A Poem by La3uren

Why do you deceive me

teasing me this way

you say you like me and yet

you stare at her all day


dont you know I love you

cant you see I care

'caus every time I see your face

Im caught back in your snare


I dont know why, or when, or how

i came to need you so

but every night I think of when

you left me all alone


my heart is not my own

I cant control it now

your the only one

I wish you knew just how


© 2010 La3uren

Author's Note

first poem...um...idk ;)

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Awwww tht was sweet:) But he sounds like a jrk face>:(

Posted 8 Years Ago

This is very good! It has a wonderful flow and a touching content. I believe most people know the feelings you so wonderfully describe here. Thumb up!

Posted 9 Years Ago

This is really good. I like the rhyme scheme and the structure. It's honest and straightforward and a nice write.

Posted 9 Years Ago

Its lovely! Relatable for me too.
Good work

- SaimaS

Posted 9 Years Ago

I LOVE IT. This is so emotional, so true, so incredible. Really, there's not a single thing wrong that I care about (like capitalization, I really don't mind it). INCREDIBLE.

Posted 9 Years Ago

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This is kinda sad.
Makes me want to cry really. To have another in charge of your heart is tuff, one can only hope they take good care of it and I'm sure they will.

Well written...great start.

Posted 9 Years Ago

That makes sense. I like the emotional and hurtful mood the poem has.

Posted 9 Years Ago

For a first poem, you have done a great job...I think we often start with love poems. It does hurt when the one we love appears to have lost interest in us. I hope you write more poetry!

Posted 9 Years Ago

Well, this was pretty good for a first! And I have to say, your writing is pretty advanced for your age. So kudos to you! :) This was nicely done, and a lot of people can definitely relate to it. A job well done I would say! ^^

Posted 9 Years Ago

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24 Reviews
Shelved in 4 Libraries
Added on July 22, 2010
Last Updated on July 22, 2010



QLD!!!, Australia

I am female, 12, and im very VERY random :D I'm not afraid to take a stand Everybody come take my hand We'll walk this road together, through the storm Whatever weather, cold or warm Just let y.. more..

Prologue Prologue

A Chapter by La3uren

Chapter 1 Chapter 1

A Chapter by La3uren

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