dying

dying

A Poem by Kaelyn Shea

im dying here
im fading fast
but im not going
to let them see
me break down
and never come back
im not going to
let them see
my pain and
my fear
i will just let my wrists see it
the blood is flowing 
fast and warm and red
i cant stop it
it wont stop coming
its starting to go dark
whats happening
im dying
and fading even faster
no one is here
theyll find me later
and laugh at the sight
they always said
i should end this life.....
.... help me

© 2010 Kaelyn Shea


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Reviews

This was a great poem. I thought the lines were a little choppy. Maybe you could make them longer or just margin them differently. Great job though

Posted 10 Years Ago


this is the best poem i'v ever read
and the fact that i know its true is even better

Posted 10 Years Ago


0 of 1 people found this review constructive.

I love this poem it's rely great I rely like even as your life is ending you hide the fear and the pain the poem is rely great

Posted 10 Years Ago


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aj
I winced at the fact that she died from slitting her wrist. The only way you can die from that is pretty much cutting to the bone. So you have a way of putting images in people's head {:
Very sad and depressing poem, but very good.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Reading this poem helped me make it through a hard time. It reminded me that I'm not alone, even when things seem the darkest. ㋡

Posted 10 Years Ago


is this a warning sign? well at any rate nice poem...... i used to cut too and trust me you can get over it

Posted 10 Years Ago


Nice poem. I like the emotions that you give.

For the most part, I like your breaks. As I was reading, It was building up the emotion.

One suggestion. After your line about the blood flowing, your next line was, "fast and warm and red."

When I was envisioning thins happening, I saw a steady flow of blood coming. Then when I got to the line "fast and warm and red," I had to slow down a bit. I would suggest maybe taking out the "and" between "fast and warm."

Thanks for sharing,

-JH

Posted 10 Years Ago


This is a poem that I can relate to alot . I hope you do not mean ending your life seriously. It is not ever worth it and I should know as I have tried now 3 times.

Posted 10 Years Ago


i can feel the depth of the emotion, good job...and i hope things get better :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Pretty damn emotional, eep! I liked it.

Posted 10 Years Ago



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32 Reviews
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Added on May 12, 2010
Last Updated on May 14, 2010

Author

Kaelyn Shea
Kaelyn Shea

Little Rock, AR



About
Pen Name: Serena Name: Kaelyn Shea Age: 18 Gender: Girl Sexual Orientation: bisexual. Too bad. Relationship status: Taken March 1, 2012 Piercings: Yes, double ear, cartilige, and belly button H.. more..

Writing
I lied I lied

A Story by Kaelyn Shea



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