i really like this one! makes me think off all the people i see eveyday that i just want to reach out a giving hand to, but if i do i know they will be mad at me. they want to live that way and i respect that, but it hurts me to see someone a cold winter night die just because they didn't took my hand :/ anyway great poem! one love
I've never quite enjoyed limericks and any other blatantly funny poems (I do love the subtle dry humor of Billy Collins). But this was great. The contrast in the last line is an absolute winner.
I don't know if you count rhythm, but let me alter the poem a little bit according to rhythm (I'm not changing the meaning in any way):
Peter was a man who was hooked on drugs.
He had it so bad, he looked in his rugs;
he was constantly broke,
and known as the town joke,
but he was always giving out free hugs.
Take it, or scrap it. Keep writing.
Posted 12 Years Ago
12 Years Ago
Thank you for your kind review. I wanted so desperately to repair it the way you just did but I had .. read moreThank you for your kind review. I wanted so desperately to repair it the way you just did but I had to submit it as is because my professor was grading by the rules. She wanted the number sequence to be exact in form.
Well as an inspiring teacher myself, I hope you may change your opinion or simply make an exception!.. read moreWell as an inspiring teacher myself, I hope you may change your opinion or simply make an exception! ;)
12 Years Ago
Haha, it's not that I hate the teachers themselves. It's just that they don't help in developing poe.. read moreHaha, it's not that I hate the teachers themselves. It's just that they don't help in developing poetic interests in children and youngsters, as much as they should (Of course there are exceptions).
It's like how Billy Collin says in his poem "Introduction to Poetry":
I ask them to take a poem
and hold it up to the light
like a color slide
...
But all they want to do
is tie the poem to a chair with rope
and torture a confession out of it.
They begin beating it with a hose
to find out what it really means.
Entertaining little limerick. The light quality of the final line almost negated the destitution of the previous ones, made for an interesting bit of perspective. Cool little poem. :)
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
I love the last line. Especially since it is based off true life.
just a wonderful little poem... thank you so much for sharing this.
I just love the contrast in the last line... just great.
Posted 12 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
12 Years Ago
Haha thank you. My inspiration for "Peter" came from a friend named Rocky who will literally search .. read moreHaha thank you. My inspiration for "Peter" came from a friend named Rocky who will literally search in his rugs for dropped drugs as a last resort. Although he is dangerously hooked, he is so cheerful and insists on giving everyone hugs. :P
12 Years Ago
that is how you come up with great writes... take em right out of life...
Twenty-two years old, confused by her own self-being. Never had the privilege of figuring herself out other than the fact that she has an unhealthy obsession with Literary Arts. As a child, she spen.. more..