Asian fantasy, tragedy, horror, adventure, interwoven with a romance. About rediscovering love and life after these things seem forever lost, ...that sometimes the Sakura blooms in the coldest winter
This story was inspired entirely by a dream. The first draft of the story is done, although I've only posted the first book, or act, online. If you want to look at a chapter in book II or III, just let me know and I can temporarily republish it for you
My Review
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My... What you have written here. It had me entranced. I was like a mad man unable to stop reading even for a moment. I believe I've never read anything as fast as I've read this piece. My eyes are even stinging from not blinking. I literally could barely even blink while reading the entirety of this. Had you posted more of the story I would have continued to read on until the end. even now I'm itching to continue reading, even though I know that until it is published I won't be able to do so.
Congratulations on a well written, and, hopefully, well received book. I can only hope that when I finally turn my series of short stories into an actual book that I have at least one reader who takes to it as I have of this.
Thank you so much for sharing even this much with us.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Wow, you really read the entire thing!?!? Everything I posted here?!? I find it hard to believe, but.. read moreWow, you really read the entire thing!?!? Everything I posted here?!? I find it hard to believe, but if that is the case, then I am extremely, immensely honored and appreciative. And that you liked it is all the more humbling and motivating.
There are some people who are coming close to finishing everything I posted, but you would be the first. Therefore I simply have to ask you some questions please;
- in terms of the characters and overall plot, what were a few of the strengths? Some of the weaknesses?
- What aspect of the writing itself works best, and in what areas do you think I should try to improve as a writer?
- can you tell me what is your favorite part? and what your guesses are as to where the story will lead?
Sorry for asking so many questions, but since you'd be the first person who read the whole thing I can think of no one better to ask a bit of constructive criticism from
9 Years Ago
Yes I did. I've always been a fast reader. But I couldn't read this book fast enough. and It's not a.. read moreYes I did. I've always been a fast reader. But I couldn't read this book fast enough. and It's not a problem I'l try to answer your questions to the best of my ability, just as I do for Malister Mikey.
1: The emotion and feelings of the characters while subtle at most points was flawless. I was in tears and felt heartbroken along side Ayaka when the prince died. While her dream was accurate that he was returning home, it wasn't in a way she'd have ever expected, though I knew he was going to die just from the summary I definitely wasn't expecting it to happen the way it did. It was a little slow during the first few chapters but I was completely enthralled by the time I got to the part about the festivals. There are many books and novels that start out slow and then draw the readers in just like this and I think it'd be fine to leave as is. After all what is a good story without a little ground work to better explain the area and the setting.
I have a love of details similar to yours. I'll agree with Nussquam in you have to be careful about giving detail about the area as well as people. Too much detail leaves very little for their imagination to take hold and draw them further into the world before us. On the other side of the coin, too little detail can be very problematic and leave everyone confused. Through the chapters I've seen much improvement on the amount of detail, but there is always room to improve more.
Another thing I noticed was how you like to use big words. While it is good to do so every now and again, you don't the story to sound uptight or condescending. Its good to have a thesaurus on hand to find other words with the same meaning to choose between to make it easier to understand without having to run for a dictionary.
So far favorite part was how you developed the relationship between her and the prince. and how until she actually said the words, she was unsure of her own feelings for the prince. SO many people tend to rush the relationship in romances to the point that it makes no sense why they even like each other aside from appearances. So I really liked how you pulled it off.
I foresee Ayaka remembering in some fashion a childhood encounter with Kenjin considering she felt as though she'd seen him before the first time she saw him near the sakura trees. I have a feeling that a relationship will blossom between the two of them as they some how manage to defeat the Akuma pursing her and possible even save the kingdom in the end.
I hope that helped answer your questions.
9 Years Ago
Oh my gosh, forgive me, I really doubted that you'd read it at all. I confess that I thought maybe y.. read moreOh my gosh, forgive me, I really doubted that you'd read it at all. I confess that I thought maybe you were trying to trick me so that I'd read your work. I've had that happen before. But instead, what you have done in reading the entire 1st book/act of Sakura Dream is definitively the greatest compliment I have ever received for this book, and for my writing in general during my entire life. I am very, very grateful to you. I am humbled that you couldn't stop reading and that you enjoyed it so much. It is a huuuuge motivation and inspiration to me to know that there are people who will understand and feel the spirit of this story
You also give me much good advice. I'm definitely trying to curb the use of big words and being overly descriptive. Doing those things is in part because of my lack of confidence as a writer, but everyday I'm feeling a little bit freer of these failings and constraints
I have to admit that I cried more than once while writing this, and definitely that was more the case than in any chapter as it was in "Tears in the Rain" where Ayaka breaks down. There are many other emotionally powerful moments in the story, especially near and at the end
I think I may have told you already, but this story is inspired by a dream (a pretty long one). I don't think that I could have ever have come up with it while awake. I never intended to write anything mirroring ancient feudal Japan, but I could not ignore this dream. I'm still not sure though, what all the symbolism and subconscious meanings of it are
I will definitely give you a free copy of the book when it is all done. If for some reason I forget (my head gets lost in the clouds quite a bit) just remind me.
The entire story has been written as a loose rough draft. Right now I am about halfway through the second act. I'm guessing it will be about a year, maybe two, before it is ready
9 Years Ago
You did mention it. and at least you are further than i am at my own. Right now I'm just typing up k.. read moreYou did mention it. and at least you are further than i am at my own. Right now I'm just typing up key parts and snippets for shortstories while I try to decide exactly how to put the seires of dreams that inspired my own story together. I'm still deciding on if I shold make them a actual book (which I'll probably call 'Perserverance') or a book of short stories (which I'll call 'Tales of Perserverance') The word perserverance is the one word that can truely describe the entirty of my heroine's tale. It seemes to me that it is a word that describes Ayaka's tale as well.
Like you, with your book, I've shed many tears over the dreams of my own heroine and the traeities she's suffered. I'm glad I'm not the only one to dream things like this. I dn't know how many night's my husband's woken to find me sobbing and only be able to hold me until I can explain why I was so upset to begin with.
When my heroine was stabbed throught the stomach and her daughter was literally ripped from her womb, I woke feeling as though my stomach had burst open and was heartbroken as if I lost my own child, when I don't even have the honor of being a mother yet in this life.
Its awe inspiring the way dreams can inspire people like you and I to write, especially when we remember it all in such vivid details.
My muses made up my mind. the prologue is up. As I get to the parts that are in the short stories I'.. read moreMy muses made up my mind. the prologue is up. As I get to the parts that are in the short stories I'll take down the short stories.
9 Years Ago
it will be interesting to read dream inspired writing as yours. I don;t know, but it doesn't seem th.. read moreit will be interesting to read dream inspired writing as yours. I don;t know, but it doesn't seem that that many people actually write from dreams. I think most dreams aren't usually interesting enough, or are too short and bizarre to make for a novel, but every now and then there are amazing things that can come to us in sleep, kind of like vision seekers finding something
9 Years Ago
Honestly I'm amazed that I have so many dreams about her and her life to the point that I can peace .. read moreHonestly I'm amazed that I have so many dreams about her and her life to the point that I can peace together how each dream fits together. Its almost like remembering a lost memory rather than a dream. Especially with the deep emotions throughout it.
I think it's really relaxing to hear. In my opinion, it's good
Posted 9 Years Ago
9 Years Ago
thank u! There are many songs through these chapters. Maybe you'd like them all, maybe to use to wri.. read morethank u! There are many songs through these chapters. Maybe you'd like them all, maybe to use to write to as well
My... What you have written here. It had me entranced. I was like a mad man unable to stop reading even for a moment. I believe I've never read anything as fast as I've read this piece. My eyes are even stinging from not blinking. I literally could barely even blink while reading the entirety of this. Had you posted more of the story I would have continued to read on until the end. even now I'm itching to continue reading, even though I know that until it is published I won't be able to do so.
Congratulations on a well written, and, hopefully, well received book. I can only hope that when I finally turn my series of short stories into an actual book that I have at least one reader who takes to it as I have of this.
Thank you so much for sharing even this much with us.
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Wow, you really read the entire thing!?!? Everything I posted here?!? I find it hard to believe, but.. read moreWow, you really read the entire thing!?!? Everything I posted here?!? I find it hard to believe, but if that is the case, then I am extremely, immensely honored and appreciative. And that you liked it is all the more humbling and motivating.
There are some people who are coming close to finishing everything I posted, but you would be the first. Therefore I simply have to ask you some questions please;
- in terms of the characters and overall plot, what were a few of the strengths? Some of the weaknesses?
- What aspect of the writing itself works best, and in what areas do you think I should try to improve as a writer?
- can you tell me what is your favorite part? and what your guesses are as to where the story will lead?
Sorry for asking so many questions, but since you'd be the first person who read the whole thing I can think of no one better to ask a bit of constructive criticism from
9 Years Ago
Yes I did. I've always been a fast reader. But I couldn't read this book fast enough. and It's not a.. read moreYes I did. I've always been a fast reader. But I couldn't read this book fast enough. and It's not a problem I'l try to answer your questions to the best of my ability, just as I do for Malister Mikey.
1: The emotion and feelings of the characters while subtle at most points was flawless. I was in tears and felt heartbroken along side Ayaka when the prince died. While her dream was accurate that he was returning home, it wasn't in a way she'd have ever expected, though I knew he was going to die just from the summary I definitely wasn't expecting it to happen the way it did. It was a little slow during the first few chapters but I was completely enthralled by the time I got to the part about the festivals. There are many books and novels that start out slow and then draw the readers in just like this and I think it'd be fine to leave as is. After all what is a good story without a little ground work to better explain the area and the setting.
I have a love of details similar to yours. I'll agree with Nussquam in you have to be careful about giving detail about the area as well as people. Too much detail leaves very little for their imagination to take hold and draw them further into the world before us. On the other side of the coin, too little detail can be very problematic and leave everyone confused. Through the chapters I've seen much improvement on the amount of detail, but there is always room to improve more.
Another thing I noticed was how you like to use big words. While it is good to do so every now and again, you don't the story to sound uptight or condescending. Its good to have a thesaurus on hand to find other words with the same meaning to choose between to make it easier to understand without having to run for a dictionary.
So far favorite part was how you developed the relationship between her and the prince. and how until she actually said the words, she was unsure of her own feelings for the prince. SO many people tend to rush the relationship in romances to the point that it makes no sense why they even like each other aside from appearances. So I really liked how you pulled it off.
I foresee Ayaka remembering in some fashion a childhood encounter with Kenjin considering she felt as though she'd seen him before the first time she saw him near the sakura trees. I have a feeling that a relationship will blossom between the two of them as they some how manage to defeat the Akuma pursing her and possible even save the kingdom in the end.
I hope that helped answer your questions.
9 Years Ago
Oh my gosh, forgive me, I really doubted that you'd read it at all. I confess that I thought maybe y.. read moreOh my gosh, forgive me, I really doubted that you'd read it at all. I confess that I thought maybe you were trying to trick me so that I'd read your work. I've had that happen before. But instead, what you have done in reading the entire 1st book/act of Sakura Dream is definitively the greatest compliment I have ever received for this book, and for my writing in general during my entire life. I am very, very grateful to you. I am humbled that you couldn't stop reading and that you enjoyed it so much. It is a huuuuge motivation and inspiration to me to know that there are people who will understand and feel the spirit of this story
You also give me much good advice. I'm definitely trying to curb the use of big words and being overly descriptive. Doing those things is in part because of my lack of confidence as a writer, but everyday I'm feeling a little bit freer of these failings and constraints
I have to admit that I cried more than once while writing this, and definitely that was more the case than in any chapter as it was in "Tears in the Rain" where Ayaka breaks down. There are many other emotionally powerful moments in the story, especially near and at the end
I think I may have told you already, but this story is inspired by a dream (a pretty long one). I don't think that I could have ever have come up with it while awake. I never intended to write anything mirroring ancient feudal Japan, but I could not ignore this dream. I'm still not sure though, what all the symbolism and subconscious meanings of it are
I will definitely give you a free copy of the book when it is all done. If for some reason I forget (my head gets lost in the clouds quite a bit) just remind me.
The entire story has been written as a loose rough draft. Right now I am about halfway through the second act. I'm guessing it will be about a year, maybe two, before it is ready
9 Years Ago
You did mention it. and at least you are further than i am at my own. Right now I'm just typing up k.. read moreYou did mention it. and at least you are further than i am at my own. Right now I'm just typing up key parts and snippets for shortstories while I try to decide exactly how to put the seires of dreams that inspired my own story together. I'm still deciding on if I shold make them a actual book (which I'll probably call 'Perserverance') or a book of short stories (which I'll call 'Tales of Perserverance') The word perserverance is the one word that can truely describe the entirty of my heroine's tale. It seemes to me that it is a word that describes Ayaka's tale as well.
Like you, with your book, I've shed many tears over the dreams of my own heroine and the traeities she's suffered. I'm glad I'm not the only one to dream things like this. I dn't know how many night's my husband's woken to find me sobbing and only be able to hold me until I can explain why I was so upset to begin with.
When my heroine was stabbed throught the stomach and her daughter was literally ripped from her womb, I woke feeling as though my stomach had burst open and was heartbroken as if I lost my own child, when I don't even have the honor of being a mother yet in this life.
Its awe inspiring the way dreams can inspire people like you and I to write, especially when we remember it all in such vivid details.
My muses made up my mind. the prologue is up. As I get to the parts that are in the short stories I'.. read moreMy muses made up my mind. the prologue is up. As I get to the parts that are in the short stories I'll take down the short stories.
9 Years Ago
it will be interesting to read dream inspired writing as yours. I don;t know, but it doesn't seem th.. read moreit will be interesting to read dream inspired writing as yours. I don;t know, but it doesn't seem that that many people actually write from dreams. I think most dreams aren't usually interesting enough, or are too short and bizarre to make for a novel, but every now and then there are amazing things that can come to us in sleep, kind of like vision seekers finding something
9 Years Ago
Honestly I'm amazed that I have so many dreams about her and her life to the point that I can peace .. read moreHonestly I'm amazed that I have so many dreams about her and her life to the point that I can peace together how each dream fits together. Its almost like remembering a lost memory rather than a dream. Especially with the deep emotions throughout it.
I started drawing comics when I was about four or five (not much better than dinosaur stick figures). Over time I found I couldn’t express enough through just drawing and was always adding more.. more..
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