Pretty Blue iPod

 

 

Dont think

Just because

Your older-than-me eyes

Are staring down

At the touch screen

Of a pretty blue iPod

That I don't see what you're doing

 

You're not talking

You're forcing me to apologize

For something that

I'm never going to utter the word

"Sorry" for

 

Inhale a breath

Look my way

Part your lips

But then say nothing again

 

You dont care

If what you do hurts her

Or me

I tell you what I feel

You say?

"Yeah, whatever."

 

That doesn't matter

To you at all

Because you've got

A legal "I'm an adult now" sticker

And a pretty blue iPod

To hide what I already see

 

To hide the fact that you're

Trying to get

An apology out of me

That you'll never get

 

Because I wont

Make the same mistake you've planned

On making

For "the past sixteen years"

 

So go ahead

And shut out the truth

Because what you feel is the right answer

Because taking how others feel

Into your choice

Is too much work

Because there's no app

On your pretty blue iPod

To do it for you

 

Inhale once

Play a game

Look at me

Say a word

Then look away

 

Too bad your

Pretty blue iPod

Will be your only friend

When this all hits the fan

And you'll come to me

To say

"You were right."

Author's Note

If you're reading this (and you know who you are) I dont care. I dont care if this makes you angry at me, I dont care if you think this is all bogus, and I don't care if you come home screaming at me. I'm not going to censor my writing to suit your needs. You know what you're doing is wrong, and yet you're going to do it anyway. It's disgusting and I need to write it down before I say it to you outloud. Besides, I said what I had to say to you, and I got your response.

"Yeah, whatever, I'm still going."

Reviews

[Michael X]

The reciprocating intent captures motive in an emotive way.
"Pretty Blue iPad" the flow reminds me of th classic poets like Whitman
or Neruda. You clearly have talent. Keep it up!

[Abigail T]

I really enjoyed the repetition of "pretty blue ipod." It definitely cemented the sarcastic, biting attitude behind the narrator. The lines "Because you've got/
A legal "I'm an adult now" sticker" were strong, as well. If this is something you decide to come back to and work on or revise, definitely keep the strong sense of personality the narrator/speaker has.

My only critique would be that this poem is both vague and specific at the same time. I'd like to see either you deciding to make the scene either more mysterious or more specific, but dabbling in both got me a bit lost.

Otherwise, a wonderfully angry and spiteful piece. Fabulous job!

[Angie Diane♥&hea..]

I loved this piece! It had so much anger for the person you are angry at. I don't think anyone should treat you this way. It makes me angry that they would hurt someone as beautiful as you. I loved the last line too because eventually they will understand that you were right and they were wrong. Good job. Thanks for sharing. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

Strong words and interesting tale. Good to write down what you feel. Anger need to be released. When people yell and scream. No-body will win. I like the ending to a excellent poem.
Coyote