Half Empty

Half Empty

A Poem by Lola Nation
"

drinking tea, what can I say...

"

The leaves in my teapot

are turning brown

and my mood

has sunk to autumn ground,

gathering with the others

who couldn’t hang on

a little longer

The sediment in my cup

needs emptying, but I’ve grown lazy

with the winter doldrums,

just hanging out at the bottom.

© 2008 Lola Nation


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I see from comments that others are either taking your poem as a downer or a lovely melancholy.

I dunno, I think the mood can be quasi-hibernativive, restoring from sediment doldrums a natural simplicity.

Even "Half Empty" with its pessimistic implication, takes on a different meaning Zen-wise.

Hanging out at the bottom's where the bass line pulses.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

nice lyrical little piece, falling down the page kind of like tea leaves sinking. the grounding of the ground with brown is a sweet little surprise. i wonder if a fuller stop would show well at 'others', and then a coordination, like,

... others,
they couldn't hang on
longer.

... i do see that you don't want the formal punctuation, but the line breaks work as punctuation anyway and this one has a kind of 1930's easy feeling to it and maybe could be formed out in the more obvious way, without it seeming contrived.

nice read.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


I see from comments that others are either taking your poem as a downer or a lovely melancholy.

I dunno, I think the mood can be quasi-hibernativive, restoring from sediment doldrums a natural simplicity.

Even "Half Empty" with its pessimistic implication, takes on a different meaning Zen-wise.

Hanging out at the bottom's where the bass line pulses.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

ah, the gypsies read the future from the tea leaves left in the cup so basically, if you use tea bags, you have no future, lol I did not think it was all that sad, just a little melancholy

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

Well, this poem basically started at the bottom and then dug a hole! It's always darkest before the blah, blah, blah . . . now if I were a reader of tea leaves, and I am not saying that I am, but for the sake of this review, let us assume that I am, I would venture to say, hazard a guess, posit an opinion . . . oh what da'hell, I am just stalling because this poem is just so depressing I can't rub two thoughts together.

So, good job. Now I am depressed . . . I hope you are "happy" now! :-)



Posted 11 Years Ago


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SJ.
beautifully written.
captured my soul:D

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

this was beautiful.
totally enjoyed it.
loved its melancholy.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

As a tea-tottler, and one-time seasonal depressive (it spans all seasons now! lol) I must say I LOVE this piece. It's a great tumbling down the rabbit hole kind of feel for me.... it's lovely. Faving this gem for sure. Peace~~

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on November 7, 2008

Author

Lola Nation
Lola Nation

Los Angeles, CA



About
Please find my work on these two sites. For poetry: http://insult-to-injury-poetry.blogspot.com/. For short stories: http://make-it-short.blogspot.com/ ABOUT ME: I am originally from Venice Be.. more..

Writing
Careened Careened

A Poem by Lola Nation