Humans

As life breaks forth we learn to fight

But we fight because we have to learn

Power shadows hopeful light

Corrupting those with no return

A deadly passion for flag and nation

We crush the weak with palms of stone

But ignorance to our creation

Means when all is crushed, we stand alone.

Turbulent, we writhe and turn

Like wasps we sting without real reason

In nature's arms we tear and burn

We tongues of fire we portray treason

 

Through reckless fight we conquer all

A drop of love and we start to fall.

Reviews

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

Fascinating. Yes, power can corrupt, we humans do have a tendency to crush the weak using our flag and country as reason. I feel that your last line says it all...love changes everything. Well done Lewis.

[Deron Alexis]

lol yeah all in all we suck very well captured well written the rhythm and flow of the words the comparisons wasps stinging without reason palms of stone nad so on very creative

[ShayElexis(:]

Your take on humans is sadly fitting to a T lol It would be a good song... Can you sing? :P lol

[Arianne Goldbloom]

Wow... Could I try putting music to this? It has the firm dedication of an scottish battle poem. It sounds like it should be chanted by armies going off to war. It has a similar flow to one of my favorite songs, 'The March of Cambreadth".

[Lewis Davis-Norman]

Of course I dont mind! I'd like to see what you come up with :)

[Hadeel ( Charming Fairy..]

amazing , indeed !

[rnuff]

insightful indeed, intriguing as well. Enjoyed.

[Sarahthirk]

Very insightful. Reminds me of The Hunger Games. My favorite part is the last two lines. We can be horrible people, and not really know what we're doing, but once we feel something, like love, we begin to question the world around us

[Lilith]

I always did like rhyme poems so I'm glad to see alot of rhyme and my favorite part is the hole how we try to get power but in return r just hurting our selves and I like the end about love

[Carolann Dowsett]

Very profound, In our search for power and domination over the masses and our need to control and manipulate creation we inadvertently destroy ourselves. Only love truly wins in the end.

[Olivia Marie]

I love this. especially your use of the couplet at the end. Many people (including myself) abuse the use of rhyme. You used it perfectly here, and also there's amazing rhythm. Absolutely wonderful :)