She's broken,but don't show it

Headphones,

are her only retreat.

music will soon,

replace her heartbeat.

 

She smiles,

to hide the tears.

she laughs,

to hide the pain.

 

She tells herself,

everything will get better,

but she worries,

if it will get worse.

 

It's gonna get harder,

before it gets easier,

but it will get better,

you just have to make it through the hard stuff first.

 

She's always there,

for anybody,

even if their not there,

if she needs them.

 

She has seen more blood,

than anyone,

she has had more heart breaks,

than anyone.

 

She hopes and hopes,

for hopefully,

she's gonna see,

some better days.

 

She'll be fine,

pretending she's not.

She's far from lonely,

and it's all she's got.

 

She cries herself to sleep,

she just breaks down,

but the next morning,

she's all better.

 

She paints a smile upon her face,

so nobody will ask,

what's wrong?,

she says she's fine.

 

But deep inside,

she'd dying,

to be liked

to be loved.

 

Then this one boy comes along,

breaks down all her walls,

puts a real smile on her face,

the only person that has.

 

He asks her out,

she says yes,

their happy together,

soul mates.

 

They graduate school,

decide to get married,

they set the date,

now their together forever.

 

After two years,

she gets pregnant,

they start their family.

they couldn't be happier.

 

The girl that never smiled,

never had anything she wanted,

now had the world,

and never stopped smiling

Reviews

[Green]

I liked how it was so relatable: the music in the beginning (especially since that's one of the first places I always go when I feel like crap), the intense need to be wanted, the hope but fear that things will get worse, so on and so on. I could just repeat the whole poem but that would be sort of pointless since you've already done it so well so I'll just skip all that. I do think it's the relatability that makes this so great though.
Also, the shorter verses make it easier to read because even though it's longer it doesn't take forever to read (nothing against longer verses, I like those too, I'm just saying)

[SouthernBelle]

thank you so much I'm glad you liked it

[Elmo Queen]

me but not the boy coming

[trainwreck]

Looks good. Some of your commas in the earlier stanzas were unnecessary, or seemed to break the flow in an awkward place. I would look at those for editing, but other than that, I enjoyed this piece immensely. It left me with a smile on my face.

[SouthernBelle]

im glad you liked it

[Issac Scott]

Cute stuff.

[SouthernBelle]

thanks

[Tomi]

True love conquers all.. great stuff :)

[SouthernBelle]

im glad you liked it

[Coyote Poetry]

A very good poem. Most of us will struggle before we know peace and happiness. I like the flow of the poem and the positive ending. Thank you for sharing the excellent poem.
Coyote

[SouthernBelle]

thank you I'm glad you enjoyed it

[The Analog Kid]

I hear you on the headphones. I love music but rarely use my Ipod. Today, I did it a lot. Felt good. I like the feel of the whole piece.

[SouthernBelle]

thank you I'm glad you liked it

[The Analog Kid]

Sure. anytime:)