A Tumult of Water

Water seeks a simple path, thoughtless

lines in the softer ground, a rushing

tumult of water and stones breaking

downwards and creating the face

of the drowning man, someone like this,

a to-be-ended, lost, a water smacker

liquid runner, a dancer failing to bend

his feet to the ground, an unholy wetness ,

a face forced into a liquid laugh, no answer,

disbelief at the end of an obscene ballet

failing to contradict the rain and the salt

and the waves stopless and stopless.

Reviews

[icaros13]

Lovely. The work of a wordsmith. Vivid, yet cryptic, this piece evokes several possibilities with its symbolism, as good poetry should. Wonderful word choice. Complex in its simplicity. You have a new fan.

[Wolf's Dark Song]

A very dramatic write on the water and its movement. Your skill and creativity sure shine in this one. One amazing write!

[Norma M Sutton]

I like this. There is a creek near where I live and it is always moving and singing.

[r. f. jordan]

these are well-constructed couplets with approachable language and buoyant themes. the universal within the liquid, the clear compound within the sub-conscious, the surreal, and wet to the touch. this is a rivulet of poetry that speaks to origin as well as destination.

"failing to contradict the rain and the salt" even that which appears to contradict unifies. good work.

[h d e rushin]

Like Frost, or modernism (specifically) to devalue the supernatural or
religious elements in search of new forms of expression.
"water seeks a simple path"
rusing down and creating an unholy wetness. This is good work.
thanks for sharing, hder.

[reflectingus]

What caught my attention is the way you wrote this. There was this eternal flow, like the flow of water, words just ending and beginning, and thoughts spilling, and that was simply beautiful. Also, how you compare the 'liquidity' with real life, of flexibility of a dancer and all other things, a link with the real world, and the, well, the overall flow was amazing. The ending was actually accentuating to the eternal flow that it is neverending by 'stopless and stopless'. I truly enjoyed reading, the feeling lingers.

[...]

. "and the waves stopless and stopless" said the poet ... as i heard in awe ... wondering how fast the poet's heart must be beating when these words were said ... wondering about the pace of flow ... the emotion ... the journey ... the milestones ... "and the waves stopless and stopless" said the poet ... and i heard tumultuous poetry in awe ... truly stunning work, dear poet ...

[Ken Simm.]

And this is simply liquid beauty.

[Emily B]

somehow words have become real to me again, i find wonder and magic in these words you've left here

thank you