Identity

Identity

A Poem by J. Ghalden
"

Another one I found on my laptop from my previous stuff. Enjoy :)

"

I have to wonder

The things I say and do

Do they make me unique

Compared to you or you?

 

I find myself thinking

About this when I see

My friend change who he is

To what others want him to be.

 

That's not an identity

I thought this to myself.

Others don't make it for you

You have to make it for yourself.

 

I really don't understand

That need to belong.

Having to be someone else

In order to get along.

 

I might be exaggerating

Because really, change isn't bad.

I just think that you should use

The identity that you had.

© 2011 J. Ghalden


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Featured Review

This is an amazing poem, J. I love the meaning and the feeling, all the emotion. It is true that people feel an overwhelming need to fit in and change to do so. I agree with you- no one should have to change their identity to fit in. Your wording in this poem is wonderful. I only wish I could write such poetry. My mind just does not function that way.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

I really liked the ending. The poem had great style and a nice flow. Good write

Posted 9 Years Ago


I really don't read enough man-verse, and you know it's just different, like metaphysical or pondering in a different light.

Great ending.

1. I just think that you should use - The identity that you had
2. That's not an identity- thought this to myself



Posted 10 Years Ago


This is something that should go in a book that people for all ages should read. It was excellent the way you wrote it so simply. I love the concise style, the "and that's all I have to say" attitude. You didn't get over-emotional like I feel I do. You left it how it was. "Deal with it". Good job (:

Posted 10 Years Ago


I share your feelings on maintaining a unique identity and not coloring yourself in the same as everyone else to fit in! I enjoyed the simplicity and rhythm of the rhyming scheme...it made for an easy and pretty read!

I just have a suggestion about tenses which create a little bump in the reading of the poem. For example in stanza 3, you use past tense when you have been using present in the former stanzas..."I thought this to myself." How about "I have thought to myself" or "I think to myself"?

Also in the fourth stanza, the third line, wouldn't the line "Having to be someone else" be easier to read?

These are just things that I personally think would improve the quality of your piece, if you don't agree, you may of course disregard! :)



Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

This is an amazing poem, J. I love the meaning and the feeling, all the emotion. It is true that people feel an overwhelming need to fit in and change to do so. I agree with you- no one should have to change their identity to fit in. Your wording in this poem is wonderful. I only wish I could write such poetry. My mind just does not function that way.

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.


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Added on December 8, 2011
Last Updated on December 16, 2011

Author

J. Ghalden
J. Ghalden

Ottawa, Ontario, Canada



About
Aah yes, back to updating my profile. I feel like this is all of a sudden some kind of writing community fake-up of Facebook. Oh well. Male, 19, attending Carleton University as a major in English H.. more..

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