get out?

This place is so dark and evil,
I have nowhere to go,
No one to talk to.
I fight every day,
But what is it that I fight for?
Must I keep fighting?
For what?
No one can tell me,
No one sees me here anymore.
Does anyone see
What is happening to me?
I am my own worst enemy right now.
Does anyone see me in the dark,
Or have they left me here to die?
Maybe this is my future.
Is the blood I smell then my own?
I think so.

Today I saw all the wrong ,
While everyone else just saw the good things.
Can't they see all the wrong
And pain out there?
What is wrong with them - I see it all.
Wait, that is me I see out there.
Can no one see me then?
The only person that can see me,
Is the one person I should never have let go
And hurt like I did.

Sorry for what I did to you.
I might never find the right words to say to you,
But I will try every day till I'm gone.
This is just a demon that will never let go of me.

I hope one day I can show her
Just what she means to me,
If she'll ever want to take me back
After what I did.
Life is not on my side now,
But I know now what to do.

I hope I can get out of this box soon -
The pain is getting more every day.
But I will never forget her face,
Her smile,
Her eyes,
And the love we made.
I hope the day will come
That I can make everything right again,
And show her just what she means to me,
And who I really am.

For her I will die tonight
If it means that she will forgive me,
And love me like I love her.
How do you ever tell someone
How you really feel inside
Without the right words?

I hope it's not too late -
If I lose her a second time,
I don't want to live anymore -
Then this blood I smell
Will be all mine.

Copyright(c)HannesPelzerDecember2011

Author's Note

A piece given to me by the love of my life. With his permission I have posted on my profile.

Reviews

[An owl on the moon]

What a dark, beautiful longing.. to be free.. to find life.. to cling to the shadows until the light breaks through. You've always had such a powerful voice.. so glad you're back to sing over us again.

[just is]

My Goodness, such raw energy and emotions in this.
This is really Good. I enjoyed the darkness of this.
Awesome write.