What Am I? A Student

What Am I? A Student

A Chapter by Brandon Langley

Second, I am a student.
One of my first memories was in a "school." It was a daycare, TLC(Tender, Loving Care), but it had all the social conventions of a school. There were "grades," which were basically just separation by age; there was a "principal," who was basically just the biggest and loudest of all the "teachers," who were glorified babysitters. There were also all the social conventions that a regular school has: bullies, cliques, brats, jocks, popular kids, outcasts, etc. The memory that I mentioned earlier was of the first in that list: bullies. Sorin was his name. All I remember that he loved whales(the aquatic mammal, not the country), and he was an a*****e. Louis CK has a bit about s****y kids, kids who just treat their parents like butlers. His specific example was of a kid who would walk into class with his mom and just shed his backpack, his coat, his scarf, etc. on the floor for his mother to put into his cubby because he was too lazy to do so. This describes Sorin perfectly: his mother was an amazing woman who would bring him his whale toys(Whales? Seriously!?) everyday, would put his crap away for him, and was just overly nice to everyone. Well, one day, Sorin was, for some reason, not in class when his mom showed up with his whales. She gave them to me to play with while we waited for Sorin. I remember him storming in, ripping one of the toy whales from my hand, saying "Get your hands off my beluga whale or I'll slap you with my Washington!" No one understood what he was talking about, so we let it go and I gave him his tub of whales back, not thinking anything of it. Later in my life, I was retold a story of how I asked what a Washington was, only to find out that Sorin had mixed up George and Lyndon B.
Until being accepted into the IB Program at Plaza, it seemed that every school I've ever been at, whether it be TLC daycare, St. Matthews', or Landstown Elementary, there was always THAT person in the class. There was always the trouble-maker, the idiot, the...(looking for a better word)... The fuckwit. And, going in chronological order, we must begin with First Grade, with Victoria. Victoria was... That person, she thought she was smart and popular, but in reality, she was dumb and annoying. Always blurting out answers and making a fool of herself and her class, this was the first time I realized there was always going to be a class fuckwit.
In the second grade, there was Reagan, a socially inept, trouble-making, annoying girl. I remember once, in line(because I was in third grade. And one walks in lines when one is in the third grade), we were walking and I had the terrible luck to be behind Reagan, and she just started dancing for no reason, shaking her fat a*s(not a good thing) in front of me. I asked her politely to stop, and she turned around, shaking her head No, causing an insufferably irritating chatter with every shake, and yelled, "Well maybe if you weren't lookin' there it wouldn't botha you!" Pure hatred filled me, but I stayed cool and let it be, shaking my head without creating an insufferably irritating chatter with every turn of my head.
In fourth grade, there was a whopping four class fuckwits. Gabriel was... Gabriel was awful. He once broke a kid's arm during "walk and talk" for being in his way(on a HUGE circular road in the parking lot). Once, he accused my friend, Jabari, who I'll get to later, of cursing, a huge offense in elementary school. In an attempt to defend Jabari, I gritted my teeth in disgust and said, "No. He didn't." "You got any proof?" he yelled. I sighed and turned around, obviously not wanting to deal with the situation. Then, another day, Mr. C, one of the coolest teachers I've ever had, an art teacher, sat us next to each other, causing obvious tension. He said something dumb and I looked up at him with my trademark snarl, only to have him say "Haha, look at Brandon! He look dumb!" I snapped, "I might look dumb when I'm mad, but at least I'm not in Special Ed." I whispered. I realize that it was insulting, but the prick deserved it. It became a huge debacle in the office, but they eventually let me off, knowing how much of a troublemaker Gabriel was. Then, there was Mackenzie. She was so dumb that you could look at her and say "She's dumb." She was like Victoria multiplied by ten million. She was horribly ugly(no, I don't judge people by their looks, but it must be mentioned), stuck-up, entitled, and just generally white-trash. Third, we have  Gabriel's lacky, whose name I can't quite remember-maybe Deshawn? He was the real-life embodiment of Grover Dill to Gabriel's Scut Farkus. He was with him all the time and assisted in his evil-doing. Then we come to Jabari, the fuckwit to whom I was blinded by our pseudo-friendship. He always would rather play with LEGOs or just sit in class than do work, so I eventually just had to tell him that I couldn't be his friend unless he started to care about his schoolwork. Soon after I "broke up" with Jabari, his stupidity began to shine: he was always in a bad mood, he acted dumb, he made dumb jokes that no one laughed at and that verged on creepy. He was just a bad kid. I have one specific memory of being at one of my neighborhood friend's house when he came over and picked a fight just before we were to begin an airsoft war. I remember my white dress-shirt that I loved to wear covered in mud, I remember riding back home the wind making my eyes tear up, my Airsoft gun with dirt shoved into the barrel by Jabari.
Aside from the constant bullying, the incompetence of my classmates, and my hatred of the teachers, my time in elementary school finally paid off: I was excepted into the International Baccalaureatte Program at Plaza Middle School, and this is where everything takes off.

© 2014 Brandon Langley

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Added on July 8, 2014
Last Updated on July 20, 2014
Tags: Memoir, Brandon, Langley


Brandon Langley
Brandon Langley

Virginia Beach, VA

I hat my life. more..

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A Story by Brandon Langley

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