Sexual Abuse

Sometimes children get what they don't ask for

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 Sarah is in her room sleeping,  she has been for a while. Her dad walkes in the room and locks the door. He takes her clothes off.  He touches her in her private areas that fathers especially shouldn't touch.

 Sarah tries to tell her mom, but her mom doesn't believe her at all.

 That night her dad does the same thing and says if you tell another person I will do this to your sisters,  Tears roll down her cheeks as she tries not to scream from the pain.

 He does this for several days, but one night he got so caught up in doing things he shouldn't have, he didn't notice he had crushed her ribs, four ribs were broken.

 She couldn't catch her breath.

 The last words she heard were from her father saying "You're the sexiest thing I've had sex with, shame you're my "...

 And that was it...

 The next morning Sarahs mother came in the room to tell her to get ready for school, but she notices Sarahs eyes are still open and her skin is ice cold, her face is pale and she is no longer breathing.

 Her mother instantly knew what had happened, she just didnt listen. She stormed into her room and screamed at her husband. She broke into tears and yelled "What did you do to our daughter you sick piece of s**t!!!"

 

 

Author's Note

Ignore any errors please. But tell me what you think of this intence story that makes my heart ache inside and out. Hope you have a box of tissues.

Reviews

[Savior knowmore]

I'm sorry, but I don't think you quite captured what you were aiming for. It is sad, but with a story like this one, you don't want sad. You want deeper and more powerful emotions. The picture is eye catching. But it was the reviews that caught and held my attention long enough to read your story.
And yes, those who do these crimes are terrible. But you must try to capture the difference between what the reader knows of criminals who do these things, and how the criminal behaves. Many who do these crimes are actually not forceful about it. They make you WANT it.
As a last note, (and I'm trying not to be mean, but helpful with this review) I think the reviewers spoke louder than you did on this.
btw, try using the reviews to write a more... I don't know the word... not quite perfect, but greater than better... Eh, nevermind. Just use reviews to write an inproved version. It'll definetly catch some eyes.

[Kitty_Rawwr]

In my opinion the story was straight and to the point. but it missed any emotion. it felt like i was reading a monotone script that was written by either a person half asleep or someone who just didnt care and wanted to attempt at writing a stroy about sexual abuse. It was too short. And as for the intenseness of the story i can see what you were getting at. but i dont know if you reached it. No effence. just feedback. On the upside i liked the picture. it was the most emotion in the story that i saw and was what actually got me to take a minute to read.

[Bad Boy]

dear laura i love you and am sorry you feel the pain i wont to tell you that i am love you very much thank you for loveing me thanks i as sorry this is sad and it is good you are telling a poem that thousands of girls say it is sad what are world has come to sory for the pain

[Miss Marie Riorden.]

I would say . On errors . But it's too short . And there's too many people who have been in that situation . It's and ruthless . Demented and disgusting . But nice structure to the story anyways

[YouoweYoupay]

Do you um...enjoy writing brief heart-crushing story? I'm sorry but this was extremely inhuman. I did not enjoy it at all and I know you did not send a read request but I just had to leave a few comments. F*****g s**t. this is the only thought running around in my mind right now. I'm dazed! Poor poor girl. agh...

[My Fair Lady]

My goodness Laura, I wonder where you get this content????? Concerned mother here.