Peter

Just a silly little piece I wrote for my CW class. :)

Peter was a man hooked on drugs,

He had it so bad, he looked in his rugs,

He was constantly broke,

Known as the town joke,

But he was always giving free hugs. 

Reviews

[Ellejune]

so sweet

[Cürlie Kid]

i really like this one! makes me think off all the people i see eveyday that i just want to reach out a giving hand to, but if i do i know they will be mad at me. they want to live that way and i respect that, but it hurts me to see someone a cold winter night die just because they didn't took my hand :/ anyway great poem! one love

[yusuf]

Nice little poem.

[Dinesh Sairam]

I've never quite enjoyed limericks and any other blatantly funny poems (I do love the subtle dry humor of Billy Collins). But this was great. The contrast in the last line is an absolute winner.

I don't know if you count rhythm, but let me alter the poem a little bit according to rhythm (I'm not changing the meaning in any way):

Peter was a man who was hooked on drugs.
He had it so bad, he looked in his rugs;
he was constantly broke,
and known as the town joke,
but he was always giving out free hugs.

Take it, or scrap it. Keep writing.

[Tiffany Kelley]

Thank you for your kind review. I wanted so desperately to repair it the way you just did but I had to submit it as is because my professor was grading by the rules. She wanted the number sequence to be exact in form.

[Dinesh Sairam]

Ah, English teachers. I hate them!

[Tiffany Kelley]

Well as an inspiring teacher myself, I hope you may change your opinion or simply make an exception! ;)

[Dinesh Sairam]

Haha, it's not that I hate the teachers themselves. It's just that they don't help in developing poetic interests in children and youngsters, as much as they should (Of course there are exceptions).

It's like how Billy Collin says in his poem "Introduction to Poetry":

I ask them to take a poem
and hold it up to the light
like a color slide

...

But all they want to do
is tie the poem to a chair with rope
and torture a confession out of it.

They begin beating it with a hose
to find out what it really means.

[soliloquy]

This is cute! I liked reading it.

[Tiffany Kelley]

Aw yay!

[John Stussy]

Entertaining little limerick. The light quality of the final line almost negated the destitution of the previous ones, made for an interesting bit of perspective. Cool little poem. :)

[Tiffany Kelley]

I love the last line. Especially since it is based off true life.

[I Cast a Shadow]

Interesting limerick. I like the "tragedy with a smile" here. Very bittersweet.

[oxo]

nice limerick! i thought it was just the same as others, but with the last line, it made all the difference. :)

[Elizabeth]

This is great! I love how it shows the different sides of people that others may not see.

[Tex]

Hahahaha... I love this.

just a wonderful little poem... thank you so much for sharing this.

I just love the contrast in the last line... just great.

[Tiffany Kelley]

Haha thank you. My inspiration for "Peter" came from a friend named Rocky who will literally search in his rugs for dropped drugs as a last resort. Although he is dangerously hooked, he is so cheerful and insists on giving everyone hugs. :P

[Tex]

that is how you come up with great writes... take em right out of life...