A Star

I need a better view...

I am just a star,

My name, ‘The Shining One’ on earth.

Even though so many light years away from the planet,

It’s too clear when I look down.

There are wars, killings & hatred’

Amongst their own kind.

Just because of land, customs or rights.

I don’t see any difference,

In one person or the other.

Maybe its something in their hearts that differs.

They are so cruel,

It makes me so sad.

It makes me want to shoot down towards the planet,

Destroying the earth.

But that’ll make me like them,

Which I don’t want to be.

 

But I still look down,

To see the binds of love,

Of a mother to her child,

Or a husband to his wife.

That’s the only thing that makes looking at earth bearable,

To see the way mankind loves.

For love they would die not kill.

So, it confuses me even more,

If they’re capable of so tender love,

Then why do they hate?

Why is they kill?

Can’t they just love?

And that too like no other

Unconditionally & irrevocably.

But I’m just a star.

I shine again as the night comes.

Scaring away the darkness with my light,

Wondering when will mankind shine their love strong enough to scare away the darkness of hatred forever…

 

Reviews

[Katherine Enma Pineappl..]

Such nice thoughts coming from a star :D

An incredibly creative way of placing your thoughts and I just absolutely love the last line. It wraps everything up in a nice artistically neat... taco.

XD

Sorry I couldn't help myself.

Amazing write :)

[Fighter/Lover]

The ending was awe inspiring.

[Missy Lorraine]

My favorite part of the entire thing is the last four lines. It just ties everything together. UfoAuthor is right about it being a little underdeveloped, but that's okay. I read your comments and I completely understand. I too have a few pieces that I wish to not deface by trying to make pefect. I say a few grammatical mistakes, but those can be easily fixed. I am sure some other reviewer has already pointed those out, I I will leave that alone. The fact that the poem is from the point of view of a star is very unique. May I ask what made you write this? I think it is wonderful that you were able to capture the nature of mankind at such a young age. Keep up the great work!!

[Dark and Mysterious]

Thanks :) It was just a movie I watched. There was a little scene in which the girl pours out her heart to the guy, which inspired me. It's too bad I don't remember the movie. I just watched it just that one time when it was airing on the tv...

[Missy Lorraine]

That is absolutely fantastic! This is a fine talent you have here, never stop writing. I know of many other writers that are great writers, but their poems are sort of stale, if you know what I mean. They are still and bland even though they use sophistocated words. This is because they are not nearly as creative as you are and cannot seem to come up with anything very original. So, even if you don't use "big words" or anything like that, your poems will still be wonderful.

[Dark and Mysterious]

THANK YOU SOOO MUCH!!! It really means a lot :D Even though I know you're exaggerating. I couldn't be that good ;)

[Missy Lorraine]

I am not exaggerating. You are great!

[K.G]

very interesting message behind this poem, i really like how ur pov is that of a star. . .umm some errors that i saw that u might want to correct "Why is they kill?" shouldnt it be "why is it they kill"?, and i really like the last line, but its kinda needs fixing idk how you could because if u did then it just be meh, so u should keep that line how it is until u know for sure how to fix it

[Dominique]

That is the most interesting poem on earth. I love how it makes you think of truly how we are able to hold such different emotions in eachother.

[Dark and Mysterious]

thanks :)

[Dominique]

Your welcome

[WriterReaderEct.]

Good thing i read the other comments lol! haha its great since you were 11 when you wrote it! what im wondering is what movie cuz the only thing i can relate to this is Daughter of Smoke and Bone for some reason its a good book! you should read it!

[Dark and Mysterious]

by laini taylor? I have the ebook but haven'y gotten around to reading it yet. Will do :)

[WriterReaderEct.]

Yup! its an awesome book!! ;) im pretty sure you would like it! :D

[MandaBear]

Very cool. Great write

[Bluefire]

These are some amazing thoughts and views of the human race, I think many wonder why humans are so complex that they must hate and yet love at the same time. I love that you put it into a star's point of view.
Well done! ^^

[Dayran]

In my younger days my ideals were lighted up with the hopes that some day I'll be able to descend onto earth like an angel and wipe away the cruelty and ignorance with a glove and replace it with love. I thought I might be able to do that because I have so much love to give, however, before I could do that, the world had changed me into someone I used to dislike.

These days I understand better how that is done. On the up side, I realize I dislike myself less.

[Flutterby aish]

Well........i think its an ossam poem.......i love the idea of the star giving a message which many people try to convey n so did you bt u did it a bit differently by using the star as a mediator!!!!!! great one n keep writing!!!!