six

Then

The smell of antibacterial chemical filled my heavy head. Why in hospitals did everything have to be white? Aren't these places grim enough? I squeezed Dylan's hands tighter as we headed down the wide hall of crying children and hopeless mothers and fathers. I fear three things in life; spiders, the dark and hospitals. Right now I would much rather be in a black room full of spiders if it meant that all of this could just end. 

"You didn't have to come you know." Dylan held his head high as he walked confidently. 

"Well I wanted to. Your mom thought it was a good idea too. She didn't want you going alone."

"Thanks Lil." he almost whispered. "You're too good for me."

"I know." I snickered trying to lighten the moment. I got a smile out of him and that's all I wanted.  

We walked into a large waiting room full of kids and teens. The grim faces all around made my want to cry. Babies with parts of them missing, a toddler with a sparkly violet bandanna covering her bald head and wheelchairs and wheelchairs holding hopeful hearts and beautiful people. Then there is Dylan, still not totally passed as clear, but still looking healthy and full of life. Not like these poor kids. Remembering when he looked just like that made it hard to even look at him. Those are days I wipe from memory.

"Dylan" the monotone doctor strutted out of the double doors. "Dylan Remilard."

He kissed my forehead long and hard as he headed for her. I closed my eyes. Good news better come out of those doors. Only good news. 

Time passed but not nearly fast enough. After about thirty minutes of tedious waiting, Dylan walked out. His face serious as usual, no emotion to help me figure out if he was finally cleared for good. Remission is a great word, but I was done with it. 

He walked up to me and took my face in his hands. He kissed me long and hard.

"I used to think I was never going to be able to do that you know." He sat down gripping my hands in his. "I used to think about what I would do if I knew I wasn't going to get better. I started thinking of ways to say it to you, and that was before we even dated. That just goes to show I knew you were more important than any other person. And the day they told me I was in remission, I called you to go with me to the school play. I knew that being sick taught me to be forceful with the things I wanted." he paused and pulled me up with him. He pulled my body to his and held me as if it was the last time he ever would. "I love you for being here, and because of you, this is the last time we have to be for awhile." We stood there for awhile just holding each other. He was the bravest boy I knew. All of this, was behind us now and we could live every day without fear. He was my forever. 

Now

They teach you all about the important things in life when you are small. They push you gently on your bike, warn you about strangers, try and force safe sex and drug facts into your head..but what they don't teach you, is how to mend yourself when you lost the thing you loved in life most. As I sit here staring at the date, the date where we would typically be celebrating our third year together;  now just another day to scratch off on my calendar. Why didn't anyone show you what to do in this instance? Someone should have taught a class on how to make the tears stop, the confidence go back up, the memories fade quicker. Or maybe that's just psychiatry. I'm not quite there though. Being "happy" is one of my strong suits. I'm happier than people who have never been broken to fellow strangers. No one would ever know that on the inside there is a girl who is breaking. They say time heals all. Well time...I'm calling bullshit. So screw this date. The ten on this calender might as well be a knife cutting through me. I needed to get out of this house. And almost as if my mind was a speakerphone, the doorbell rang.

Reviews

[ANM]

A thorny subject that most of us will have encountered, well handled Laur! I think the double wheelchair is a bit unwieldy and there are some typos but they are minor and do not detract from the story!

[Laur]

thanks! ill take your comments into consideration

[ANM]

You are welcome. I enjoyed reading.

[Meraki]

Oh! What happens next? What happens next! I'm on the edge of my seat screaming that at the computer screen. This is gripping. Well done :D

[Laur]

more to come very soon!

[A. Amos]

I feel your words as the best part of reading your work is, you are a great story teller and you know how to get your reader connected with your craft, you truly are stylish writer my friend.

[Laur]

you're reviews are always my favorite :) same to you and your writing!

[A. Amos]

You're most welcome my friend