To Live and Lose

Foot after foot I trudged forth, on the streets late at night

The wind blew frigid, hard and I pulled my coat strap tight

To block out the cold and work out the hurt with my feet

Each foot slowly drowned in puddles of concrete

Each step became harder, every muscle claimed defeat

 

My head was swimming laps and my mind was at strife

Being slowly pulled under by the swift currents of life

Not a thing was going at all, the way that I planned

One step forward was two steps back.  I could barely even stand

My life was a sinking ship and there was no sign of dry land

 

Why does it all have to be so damn tough?

Why can’t it be over, I’m finished, enough!

I can’t go on living

In this world so unforgiving

 

I continued on walking and my tears mixed with the rain

But no amount of fall showers could wash away my pain

I turned and kept lumbering down a dark alleyway

When a man jumped out of hiding and told me to “pay

Up old man. Give me your wallet, I haven’t got all day”

 

“Please don’t take my money; it’s all I have to my name”

I cried as he grabbed it and yelled, “Stop playin’ this ain’t a game”

But my hand would not let go and I was pulled up against him

And his knife plunged deep in my chest and the whole world went dim

 

I lay in a pool of water as the rain mixes with my blood

All I have been and all I am now flows through my mind like a flood

I hated the life I was leading but it was the only life I’d known      

It was full of need and tribulation, why couldn’t I fight to make it my own?  

 

The rainfall has now stopped and has turned into snow

And my life is now ending and what do I have to show

For this thing I called life when I was barely alive?

I was a fool and coward. I don’t disserve to survive

 

Oh, what have I done? Oh, why didn’t I get it?

I want to live now; I want it all but all I get is a dark pit

It’s hard to breath. It’s hard to think. There’s no going back

The light is now fading and it’s all going black

 

It’s over. I’ve lost

Reviews

[Randall Andrews]

Very impressive poem. You are truly a deep thinker when it comes to poetry. You have a way of expressing yourself more than anything I have read from you before.

[Jesse Jacques]

this poem sounds so sad

[TheFemininePad]

A very vivid poem with such sad imagery. You present some interesting emotions through the conveying of events in this poem. I think you did a good job with this poem. It was a little hard to understand at first, but everything falls into place towards the middle of the poem. The rhyming of your poem is pretty constant, and I think you spent a good amount of time working on this writing.