Beggars would Ride

Unapologetically a limerick. My nod for patties day

 

I don’t blow on dandelions anymore

Or raise my feet when I cross the track

I don’t cross myself when a hearse passes

Or make a wish on eyelashes

Or throw salt to my back

 

I don’t change my course for ladders

Or graze the earth for four leaf clover

I don’t count passing train cars

Hold fireflies in jars

Or curse a black cat who comes over

 

I don’t look for an end to rainbows

Or add ceremony to my necklace’s clasp

I don’t scan the sky for shooting stars

Count punch buggies or blue cars

Or make other wishes out of my grasp

 

I do hold my breath when I hear your name

And pray for you with each rising sun

I seek your approval in the things I do

Hope secretly you think of me too

And keep my eyes on the horizon

 

I know you hold no prayer for us

The distance we are held apart

So I’m not casting glances

On wishes luck or chances

Instead I’m holding on to my heart.

Reviews

[J.P.O.et]

This is a nice little treat as I was unsure of what to expect
but this is a nice ode to that special someone
You keep to your rhyme scheme and I understand your message
You have stopped wishing and hoping on superstitions due to your disapointments
but you still have that feeling when it comes to him, Nice work
J.P.O.et

[Doctor JKC]

I love it!
Has the sound of a good country song
to it because of the ending.
Jack

[Jim Clarke]

This is indeed a delight to read, and it is impossible not to relate to the feelings you express. I wrote about the end of the rainbow, however, so I hope you will give my writing a chance.

[Zatoichi]

beautiful sentiment that is beautifully written. Z

[zig]

ive never cared much for conventional poetry, but your shyme in this was so suble and natural that i didnt even notice on the first read... thats a good thing.

"no prayer for us"

this "us" is interesting, took me by surprize, had to wonder about this other/s, it really changes the identity of subject (you)... perhaps not just a lover but also a father? mysterious. great twist. ebjoyed this poem very much. zig

[Raef C. Boylan]

It's great to see someone taking the limmerick structure and making it their own, without the 'there once was a...' element. You've done a great job with the rhyme scheme, nerver seeming to compromise your message for it. I didn't read this as a loss of innocence - the ending was sentimental rather than cynical, so I felt that it was more a growth of realism and wisdom. I'm probably wrong, but it's just what it meant to me, because superstitions are generally daft [although we can't help holding onto some of them, generally the ones we create for ourselves, like you mention at the end].
Good write.
Thanks for posting it.

[The Viking]

My mind wonders who could this be about? God or a distant lover, either one would fit in. The element of lost innocence shows when you speak of the things you used to wish on and the rituals you observed for the sake of good luck. It's very sad in a good way. Loss of innocence is something you'd think more poems would be written about, but it's rarely touched on and you've done it in a most sublime fashion. At the end, it's your heart that matters, because it knows what you truly desire.

[Brenda Sue]

Very well written. I love it. Beautifully penned.

[Robert Luna]

I loved this and thought you wrote it so wonderfully and I know it is an uplifting piece but I have to tell you it took on a whole new meaning to me than your other reviewers as I was listening to Color Blind by the Counting Crows while I was reading this and WOW I am not sure if it was the song or the place that it put me as I heard and read it was purely a spiritually awakening as I felt this connection of life and the world surrounding me all come into focus and seeing it in a new way with new eyes. Like seeing it for the first time or seeing it after I had been there a hundred times before but the way the light was hitting it today made it change into something purely breathtaking. I know I am rambling but I feel so grateful for the experience.

[Chillbear Latrigue]

This poem made me a bit sad at the beginning because of the loss of innocence that I perceived. However, the climax was quite touching.