Your Ceiling

Your Ceiling

A Poem by Leaner Pastures
"

....laying in bed....

"
I feel the trace of my tears
Tickling the back of my neck
Just below the hollows of my ears


© 2010 Leaner Pastures


Author's Note

Leaner Pastures
...even dry, I will always feel them...

My Review

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Reviews

Your title is captivating and a three line poem is very interesting too. You have a good sense of form from what I see with syllables. And your end rhymes are great. I think you can do a lot with those three lines and keep the form and end rhymes. Good job!

Posted 9 Years Ago


wait until you've wept an ocean...

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

A feeling I know all too well. You captured it perfectly!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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i believe you have captured "sensation" ... and put it on display

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

.. into a cavern, deep ad wide..
Isn't everything an association? I liked this!

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

delightful:
i dare not make critique longer than your piece.

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

not crazy dejavu at all . . . wonderfully written

Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

full of experience and good sense of one's self.


Posted 9 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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726 Views
8 Reviews
Rating
Added on December 22, 2009
Last Updated on January 5, 2010
Tags: breakup, sorrow, love, heart break

Author

Leaner Pastures
Leaner Pastures

MT



About
No more land of Fat and Honey for me... I'm off in search of Leaner Pastures ________________________________________ Most of my work is straight to the page and unedited, striving for the puri.. more..

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