Chapter 2: Walking Through The Halls

Chapter 2: Walking Through The Halls

A Chapter by Knoxxeh

       Walking through the halls of the old Charleston inn that i used to play in felt eerie, the way you feel in the dark. It looks different in the Inn but nothing physical has changed, the walls are still same, the lobby is still the same. The feel when you walk in, it isn't warm and secure it's dark and afraid. Something isn't right with the whole town I felt it when I went passed the welcome sign. I look around more before bumping into a tall man in a long coat. I start to say sorry when I notice he doesn't even pay attention, just keeps on walking like a ghost. "That's Mr. Smith, he has been here for two months, he seems to always be in a bad mood." I nod a little still watching Mr. Smith who enters the room next to the back door. I look over at the walls the paintings that hung there before I left are still the same. I smile at some of the painting of sailboats and blue skies I look at another one of my house, the Crippen house.
    I stop and look at the picture, there is something different about it, I keep looking but I cant seem to find the difference. I feel a tug on my arm but I pull it back, my eyes go to the windows of the big house. I see the figure of a little girl with long hair, her face is hidden but shes looking outside I think. My hand get pulled again as I end up stumbling towards Rose who looks sad and worried all at once. I yank my hand out of her grasp. "Stop that." I say as I walk over to the picture again but this time I look at the window and the little girl I saw before seems to of disappeared. I shake my head and walk back over to Rose.
    "What was it?" She asks as we start to walk forward again.
    "Nothing I thought, I thought I saw." I let out a long sigh and give up trying to explain what it was. "Never mind just forget you I ever looking at the photo." I look around some more at other photos but none catch my eyes as much as the photo of my house. I run into Rose soon who stops in front of the last room before turning into the lobby.
    "This is my room." She says smiling then opening the door, The room is pitch black with only the light of the moon entering it from the window. I small figure blocks some of the window off I look at Rose real quick who doesn't seem to see it. Rose give me a weird look causing wrinkles to form on her forehead, as I turn my head back the figure I saw was gone. The light goes on and I pull my hand over my eyes to block it because of the brightness. The room had two beds in it for some reason even though it was Rose's room. I walk in and place my bags by the door, the room smelled like vanilla tulips. The room seemed pretty dull only a bed and a desk. I sit down on one of the beds to try and relax.
    "Why are people afraid of my family?" I ask as Rose lay down on her bed.
    "It's complicated, after your sister disappeared  a dark feeling came over people. Everyone felt like they were being watched all the time." She looked at the clock on the wall to see what time it was. Rose looked at stuff all the time when we were little when she was nervous apparently the habit is still there. "After awhile parents got scared, kids weren't allowed to go outside, No one in town felt safe." She starting to look at things around the room again and again.
     "Then when your parents died things got worse, people started getting hurt in strange situations." She looked at me this time, in the eyes she was being serious. "Many of these happened when the person was around the Crippen house."
    "So what my dead family is haunting Charleston." I say while chuckling a little. "That's ridiculous."
    "No, It's not." Rose opens her desk and pulls out a book, flipping it open reveals pages and pages of newspaper article from Charleston. "Look, Injuries from statues falling over, glass shattering and cutting them, and some of these were fatal." She looked at me again as I kept my eyes on the book I could see the sadness and fear in her eyes in my peripheral vision.
    "I don't want to talk about this right now I just want to sleep." I say as I lay down and turn to the window and such my eyes.
    "Fine, you just avoid problems just like you did before you left ten years ago." Rose says with an angry tone.
    "I will." I say in anger back, then as I drift off into sleep I can see the faces of my parents and my sister none of them seem happy.



© 2012 Knoxxeh


My Review

Would you like to review this Chapter?
Login | Register




Reviews

First of great chapter it keeps the read wondering what's going enough to turn the page. But you really need to go back and reread it slowly and fix those pesky mispelled and missing words. I'd point them out but seems you need the practice. Moving on.

Posted 12 Years Ago


Somehow I don't think he's going to be able to avoid a problem like his dead ghost family being accused of trying to kill everyone in town....

So the questions begin to have answers...and they're really quite...BLOOD CURDLING.

I'm definitely up for a tale of death and haunting.

.novelists.elite.info.
.display. Jake Donald Stephens
.memberID. 006
.name. Jake
.username. DesertKing
.novels. Cliff, The Cult, Back To The Shack
.status. Admin, Role Model, Novelist, noelwrimo Champion
.noelwrimo. 30,271
.join date. 03-24-2011

Posted 12 Years Ago


No weakness in this chapter. I like the description of the house. Allowing the reader to feel the sadness and fear. I like the conversation with Rose. A good ending. Seeing the family unhappy faces. Thank you for the excellent chapter.
Coyote

Posted 12 Years Ago


Never mind just forget you I ever looking at the photo." -Forget I ever looked at the photo.
.novelists.elite.info.
.display. DayDreamer54
.memberID. 010
.name. Patricia
.username. johncenagirl54
.novels. - - - -
.status. Early Reader
.join date. 04-19-2011

Posted 12 Years Ago


So once again some minor mistakes. A few "I's" are un capitalized. Nothing too big that you should worry about.
This is getting really intersting. I want to know if he's really seeing the things he thinks he's seeing or if he's just going crazy. Also i want to know more about his family. Its weird how everything feel apart after they were gone. Lastly i sort of agree with quan and Ana, it does seem to be a little bit rushed, but you are doing a good job on this. :)

.novelists.elite.info.
.display. Julie Beth
.memberID. 014
.name. Julie
.username. polarjulie32
.novels. Unexpected
.status. Early Reader, Early Writer
.join date. 07-15-11

Posted 12 Years Ago


First this is a very good chapter, and like Ana said. It does feel kind of rush. Also at the beginning you used a lot of yous. Now this is just a suggestion. I personally would try to express the character (i) would feel about the inn not how the reader should feel.
.novelists.elite.info.
.display. .quan.011.
.memberID. 011
.name. Quan
.username. Qmembers
.novels. Imperfect Humans, Imperfect Weapons
.status. Early Reader, noelwrimo Contestant
.noelwrimo. 24,796
.join date. 05-29-11


Posted 12 Years Ago


i really like this but i feel like its going really fast. kindof like you skiped over the set up and just dove into the action part... :) but its really good :) .novelists.elite.info.
.display. .ana.008.
.memberID. 008
.name. Arianna
.username. nerdypenguin2427
.novels. Right Side Up, The Bigger Sister, Fear
.status. Novelist, Role Model
.join date. 04-03-2011



Posted 12 Years Ago



Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

497 Views
7 Reviews
Rating
Added on February 13, 2012
Last Updated on February 16, 2012


Author

Knoxxeh
Knoxxeh

Farmington, NY



About
Hello my name is Wesley, i am a writer and i will always be a writer its my favorite thing to do because life can be boring at times but i can create a world where i can do anything be anybody that's .. more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Blame Blame

A Poem by Evelynn