Words

Words

A Poem by Leah
"

Written: Mar. 20. 07. Inspiration: No idea. Some imagry used (saw it all in a scene played out in my head).

"

Too much to think.  About.

Not enough to say.

Not that it would matter anyway.

Never knew if my mouth was open

Or closed.

It’s open.

But nothing’s coming out.

Might as well shut up.

 

Too much to dream about.

Not enough in play.

Not that I would know what to say.

Never know if my eyes are open.

Or closed.

They’re open.

But there’s nothing to see.

Might as well shut them.

 

Too much to think about.

Never enough to say.

Bu tit never mattered anyway.

You never know if my mouth is open.

Or closed.

It’s closed.

And I won’t open it again.

So you might as well shut up.

© 2008 Leah


Author's Note

Leah
Had an "Inspiration Paragraph". Course that sentence doesn't make sense to anyone but me...

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Ari
I enjoyed the first stanza for its directness. However, repeating it with slightly different ideas and phrases doesn't really add much to it in my opinion. If I could make a suggestion, I would lose the middle stanza. I know how hard it can be to make changes (especially if they involve cutting out things), but I think that the first stanza really sets this poem up well, and the third stanza is spectacular. Of course, I'm not entirely sure that two similar stanza are going to stand well on their own. Perhaps you could put something that doesn't fit the pattern into the middle.

I'm not sure, these are just my opinions. I do think that this is an enjoyable work. Good job!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.




Reviews

If that does not tell them they talk too much for you to think its worth your while replying nothing will!!!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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T
I enjoyed all of this, it reminds me of the feeling of being with someone who is very controlling and what you have to say doesn;t matter to them...my interpretation anyway, good job:)t

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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Ari
I enjoyed the first stanza for its directness. However, repeating it with slightly different ideas and phrases doesn't really add much to it in my opinion. If I could make a suggestion, I would lose the middle stanza. I know how hard it can be to make changes (especially if they involve cutting out things), but I think that the first stanza really sets this poem up well, and the third stanza is spectacular. Of course, I'm not entirely sure that two similar stanza are going to stand well on their own. Perhaps you could put something that doesn't fit the pattern into the middle.

I'm not sure, these are just my opinions. I do think that this is an enjoyable work. Good job!

Posted 11 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

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3 Reviews
Added on July 22, 2008

Author

Leah
Leah

still over there, thinking of why you're not here., IN



About
hello there- i thought that it was time to update my biography. i "got my heart back" on the christmas break of 2008; i don't know if it was my boyfriend at the time's fault, or just some Godly mish.. more..

Writing
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A Poem by Leah