I Don’t Want To Love You Anymore

I miss you
I know I don’t show it
But I do
I miss you with every fibre of my being
The way you held me
That smug smile
Your laughter
The way you kissed me
The way you sang and danced while you cooked us dinner

I miss you
And I love you
But I’m not taking you back
Loving you doesn’t mean you’re good for me
I need more
I deserve more
You never gave me what I asked for
Never gave me what I told you I needed
It was always about what you wanted
What you needed

And so
Despite how much I love you
I’ll never whisper your name again
While we’re tangled together in the sheets
Or while I distract you with kisses in the kitchen
Instead
I’ll crawl into the back seat of strangers cars
And disappear from their lives when they ask me to meet their parents
I’ll ride them until climax while struggling not to moan your name

Because I love you
And I don’t want to anymore