Butt Zombies

Butt Zombies

A Story by Darl1ng N1kk1

Here's something silly I whipped up, to celebrate Halloween. Based on an idea I had late one night, pondering why zombies always want brains.


Lizzie the zombie was sick of mindlessly walking around in search of brains.  She wanted something new, something different.  Something…fresh.  Zombies like fresh things, you see.  Brains were all well and good.  They were nutritious, full of protein, and so on.  But they lacked a certain...something. 

One day, Lizzie found what she’d been looking for.  How had she never noticed them before?  She suddenly realized there was so much more to humans than brains.  Those bulbous things below their waists �" how beautiful and scrumptious they looked!  Gigantic pillows of flesh, right above the legs, how glorious.

Lizzie became the first butt zombie.  She started the trend.  Now every self-respecting zombie won’t be caught dead munching on a person’s head.  The rump is where it’s at.  All that fleshy meat, it became the zombie equivalent of Fillet Mignon. 

And Lizzie started it all.  Now Lizzie has become a legend.  Humans tell their children to always look behind them, for fear of Lizzie taking a bite.  Little do they know that most children’s behinds are not nearly juicy enough for Lizzie.  It isn’t until a human reaches adulthood that they reach their true potential.  And Lizzie has become somewhat of a foodie.  She will only taste of the finest flesh.

So look behind you, and watch your a*s!  Beware of the BUTT ZOMBIES!

© 2012 Darl1ng N1kk1

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Hahaha, I don;t know what to say... this is so off the wall and the last line made me crack up. lol, very original. Good on ya mate!

Posted 10 Years Ago

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Added on October 31, 2012
Last Updated on October 31, 2012