Careless

...in the beginning...

It was a gift.

A concept that appeared new and foreign to me.

For i had never been-

Merely a fond concept you chose to make reality.

I stared up upon waking that very first day

To have my vision assaulted by soothing tones of blue and light.

I knew you were there, although you were nowhere in sight

Thus i inhaled my gift deeply,

The gift of life...

I tried to take it all in at first,

But all i could take in was short of enough.

It was all you.

There was your signature in every form

And it was all good.

 

I knew i could trust you from that very instant-

The moment i began.

You began my beginning,

Bringing an end to me not existing

And i was all yours.

All you had to say i wanted to hear

And to my joy you always spoke.

Everywhere i turned there was you speaking

While i ceaselessly listened

With each and every one of my senses.

From the birds infused greetings into the newly birthed day

To the fathomless depths' constantly persuading the earth to come their way

While housing the tireless swimmers in their body of blue

As the sunlight glistened off its surface and the green lands’ dew-

I sat or lay or walked,

But listened.

 

Our relationship was perfection's joy-

Up until i gave it up and fell for evil's ploy.

It was the worst thing i could ever have done

And it was my very undoing.

Suddenly, the place you'd once filled was a gaping vacuum

I wanted to put you back in but in the echoes of my grave,

There just wasn't any room.

I didn't know what to do to make things right,

Because all i knew i shouldn't i did;

For my own death i made the highest bid.

I was sorry, but not as much as I'd been careless.

 

Outside my knowledge though, was the path

Leading to the solution you'd already mapped out before i knew to get lost.

Despite its priceless incalculable cost-

You gave it.

I had sacrificed our relationship for my folly's pleasure

Yet you sacrificed the one who pleased you for my ultimate salvation.

I'm not sorry for the sacrifice,

But i am sorry i forced you to give it

By my being so very careless.

Author's Note

Please share your opinions...corrections are most welcome. :)

Reviews

[Rita L. Sev]

There's a lot to take in here, Kwiksie. Your prose is very good, with some excellent imagery:

With each and every one of my senses.
From the birds infused greetings into the newly birthed day
To the fathomless depths' constantly persuading the earth to come their way
While housing the tireless swimmers in their body of blue

Nice!

I get a spiritual vibe from this piece - a sort of "Alpha and Omega" presence, and you, perhaps acknowledging the effects of your own flaws...

[Kwiksie Ifediora]

You hit it spot on Rita, so glad you get it. :) Thank you for stopping by.

[Eddie Phillips]

You have a way of pulling people into your writing. It is a gift. Again I was swept away by your use of rhythem and imagery. You start off so angelic and describe love so carefree and then you show us another reality. It was a complete journey. It was engrossing and deep.

[Kwiksie Ifediora]

Thank you for your very kind words Eddie, i'm very glad it ministered to you.
Thanks for stopping by! :)

[John Alexander McFadyen]

This has a very religious feel to it. It meanders and flows in metaphors of creation and the all round presence of God.

[Kwiksie Ifediora]

Yes..it does. :) Thank you for reading.

[Sami Khalil]

"Outside my knowledge though, was the path

Leading to the solution you'd already mapped out before i knew to get lost.

Despite its priceless incalculable cost-

You gave it.

I had sacrificed our relationship for my folly's pleasure

Yet you sacrificed the one who pleased you for my ultimate salvation."
A splendid read and write...Thank you for sharing...:)

[Kwiksie Ifediora]

and thank You for reading. :)

[Sami Khalil]

My pleasure...:)