Dark and Broken

Dark and Broken

A Story by Terean
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A young teenager has found herself in an unknown, unfriendly place. All alone with nowhere to run to. At least she thought until she opened her computer

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“This school is gross,” Says the mini-skirt wannabe model behind me. She shoulders me as she passes making me fall and my books spray across the floor. She smirks “Sorry,” she mockingly says to me. Her high ponytail swinging as she twists back around with a devil's grin on her face. “So are the people,” She says to her wannabe popular side chick just loud enough for me to hear. 

My floral dress again dirtied and rumpled making the grass stains from this morning - from when the jocks ‘didn’t see me’ - stand out more. I pick up my glasses from the scattered mess of my papers and books catching my own reflection in the puddle of water forming from my now dripping water bottle. I look away before I get too close of a look. 

This school does suck, I think to myself, why did my dad drag me along for this new job offer that was just a ‘fantastic opportunity’ that would supposedly make us rich? I hear his voice in the back of my mind: “Best schools...Best doctors...Better medication...New friends.”

I sigh and take that ‘better medication’ out of my bag, swallowing two pills. “Druggie,” I hear a passersby say under their breath. I take another pill for good measure and walk to class. 

Home is no better: subtract the jocks and queen bees; add an overprotective father and bullies that hide behind their screen; no longer having to put a face to their painful words. Instagram - home to the top bullies with new insecurities being born each day - their favorite site. 

I open my laptop hoping for my friends from home to cheer me up. No luck. Only more painful comments. I slam my laptop closed tears threatening - begging -  to come out. 

I take a deep breath and try again this time with a comment of my own. One of those clique ‘I want you to feel bad for me but don’t want to make it obvious’ pictures. 

With that, I close everything down, turn my lights, and cry silently into my pillow till I fall asleep…


For a moment I was getting better. For a moment I was feeling good. For a moment I wanted to live. For a moment I had hope again. And in a moment, I lost it all. Again.


New day. New clique quote. Same tournaments. New pills. Never-ending. Please end. Another pill. 


I miss me. The old me, the happy me, the bright me, the smiling me, the laughing me, the gone me.


The weekend finally. I post another quote on Instagram with just a bit of hope in my heart: today will be better. Today is not better. Today was worse. Tomorrow might be the day.


Behind this innocent smile of mine, lay words left unsaid. Words of longing, love, anger, and hate, all repeated inside my head. 


I am about to hit send on my last post - my eyes red and my dress wet and ruffled beyond repair - when I get a follow request. “Taken but forgotten,” I say their name aloud to myself. I click on their profile. It is filled with flowers and cute baby animals. It makes me smile, a real smile, for the first time in weeks. I add them back. Within seconds, I get a direct message: Love the posts where u get em???

I smile again and type my response, Google just type depression quotes its all there lol. I read over my message barely recognizing the person that sent them, but distantly I see them, coming out from the dark shadow that hid them for so long.

My phone blinks and buzzes with their reply.

Lol r u posting another today. I am always so excited for ur next post. Someone excited for my posts? I stare at her message, my eyes wide with surprise. 

Yeah I was just about to. 

Her answer comes before I can even put my phone down, Awesome I can not wait. I don’t answer, I don’t have a response. 

But apparently they do, apparently, they want to keep talking to me because a minute later I get another message: hey stranger where u gone, whatcha doing???

They are so energetic. Not much just sitting on my bathroom floor. I bend over, reaching for my-. *Buzzzz* Another message. I open it: Lol what r u doing there

Debating life. The dots, showing they are typing, come up and then disappear. I am about to put my phone down in despair when they reappear. 

Been there. I stare at the message in surprise. This energetic stranger was like me?  

Not anymore? Their reply takes a long time to come, but it does. Yeah not so long ago. I felt life was no longer worth all the effort. I lived every day waiting for it to end, putting all my effort into getting thru each day

What changed I ask them my curiosity peaked, maybe what they say can help me.

I know u r looking for me to say something that will help u but we r all different how I got better will not help u. But what changed is I fell in love. I know that sounds cliche don’t get me started but it is true. They made me better. They made me want to live. They made me go through each day hoping for the next one. I stare at their message. They are right, it won't help me. I don’t respond I only put my phone down and reach again for my-. 

My phone vibrates my side again with a notification. It is them: Put. It. Down. they tell me.

Life no matter how crappy it is now will be worth it. For me talking helped so much. Just try it one day give me one day. 

I gave them a day. I talked to them and told them about my social anxiety, my pills and how I have been taking more and more. How my father dragged me across the states for a job and how my new school sucks and for over a month the kids bully me everywhere I go. I told them how today was gonna be my last day, that I was gonna take all my pills and that was the end. 

In turn, they helped me. They told me about their experience. That they too were depressed once. She told me how she met her boyfriend online and that through social media sucks it connects us too. She told me how it let her find and stay in contact with someone that she loved, someone that literally saved her life.  

By the time we stop talking it is two in the morning but for me, it was so worth it, it was the best day of my life. I lay in bed thinking about it: how this stranger how lives halfway across the world made me want to live and I think to myself maybe social media is not all that bad. 


Just when the caterpillar thought the world was ending, she became a butterfly.  


Takenbutforgetten: Hey stranger I have got an idea

Me: Oh no lol

Takenbutforgetten: Rude! But seriously what if we start a group

Me: A group?

Takenbutforgetten: Yeah u know like there are probably other people out there on social media apps just like us. U know sad people who could use someone to talk to u

Me: Like us how we met?

Takenbutforgetten: Yeah like us so u up for it??

Me: Definitely 


Sometimes strength comes in knowing you are not alone

© 2019 Terean


Author's Note

Terean
This short story is dark and sad so please do not read if you are faint of heart

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Added on August 15, 2019
Last Updated on August 15, 2019
Tags: Depression, social media, hope