MY FORGOTTEN FAIRYTALE

I caught a glimpse of you…when you didn’t know I was looking. Trying to re-discover what I’d forgotten about you. About us. Why I’d once loved you - in that other time.

 

You were standing naked in front of the mirror, your beautiful, auburn hair glistening on your wet, mortal body. You’d just stepped out of your morning shower-humming the customary tune you do so well.   I stood quietly in the hall, watching you shave your golden, red beard while you hummed, as you tapped the rhythm with your foot.  It was intoxicating- observing your routine without you knowing I was there. I’d watched your morning ritual many times. You…always aware when I was watching. In the past…in that other time.   Somehow...watching you with my heart, more than with my eyes made me melancholy missing those feelings I’d once felt for you…for us. Feelings that were once so deep within my heart. For awhile- back then - in the days of us.   Did we ever really love one another? Was it kismet - was it fate?
The question sits on unspoken lips. I sighed -missing us-missing you.

When our melody began, you sang the notes to my heart so well…so tender and real. We soared on the music, our mouths relishing the kiss. In our moments - in our past.   For a time we were us - you and me - me and you. We traced our love with thirsty lips - hungry bodies.  I stood there looking at you for quite some time, pausing at the door before I left... knowing I might never open that door again.
I turned back once more, before turning to go... making sure to remember just why I was leaving.     I turned back once more, before turning to go... making sure to remember just why I was leaving.    I believed and held on to everything that was once promised. Everything that could have been. Now there is a big empty space. A void of nothingness -devoid of you. The yellow and white wedding dress hangs lonely and dusty in the bedroom closet...just barely a relic, with the shoes I would have worn, shyly peeking out of the corner. How long as it been now? A handful of years? All smattered with lukewarm memories... barely remembering the sound of your steady breath, your softly hummed tunes.  In between moments I try to forget the wisps of floating memories. I think I'm doing well, but every once in awhile in between those painful moments of sadness and regret... and perhaps even a few tears, I realize it was really for the best. I've healed. Maybe...just maybe? Maybe...sometime soon?

 I had to let go of that dream...because I realized, you and it ...
were just a fable. Once upon a time is now, a Forgotten Fairytale.

But now…every time I see a man shaving, I sadly find myself thinking of you. Goodbye my love- a part of me will always love you. by anne p murray 2006
Kahlil Gibran: "But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure, then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor, into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears. Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself." 

By LadeeAnne © 2012 LadeeAnne (All rights reserved)