Whispers

Whispers

A Poem by Levioshock
"

Just a poem I got from a little inspiration

"

Find me a word

Heed my call

Songs from a bird

Waiting on the wall

 

Can you hear me?

Can you not?

Please my angel

Don’t fear the dark

 

Nay the bee

Calm the trees

The Willow’s whisper

Your sweet kiss

 

Come to me

My dark eyed maiden

Play me you

Sweetened cadence

 

Take my hand

And follow me

While we rest

In the sea

© 2010 Levioshock


Author's Note

Levioshock
I want you honest opinions

My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

pretty and very well written. i envy you, if i could write like this...

i enjoyed this very much and the vocabulary was well used

Posted 10 Years Ago


I thought it was very good! If I could put words down like this I would love it! Your a very good at putting words down on paper! I enjoyed this poem!

Posted 10 Years Ago


[send message][befriend] Subscribe
Jae
I loved the flow of this and how the rhyme scheme was broken up. Its a very sweet poem and i love all the descriptiveness and imagery. It was a lovely read.

~Rem

Posted 11 Years Ago


I'm with Aldora on this; I'd rather it rhymed all the way or not at all, preferably the first because your opening stanza is your best. It never gets bad by any stretch, but the indecision does make it a little difficult as the reader has to adjust from one rhythm to another.

Posted 11 Years Ago


Honestly... the love you write about touched me in the longing ....If silence is what we hear then it is a good way .. patience is a virtue.. and Love is here.. never goes away... aw
I learn in my child years.. that the Ocean carries healing and life.. voices and whispers from God.. and stories that never end.. that is what I see in your work. a Journey awaiting to evolved.. love it again

Posted 11 Years Ago


Oh my my my...

Posted 11 Years Ago


I liked the concept behind it, but I found it a little hard to read because it seemed to rhyme, but then suddenly dropped off. Was that intentional? If it wasn't, I think you should choose to rhyme or not (I personally liked the first stanza so I think it should all be rhyme). Otherwise, short and sweet. Good work!

Posted 11 Years Ago


I liked it but the first stanza was my favorite, keep writing! :)

Posted 11 Years Ago


i liked the last verse. Its got like a med evil kinda shakespeare feel to it, i may be wrong but thats how it felt to me.

Posted 11 Years Ago


The first stanza is definitely my favorite. It flows beautifully and the rhyming works really well. You lose the rhyming scheme after that and I wonder if you did that on purpose. Maybe creating your own style. Which I like it makes it unique. Overall I enjoyed it.

Posted 11 Years Ago



First Page first
Previous Page prev
1
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

1429 Views
47 Reviews
Rating
Added on April 12, 2010
Last Updated on April 13, 2010
Tags: willow whispers ocean love tree

Author

Levioshock
Levioshock

Copley, OH



About
My writing is dark. I don't know why, it's just what comes out of me. I love writing and I love reviewing writing so give me all you can. If you want to get to know me, hit me up on facebook :) more..

Writing

Related Writing

People who liked this story also liked..


Cant Sleep... Cant Sleep...

A Story by Manda


Fear Fear

A Poem by HorrorMaster


first love first love

A Poem by LynLee


Angela Angela

A Poem by Coyote Poetry


Death Death

A Poem by HorrorMaster